Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

He’s 6 not 16 … I.d be going in to have a word with the teacher … it was not age appropriate at all

It seems that teachers these days are not allowed to do anything that may cause hurt feelings, even though a child is in the wrong.
The result is children who think the world revolves around them and a lack of resilience when they don’t get their own way.

Your son made a silly comment and probably didn’t like being told off.

I still remember being told off by a teacher at that age. Kids have an elevated sense of injustice, it doesn’t mean the teacher was necessarily mean.

He did need to be told off though. He needs to learn what’s cute to his parents isn’t cite for the teacher.

There simply isn't time for children to continually put up their hands and give their general thoughts on whatever you've said. Sometimes as soon as you open your mouth to speak to the class, the same child will always put up their hand with a vaguely related anecdote or musing. In a social setting it would be lovely, but it disrupts the flow of the lesson and takes time away from learning.

Your child's question was wholly unnecessary, even if not rude. Shouting (if it happened) was not the correct reaponse but I would have firmly pointed out that was exactly the sort of thing we don't need to be asking when there is a task to be completed.

Could be a literal thinking thing, which would explain why he was so upset. His reaction suggests he wasn't intending to be rude or cheeky.

My DS once got yelled at by a barber because he asked why it said both "boys" and "youths" on the prices board. The barber thought he was being cheeky. He was actually literally asking why both words were there because he's autistic.

I can’t stand shouty teachers and I’ve been teaching for 20 years.
It sounds as if the teacher was frustrated and probably snapped slightly. Your child might have been a smart-arse or they might have been seeking clarity (which is extremely common among neurodivergent children). You need to find out what actually happened; was your child being disruptive and got a firm taking to or were they berated and shouted at? Kids often say shouted when they mean “raised their voice to be heard over 30 children”. Speak to the school but go in with an open mind.

It’s the middle of a lesson, not time to argue the semantics of a clear instruction. “I don’t want to hear from you” doesn’t mean, “unless you need to clarify the exact meaning of my utterance”.

It reminds me of the things a young Sheldon would have said in The Big Bang theory, not realising he was being rude.

Exactly, this is so laughable. Child is cheeky, op is furious, yet she didn’t even speak to the teacher! Says it all

You were not in the classroom.
You did not see what happened.

Yet you, a grown adult, are willing to believe that a trained dedicated professional with a teaching vocation has acted so badly and completely disproportionately on the say so of a six year old and you are happy come onto a public forum looking for people to back you up about how awful the teacher is.

This is why teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

It's never right to shout at children. Teachers know that. Speak calmly to the teacher and ask if she can explain why your DS was so upset.

The child does sound a bit pert and cheeky. However, the teacher shouldn't be talking to 6 year olds like that. Sounds like she's in the wrong job.

I think there shouldn't be shouting and long telling off for minor things for a 6 year.old.

My adult neighbour was.telling me her youngest has now got the shouty.teacher and she's expecting lots of tears from her kid as she did with her previous two. I personally don't think small children should be shouted at like that bar in emergencies IE to stop someone running into a road, doing something dangerous etc.

In fact often when working with children it's more effective to lower your voice.so they have to be quiet to listen to you.

Some children are very literal, I can't say for certain whether your child is one of those or if he was genuinely being cheeky. Yes he does need to be taught how to interact with adults in positions of authority but he shouldn't generally be traumatised because of it.

There is no was the teacher was bellowing at him for a whole two minutes while he sobbed. Absolutely didn’t happen.

Even if he didn't intend to be rude or cheeky, his comment was inappropriate and he should have been following the teacher's instructions so it was right that he was corrected.

It does sound like he's a sensitive child who felt unfairly treated so the incident has become somewhat more serious in his mind over the day.

Yeah sorry the whole class were told be to quiet.

he wasn’t quiet and was nitpicking at the teacher. There’s a time and a place for that sort of thing and when the teacher has just told everyone to be quiet isn’t it.

tell him not to argue with the teacher.

Was gonna say the same

Teacher here. I agree with this. Based on your ds account the class as a whole were being too noisy/chaotic and the teacher was making it clear that the mood in the class needed to change. I'm sure you've had moments as a mum where your ds has questioned something you've said when you've been under stress and you've been irritated by his comment (or insert your dh/dp/ friend/colleague in a tense exchange). Reassure him but also guide him into learning when to keep some thoughts in his head - a teacher telling the class to stay quiet is not the moment to question how they have phrased this request (within the bounds of professional conduct, which in my opinion based on your ds phrasing, this was).

What you describe sounds a wholly unnecessary reaction to what your son said. At 6 he may be just thinking aloud rather than intending to be rude, plus the teacher sounds rather sarcastic. However, children can and do misinterpret things. But if you are finding he isn't happy generally, maybe a meeting with the teacher might be a good idea.

Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said?

It's possible that he was just clarifying - you know him best and will know if he can be cheeky, or if this was a genuine question. I know plenty of 6 year olds who would think they were being terrible clever asking this, whereas in fact they are just being a smart ass. Either way though, at 6 years old, they are old enough to know that when they are told to be quiet, they need to be quiet. So I can understand a telling off when he asked the question, and the teacher thinking it was rude.

That said, the teacher shouldn't have been shouting for two minutes - but I doubt very much that this happened. The teacher may have shouted, which isn't ideal, but you do also say that your son is a bit sensitive, so he may have built it up to be a bigger deal than it was.

And this discussion right here is the reason why teachers are leaving the profession in droves…parents, enough! Either get a grip over minor incidents/trivial nonsense, or continue to over-analyse every nanosecond of your child’s day, but stop complaining when more teachers leave. Here’s a thought- if you are so distrustful and so perfect in your every interaction with your perfect children, you are free to home educate. Put your money where your mouth is!

Some of these responses are so unkind. I could imagine my child when they were younger maybe saying the same thing not being a "smart arse" but perhaps trying to fully understand what the teacher had said and what they meant. Why do so many people on here seem to hate children

He was really cheeky and was told off. Of course he’s cried, he didn’t like being told off. Hopefully he will think twice about being rude in future.
Threads like this make me so glad I’m not a teacher.