Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

Children should be seen and not heard right?

I'm a primary school teacher and I would be speaking to the school about this. Obviously, as you have sensibly stated, your child may not be entirely accurate. However I do sadly know that some teachers are scary and shouty and it's not OK. To those saying 'this is why teachers are leaving in droves..' etc. are you serious? OP has been calm and measured and stressed that she wants to hear the teacher's version of events. Her concern is her child's wellbeing and he is upset and sad. He's six!
OP I wouldn't take his comment as rude from a six year old, especially if he is generally a non-sarky kid and not trying to be class clown. Even if he was I wouldn't have told him off if he was visibly upset (and certainly not in public). Have a look at the school's behaviour policy too and reference this in the meeting - go in open minded and hopefully you can work with school to make your child happier.

This! Please do not automatically believe your child and march up to the school demanding to phone social services as the teacher has abused them. Yes, this happens. And parents using the excuse of sensitive/highly intelligent child are the worst.

Children are not perfect,they are still very much developing their executive functions such an inhibition and impulse control, they are not robots nor are they in some sort of jail at school. It is very VERY clear that the child wasn't trying to be smart or cheeky from their reaction, they popped their hand up and let their random thoughts come out, yes a reminder, that's not really an important question or I don't think you really needed to ask that or even that's quite rude etc would have been appropriate but it sounds like a horrific over reaction and I can't believe a teacher didn't respond when a little child began to cry. The thought of all the wee friends trying to comfort him is breaking my heart. OP I'm not really one for calling or going to the school, I've had kids in primary for nine years, I'd be escalating this. I am also a therapist and I'd encourage your son to reflect on what he feels he might have done wrong, (perhaps interrupting or asking unimportant questions) and what he can learn but also that it's ok to make mistakes like that and move on and he can always trust you to not judge him and help him work it out.

She should have said "No, they're not. I'll explain the difference later. But right now I need everyone to listen and not talk" That way she gets them to do what's required without giving the message that all discussion is 'wrong'.

There are 30 kids in the class. If she responded to all their daft comments like this thats all she would do all day and she's got a demanding curriculum to get into them. There quite literally isn't time.

He needed to be quiet and do as he was told.

Too many parents think the same these days, sadly. They expect their children to be taught to the highest standards and will kick off soon enough if they think that’s not happening, but baulk at the idea that to achieve that, children need to be orderly and well behaved so they can learn. Discipline is necessary.

and technically he was wrong.
I am in pain right now but I don’t have an injury.

Anddd the subtlety of this distinction was exactly what the 6 year old child was curious about. This is absolutely developmentally appropriate and how 6 year old brains are designed to work. It's literally how they learn about the world and come to understand these kinds of nuances complexities. The teacher of all people should know this and not be trying to stamp it out because of her own ego.

Does he answer back in a cheeky way a lot? Interrupt? Comment where none is needed.

I have a boy who would have wanted to do exactly the same. We have had to work on him reining in the impulse to say this sort of thing at school. The key is to say to them "is that information the teacher needed?"

That "pain and injury are similar" is not and is also completely counter to what she's just said. I suspect she's got a class of kids interrupting, answering back, making constant annoying comments.

They are there to learn, they need to zip it a bit. Its a normal thing for a teacher to have to say to year 2 etc.

But in that moment she just needed them to be quiet, and that comment, which adults would understand, might elicit even mor’ discussion’🙄 about semantics.

She needed to shut things down.

I used to volunteer at a village school and knew a lot of the parents. Some of the things friend's children came out with were incredible. I frequently had to call out lies, both to the parents and to teachers. One year 2 boy told his mum the teacher pulled his ears because he wouldn't change for PE. I know it didn't happen because the teacher had to leave the room and I supervised whilst they changed.

He was cheeky and a bit of a smart arse and technically he was wrong.

I am in pain right now but I don’t have an injury.

He got ticked off for it - I doubt it was a 2 minute yelling at him but it probably felt that long to him.

He isn’t in reception any more - he needs to learn to sit down, be quiet and get on with his work. And he needs to learn to do as he’s told and not back chat.

I get that he’s 6. But he’s in school and he needs to learn to behave appropriately in a group environment.

I have a feeling he’s struggling with adjusting to a more formal learning environment and being told off.

mine are all adults now and one was the smart arse. Very bright, very quick witted and very funny. But he was constantly in trouble in school for it - from about age 6 or 7 when the expectation became sit down, be quiet and get on with your work. So I do have sympathy.

I went in the first time or two and had a chat with the teacher and I left with a red face coz I had believed his version (because I’m not saying he was lying as such but a ticking off seemed more severe to him) but it turned out there had been a whole ton of stuff that has led up to the ticking off.

if I was you I’d go and talk to the teacher and ask her what her expectations are in the classroom and try and figure out what it is that’s different that he’s struggling with, in conjunction with her, and put strategies in place to help him.

But I’d also be telling him to stop the smart mouth know it all answering back to the teacher, because in pain and injured are not the same thing.

This reminds me of my very well-behaved 7 year-old son telling me quite innocently and seriously that he thought his teacher liked a particular boy in the class best. I asked him why he thought that and he said’Well, Jack is really clever and knows a lot and he often tells Mrs Bloggs that she’s got something wrong’.

Bless him. I bet Jack was NOT the teacher’s pet!

Poor teacher is probably sick to the back teeth of this me me me attitude

😂😂😂😂. then she reallt needs to get another job other than being in charge of really young children.

Good advice, unfortunately like too many parents, I suspect op just wants to hear that the teacher is evil and her son could never possibly do any wrong.

He just had to open his mouth to correct her, didn't he?! Poor teacher is probably sick to the back teeth of this me me me attitude

She should have said "No, they're not. I'll explain the difference later. But right now I need everyone to listen and not talk" That way she gets them to do what's required without giving the message that all discussion is 'wrong'. However its not something I'd complain about unless it becomes a pattern. Reinforce with DS the need to follow instructions. It's really important he can do this for his own safety.

Possibly not the best way of putting it to that age group but your son immediately disobeyed the instruction with a trivial and attention-seeking question. If he has the confidence to be that cheeky I’m guessing he has the resilience to take this harsh lesson on the chin too?

I think your best course of action is to take this line with him - ask him to consider what he said and why he felt he had to say it, and see if can understand why it made the teacher so very cross. I’m not being flippant - if he really doesn’t get why his behaviour was highly irritating, you need to work on this with him.

Your kid was being smart, sorry but even at home ours don't be cheeky. Teach your child there's a time to speak and a time to be quiet

Of course the teacher has the right to ask for quiet- not in the manner she did though which was completely inappropriate . And she doesn't have the right to yell at a 6 year old for putting their hand up and asking a question .

no teacher would behave like this in my DD's school. They have just been inspected by Ofsted- "outstanding" for behaviour.

Teachers don't need to be abusive to manage kids' behaviour.

Maybe they were doing an assessment /test?
The boy was cheeky. Maybe he didn't know he was, but that's on the parents!

But... as I said, he does need to learn to shut up. Yes I can see my six year old behaving like that and not being intentionally cheeky, but we do need to teach them not to annoy people.

If she'd been trying to get the class quiet and he asked yet another question, I can completely see why she was cross.

Sometimes a teacher needs the class to be quiet so they can teach. It's no wonder schools are struggling so much with behaviour if people are teaching their kids now that the teacher doesn't have the right to ask for quiet and their wish to talk is always more important.

Agree 💯

We have no shouting and silent classrooms at my
(secondary) school. Kids still think they’ve been shouted at by teachers, for some reason.

The only way to resolve this is to speak to the teacher to raise her awareness.