Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

People on Mumsnet are always shouting, screaming, demanding something or ranting. So I interpret shouting , screaming and ranting as “I asked you to be quiet”expressed in a firm tone. I interpret demanding as “please could you pass the salt”

I think what some people fail to grasp is what might seem adorable in your one on one interaction with your own child is completely unmanageable when the ratio changes to one adult with 25 kids and learning needing to be done.

Your DS just needs to focus more on listening and less on making ‘helpful’ observations. At home you probably find it cute if he corrects you but he needs to learn the difference between home and school. He’ll get there.

It would be cheeky from an older child or an adult. I think it was a genuine question from a 6yo.

It was a different teacher in the OP but now we’re all cruel and sadistic. No wonder there’s a shortage of teachers.

As you say, you only have your son’s version of events. That may not be so reliable. His comment as you report makes him sound a little precocious.

Honestly, he’s 6 years old! It’s not appropriate to scream at a child to the point of tears. I can’t believe people trying to justify this in the comments and trying to imply that the child had more sinister intentions by trying to show the teacher up. He’s bloody 6 and he blurted out a comment on impulse!! Children don’t think the way adults do, some people on here need to better understand child development and psychology. Yes, he needs to learn to listen to instructions, but that does not mean he should be humiliated and intimidated in front of his peers.

The fact this affected him all the way until bedtime says a lot. The fact he no longer likes school says a lot.

As a mother, I’m strict and I don’t do coddling, so it’s not like my opinion on the matter is coming from someone overly soft.

I’m glad I left teaching. It was the snidey Covid Facebook comments that finally made me leave but if I’d had time to read this kind of thread at almost 11 pm I’d have gone sooner. I can honestly say that in over 25 years I shouted a handful of times.

I also have a 6 year old who is struggling with a super strict teacher this year. I do get trying to gain control early on but it feels a bit boot camp esque at the moment and mine has been struggling with the strictness and we’ve had tears. I do think some teachers aren’t necessarily the right fit for infants but suit slightly older kids who can handle that approach better. We’ve got a wonderful teacher at the school who we had for reception but now teaches year 6 and her demeanour and approach has varied depending on the age of the children.

I think the child in the OP was being cheeky or not reading the room. The teacher obviously meant just STFU the lot of you and he didn’t get that. Now he’s only 6 so that might have been lost on him but he needs to learn there is a time and a place.

But the work was interrupted further by another adult entering the room shouting and then a 6 year old crying.

*I’ve been hearing lots of “we have to sit in silence” Thats normal though there are times when they do have it sit in silence.
Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said He back chatted. That's rude.

“I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.”
To be fair it sounds like she's at the end of her tether with him and when told to stop he has sassed straight back at her.

Would a teacher continue to shout at a crying apologising child over this? He insists that’s what happened
That is his interpretation of what happened,.

Your son and his classmates were literally asked NOT to talk. And he talked. Why did he need to question it? He could have read the room and sent hat that was not a burning question at that time and he could have gone and said 'excuse me Mrs X what is the difference between pain and injured' at another moment. Not when they have just been asked not to talk.

Because the teacher was trying to do a piece of work. Sometimes kids need to accept they need to work quietly.

Based on info from the initial post, holy fuck. 😳

Because he'd been told to be quiet?

I never said a child would be traumatised by being told to be quiet - and I don’t think it’s necessarily over reacting for a teacher to raise her voice. What I said was we don’t know if the teacher was being firm, being short tempered or screamed/shouted - I’ve seen all three from teachers in my kids primary school so they’re all possible.

As I understand the OP, it was a different teacher who shouted, not the original one? If I’ve read that wrong though I apologise it’s been a long day!

You were lucky, I went to a C of E school and we were all quiet when we were told to be.

It's shocking.
I guess with class sizes as big as they are - its harder to get things done in the allotted timeframe and there is reduced space/patience for kids to be kids.

So why didn't the teacher answer his question and explain the difference instead of shouting at him

My kids went to a supposedly 'outstanding' primary and I once volunteered in my youngest's year 2 class. I witnessed a teacher have an absolutely shocking shouty rant at a boy who had been rude to a classmate. Fine tell him off but this was so over the top that he ended up heartbroken and sobbing 'I want my mummy' 😞. It was so bad I considered complaining.

My son is now friendly with this boy at College and he is autistic and very socially awkward. Still regret not doing something about it.

Sadly I’m not surprised by the replies on here - if a teacher ‘is at the end of their tether’ and this is somehow a legitimate reason to then shout at a small child, then maybe they need to rethink their career path! No way is it ok to shout at a child for goodness sake. Surely we are way past the days when teachers were allowed to dominate small children.

I can still remember an incident from when I was 6 or 7 (I’m now nearly 55!) - I really liked my teacher, thoroughly enjoyed school and we were playing bingo. She asked us to swap our bingo cards within our group and in my head I wanted to say, ‘Is it ok if we don’t swap, is that an option’ but I actually said, ‘I want to keep mine.’ So of course my teacher replied, ‘Well I don’t care what you want to do, I’ve told you to swap.’ I struggled not to cry, but was very hurt and felt misunderstood and wrongly told off - so I feel your son, at just 6, could be feeling exactly this way. Please find out what happened by all means but do not accept that it’s ever ok for any other adult to shout at your child in this way.

Working in a school i don’t think there is a day that goes by where a child doesn't say something inappropriate/cheeky. We deal with it and move on however i do not know any staff who would berate a child to tears for a cheeky/rude comment like this. I find it totally laughable on here though that as soon as a child makes a mistake or is rude they are being classed as neurodivergent. Speak to your wee one, have a quiet, calm chat out of earshot of any children with the teacher and you will probably find the truth is somewhere in the middle.

If you can't manage that without shouting at a child then you shouldn't be teaching. I'm talking about shouting at an individual child, not raising your voice to a whole class, which is sometimes needed to get through to them.

@SummerFeverVenice my DS1 (and me) would have both asked similar at the same age. DS1 was often in trouble in year 1 for being rude but not really understanding why.

@partytimed hopefully he has just had a big reaction due to tiredness, its nearly the end of the week.

If ten parents want a 5 minute chat at the school gate, that’s 50 minutes at the school gate for the teacher. Just let them do their jobs for goodness’ sake.