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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this acceptable in the workplace?

213 replies

Middleware · 06/10/2025 11:33

In a group Teams chat someone has posted asking for some work to be done. Some one (male) has responded that ‘the queue for that is longer than the one for Bonnie Blue’.

Another woman on the chat has pulled him up for this saying it’s an unacceptable comment.

Is this acceptable? My gut is telling me this is not reasonable but I would like to formalize in my head why it isn’t. Misogynistic? Inappropriate reference to porn on a work chat?

Fwiw the bloke is a bit of a twit and the woman is highly respected but known for being a bit prickly

YABU = this is acceptable
YANBU = this is unacceptable

OP posts:
PotassiumPermanganate · 06/10/2025 12:21

He sounds a complete knob. You're right to complain. And those other men who say in private that they're shocked, they should call him out publicly to support you.

Gymrabbit · 06/10/2025 12:19

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest - it’s a simile related to a very well known news story (I can’t fathom how you’ve never heard of her…) which was all over mainstream media.
It’s people like you who give women a bad name and mean that real sexism and misogyny is easily dismissed.

He sounds like a prick generally though with his response.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 06/10/2025 12:17

I am obsessed with your description of yourself being 'well respected but known for being a bit prickly' 😄😄😄

Black Woman Lol GIF by NoireSTEMinist
Original poster
Middleware · 06/10/2025 12:14

blinkblinkblinkblink · 06/10/2025 12:12

A poo emoji? Is he 5!

Quite 🙄

OP posts:
blinkblinkblinkblink · 06/10/2025 12:12

A poo emoji? Is he 5!

Original poster
Middleware · 06/10/2025 12:04

So I am trying to be crystal clear in my own head quite why it’s unacceptable and to be sure that it’s not just because I find him deeply ineffective and unprofessional generally.

OP posts:
Original poster
Middleware · 06/10/2025 12:00

Ok full disclosure here. It was me who called him out in it. In public, on the chat.

I don’t know if I should have approached it privately.

He has responded to my comment with a Poo emoji and is now on leave for a couple of weeks so I can’t just speak to him.

Reading this back it all sounds so ridiculous.

But I have of late been made to feel that I am ‘difficult’ at work since a takeover and a major restructure. The man in question has caused me problems by damaging my reputation with his senior management.

3 of the other men on the chat have PM’d me to make it clear they are shocked by his comment.

I am unsure whether to take it further, or whether this will just provide proof that I am a troublemaker.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 06/10/2025 11:45

Hell no
Wtf is wrong with him

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/10/2025 11:43

Its utterly inappropriate. I find it pretty astonishing that you feel you have to ask.

blinkblinkblinkblink · 06/10/2025 11:42

It's the kind of comment that if said between co-workers in the break room, you could call it out but not go further, but once it's in a group situation, especially written down, it crosses over from inappropriate social comment to completely unacceptable work related misdemeanor.

Original poster
Middleware · 06/10/2025 11:41

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 11:37

I don't think talking about a prostitute for no relevant reason in the workplace is acceptable, no. He was clearly trying to be funny but obviously must be a perv/misogynist if he's got that kind of imagery floating around the top of his mind, seemingly at all times.

It's unprofessional to even admit you know who Bonnie Blue is!

I had to google it! I didn’t know what the comment referred to until my colleague raised it

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 11:37

I don't think talking about a prostitute for no relevant reason in the workplace is acceptable, no. He was clearly trying to be funny but obviously must be a perv/misogynist if he's got that kind of imagery floating around the top of his mind, seemingly at all times.

It's unprofessional to even admit you know who Bonnie Blue is!

FaceBothered · 06/10/2025 11:35

The questions on this forum get sillier and sillier 🤦‍♀️

I refuse to believe that as a (presumably) professional woman, you don't know the answer to this one OP.

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