Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

Pain and injury mean two different things so he was incorrect but he is only 6. And so what he tried to correct the teacher even if his understanding was wrong. He didn’t deserved to be shouted at. He wasn’t repeatedly interrupting.

Some parents encourage their kids to always pipe up with something witty and cheeky to show how funny and smart they are. I'd have said sharply "well actually Billy, you could be injured and not in pain, or you could be in pain but not injured."

Is this year 1? A lot of kids find the jump between reception and year 1 a lot in terms of expectations of behaviour.

In future, just tell him not to interrupt class with wise cracks. It isnt the time or place.

"...at a time where there are more important things going on."

Such as the "teacher" telling the students, "I'm only here to put in the hours, so I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured. If you want to learn anything, there are private tutors your parents can hire."

The shouting isn't okay though. Teachers shouldn't shout.

>>" Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said?"

It's not "really rude" but it is disrespectful to the teacher's instructions, it wastes time, it's a bit nit-picky at a time where there are more important things going on. If your son doesn't naturally pick up on those social cues, he needs to be told. I give kind and clear explanations about this sort of interruption to my autistic students.

If your son is definitely not ND in any way, then he probably did know he was being a smart arse and was wasting everyone's time for his own amusement.

He's a six-year-old in what's supposed to be a child-friendly primary school, not some hapless conscript in the army, where they don't tolerate "cleverness".

It's that simple, Sergeant.

He was trying to be a smart arse and didn't like being reprimanded.
It's that simple..

I’ve thought about this some more since my last reply. I’d be so upset and would 100% be requesting a meeting with the teacher and the head. The fact that two teachers were involved and your son talks of scary teachers and lots of having to sit quietly woud make me worry there was a negative, bullying culture in the school. The teachers remark was not appropriate for use with young kids. It might be ok if said with a jokey tone with post primary kids but not 6 year olds. The second teacher wading in intimidating and shouting at a little child even as he was crying and trying to apologise really is disproportionate and contemptible and I’d be wanting their guts for garters. I’m no Pollyanna at all but it makes me sad to think of the little fellow. It must been quite scary and shocking if the little classmates were trying to comfort him. In my opinion your child said absolutely nothing wrong. Normally we encourage children to be inquisitive, to ask questions and engage with teachers. He was just making an observation that would have welcomed and a decent teacher would probably have smiled or laughed at it. Fuck them - absolute pricks.

I’d be dealing with this very seriously and keeping a very close eye.

As someone who has had a couple of horrid teachers, I’m going to side with your child. Yes, they do still exist from what I’ve heard. And it does cause children to want to avoid school. The stupid things I hear teachers doing to children, like humiliation etc are unbelievable.

Why are teachers screaming or shouting at a child, let alone a 6 year old - that’s unacceptable! He’s not overly sensitive, he’s 6 years old, it’s a scary situation. If teachers don’t know how to handle young children without shouting and demanding unreasonable periods of silence they have no business teaching. It shows a lack of critical thinking, awareness of child’s development/age, & the demands are unreasonable.

It’s not a cheeky reply, the child probably needed clarification. Try understand it from their perspective.

I had a horrid scary teacher in my first year of school, who made me cry on my first day over smtg trivial. She continued being mean & unnecessarily strict. My parents moved me to a better school.

I think if an older child, say 10 plus did this, the chances are more likely they were pushing boundaries and being cheeky (though some literal interpreters might not intend this and children with adhd might impulsively respond instead of being quiet).

But a 6 year old? Should not be shouted at in any case, just firmly reiterate the message and that it means to be quiet as of now.

I'd ask any of the other children what happened? Then ask the teacher for their account?

And what message is it sending to the children?

"If you don't understand the schoolwork or have any questions about it, too bad - I will shout at you if you address me. I only want to hear from you if you are in pain or need the toilet - that is the bare minimum of "teaching" that I'm prepared to do, so if you're here for an education, you're in the wrong place."

This is my first time on Mumsnet and, having read some of the replies, I think it'll be my last. What happened to compassion and supporting other parents? So many of the comments come across as self-righteous and judgemental. Please be kind.
And in case anyone thinks I must be a "snowflake", I grew up in the 70s/80s when a chalk board rubber aimed at your head by a disgruntled French teacher wasn't unusual!

He was right though. Would you shout at a kid for that? Ridiculous.

We had a teacher in primary who did say things like this when she'd asked for quiet but dc kept talking.

All my kids are adults and I was 100% not the parent who went running in all guns blazing because I respect a teacher's authority in their own classroom. THAT SAID, I would 100% be contacting the teacher on this because these kids are SIX! That's still infant school and no teacher should be talking to a class full of infant school kids like that in the first place, never mind the yelling from another teacher. Obviously their version is going to be different but I'd want to know more.

I was a bit of a smart ass kid in secondary school. I got off with it mostly because I was top in several subjects and a bit of a teacher's pet. One subject I hated was sport which I dodged whenever possible and made no effort.

One day the sports teacher asked me "You dont like sport do you Friendly?" When I replied in the affirmative, adding that I was poor at sport and had no interest in it, the teacher proceeded to lecture me. "You cant go through life avoiding things just because you dont like them"

I ponted out that I was top in 5 academic subjects and it was these I would be putting down when I applied for a job. I added that I was "not looking for a job as a sports teacher". The teacher then told me I was a cheeky girl.

"No miss, you asked me a question and I answered you".

“I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.”

TBH I think the teacher was really rude saying this. Would she have been as abrupt with an adult?

I agree we don’t have the right balance but if a teacher can’t keep her temper in check and respond appropriately she shouldn’t be teacher. Kids being bullied into submission won’t teach them anything

He was respectful he raised his hand and asked for clarification, that’s not cheeky or rude. All she had to do was simply respond and move on why is that difficult? My daughters similar she’s very academic and picks up minor issues because she’s trying to understand which at 6 years old is completely normal

We weren't hit into submission by teachers when I was at school, but we had been brought up to be respectful.
I'm really not convinced we've got it right now that behaviour is so much worse in schools in recent years and kids have been brought up to think if a teacher is getting cross and saying the kids mustn't interrupt then its fine for them to call out a cheeky comment. All of the children's learning matters. Not just little Jimmy who's been brought up to express himself whenever he wants, even if that stops others from learning.

No they didn’t “just know” they were literally hit into submission, they didn’t speak up because they knew what was coming if they did. Thank god it’s not like that anymore

Kids used to just know at that age not to say anything if a teacher was getting cross and warning the class not to interrupt any more. They just did.

Teacher here.
I would say your dc didn't realise it was cheeky ..he just blabbed out what came into his head. Then when the teacher reacted he got a fright as it was not what he was expecting. But it is cheeky as a teacher cannot teach a class if she has to listen to everyone's opinion. If she needs to work with a small group she does need silence for a short while. It's difficult for anyone outside a classroom to understand how difficult it is to do small group work if there is constant chatter.
I hope the teacher didn't go on a rant as that is not acceptable.

I’d definitely be going and speaking to the teacher and I’d be asking to speak to the teacher that thought “shouting” at a 6 year old was appropriate rather than explaining themselves properly.

my daughter would say the same thing because she needs to understand, once she understands she will carry on with no problems

I would be asking why the teacher feels it’s appropriate for 6 year olds to sit in silence, it’s absolutely not!

if his account is true then I’d certainly have some not nice things to say to that teacher!

before anyone has a go that my daughter doesn’t know boundaries or discipline she does. I’ve backed her teacher up many times and told her she needs to use respect and listening ears but these are kids they need time patience and understanding

I didn’t feel dramatic, I was literally frozen. I know worse things happen, but I never imagined small children would get screamed at in school like that with other staff around acting like it was completely normal. Woukd you be ok if someone did that to you in your workplace? Why is it ok just because it’s a child?

I think you're confusing two things. What he said wasn't rude, as in it wasn't insulting. But he was rude for saying it.

If it means he has now learnt not to answer back and instead do as instructed then there's at least a silver lining to his upset. Maybe she was being too nowty when she said it, maybe he was being cheeky rather than inquisitive and he's told you slightly inaccurately.

If you go into school perhaps the best angle you could tackle it from is to take him with you and say he knows he did wrong but he is worried teacher will stay cross at him and he just wants reassurance its in the past.

He's still only little so it's all learning curve of behaviour and making mistakes but successfully moving on from them. Hopefully it'll blow over and won't weigh on him too much.