Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

I remember making a comment like that in class at around the age. I was told to stop being facetious and I remember going and asking my mum what that meant. I was also very upset and still hate that teacher 30 years later.

Taught me that there's a time to speak and a time to keep silent....sorry your son is feeling sad about school now. I'm sure it will pass

I was that smart-arse kid once, and the teacher lobbed the chalkboard duster at my head! Luckily she missed. A valuable lesson though.

Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said?

Yes, it is rude. Teacher was asking the class for quiet, and he put his hand up to “correct” her/argue her point etc etc (call it what you will). He was being a smart arse. It was cheeky and unnecessary, and he has been sanctioned for it.
And he’s wrong anyway, being injured and being in pain are NOT the same thing.

How would the child know it was 2 minutes? Stop watch?

Critical thinking please! Would you be happy to be judged and sentenced on the testimony of a 6 year old with a vested interest?

I mean - yes your child was being a bit rude - but I would be surprised if they teacher went on and and and on at him tho… and sobbed (and timed it) for 2 minutes? Have a word with the teacher. Could it be that this isn’t the first time he’s interrupted her? Etc.

It doesn't sound like she lost her temper, frustrated maybe.

He was being cheeky.

Explain to him what she meant and tell him not to answer back in future.

Kids today are snowflakes. And so are some of their parents.

Honestly I'd let this go. Of course jr was a cheeky comment, he was trying to correct the teacher which never goes down well. It sounds like it was another teacher who told him off. ?
There is no way of going to the school about this without coming across as that crazy parent. Ie telling them that they need to gentle when disciplining him for being cheeky.

I was the smart arsed comment child if I’m honest and I agree.

Thing is though if you know you’re the smart arsed class clown sort of kid even at that age I think you accept that getting told off is a an occupational hazard.

The fact OP’s son is so upset about it makes me think that a. He genuinely didn’t know he was being a smart arse or b. He knew he was being clever but this particular teacher’s reaction at this particular time was far more than he expected, possibly too much, and it has actually upset him.

OP it’s worth speaking with his teacher for clarification on exactly what happened because a 6 year old isn't always a reliable witness. Also worth speaking to DS more objectively about why he felt the need to pipe up like that when they’d clearly all been told to be quiet. Whether it was a genuine question or an attempt to be clever for laughs you need to explain why it wasn’t appropriate or appreciated.

Unbelievably shocked by all these ‘he’s been a smart arse comments’ and thinking it’s fine for a teacher to scream at six year old. Especially so early in the term after coming from a much more play based environment. Children are children and six is still so young.

It sounds like a lesson learned and hopefully next time the teacher says silence he takes it on board, however, if you're genuinely concerned you could have a very diplomatic non-accusatory chat with the teachers along the lines of ' I know 6 year olds aren't the most reliable when it comes to regaling events however DS has been really upset over a telling off incident yesterday. He's a sensitive boy and it would be helpful to understand what actually happened so we can reinforce school rules at home and help him understand what's expected of him and hopefully avoid getting in trouble again.'

I agree you need to find out what actually happened. Like the teacher's reaction sound OTT but also why does your child not understand working quietly means not asking completely unnecessary questions?

This. My eldest son ( now 32) is clever but has ADHD. He would have been unable to prevent himself coming out with something like this. The rest of the class would probably have laughed. He spent quite a lot of time outside the classroom because of it. I was a teacher at the same school. Teaching a smart arse gets very , very tedious.

I was originally a secondary teacher who retrained for primary after my children were born. As an English teacher I winced at the paucity of the language used with small children. I found that the only word they’d learned to describe negative emotions, for eg, was ‘sad’. We’d read a story about a monster jumping out on someone and I’d ask them how the person might feel and they would all chant ‘sad!’ (Not the only instance).

Similarly I saw children accuse someone of shouting when they really hadn’t, or screaming when they’d simply raised their voice. I’d honestly take what a 6 year old says with a few grains of salt.

But turn this to a positive- make sure your son gets that he needs to be quiet when asked, and not seek further clarification.

Is he just not used to being told off, and in front of others too?

I’d talk to the teacher to get clarity, but be ready to apologise if it turns out they behaved appropriately.

Also as much as some people don't like to hear it, a teacher and the children are not equals. Presumably you don't expect the adults to ask permission to go to the toilet, but if you applied the same rule in a classroom, some kids would miss most of the lesson and get no work done.

There will not have been over the top shouting or aggression this is primary school!

I have noticed increasingly in recent years that a lot of young children say an adult was 'shouting' when they use a stern tone and raise their voice even slightly for impact. They arent shouting, but the children think they are, because nobody at home uses that 'telling off voice' with them so they aren't used to it.

A lot of children also associate being told off with 'being shouted at'. Again because often they arent properly told off at home - adults say wishy washy things to them like 'use kind hands!' or tell them to think about their behaviour but actually they are rarely properly told off.

Perhaps the class as a whole is somewhat unruly and needs firm direction if any learning is to be done.

Your son’s response was a bit of a smart-arse thing to say and if 30 children in the class were all to challenge the teacher with such “clever clogs” responses, she wouldn’t get much teaching done!

In my experience how 6 year olds perceive an incident is very likely not exactly how it happened, and as much as there is shit teachers I’d be very surprised if they were shouting like your son said, unless something mentally wrong with them and at the point of unable to cope. I’d also be surprised if the comment on don’t want to hear from you came right off the bat, but likely in response to a child not being quiet,

id speak to the school, and not take this as read.

For all of the people saying the kid was being a smart arse that’s really unfair. I was the kid that would have said this, not because I was trying to be a smart arse but because what the teacher said was kind of contradictory and one of the words is redundant. He’s right, injured and in pain IS the same thing. After ask how would he get injured sitting quietly?

i have an official diagnosis of adhd and autism. That doesn’t make me a smart are or obnoxious or any of the other things I’ve been told as a child. It just means my brain worked differently and someone’s I needed to clarify the instructions or even felt compelled to. No wonder so many kids dislike school these days, it’s being treated like ultra compliant clones in a factory that kills their creativity and stamps out personality.

Yeah I might say this occasionally but I teach secondary!

I think it’s a cheeky response too but it’s only cheeky if he understood that it was cheeky. If he didn’t then the teacher should have explained why it was inappropriate to say what he did and was essentially back chatting. I agree pain and injury is too different things but to a child pain and injury could be seen as the same thing they are only little still.

my son has just gone up to year 2 and is finding It stricter, they are also learning to have more quiet times. But again this is learning new situations and they won’t get it right all the time and I think unless they understand and then being naughty and pushing back it doesn’t need to result in shouting/ punishment.

Name change but one time I was amused about what my DS5 had just said and told him, you are so literal, and he replied "I'm not literal, I'm Alfie!" This is something my DS would ask in class too, the fact that he raised his hand suggests he wasn't being cheeky as he was literally asking permission to speak! I would definitely have a word.

My DS is in year 1 and really struggling this year as its a big step change from reception. (ridiculous amounts of homework IMHO too!) I'm sorry the teacher is stressed out but she shouldn't be shouting at the kids at the drop of a hat. Xx

I didn’t ascribe it to you - it was a general observation about others’ comments based on your comment.

I had a great primary school experience as a child I the 70s. Our headteacher taught my class (wonderful days when heads still had time to do this). He had a very dry sense of humour and I remember him regularly saying as a mock threat “I’ll have your guts for garters” or “I’ll have your ears for souvenirs “. If someone was off school he’d even say “Well, I hope it’s nothing trivial!”

We learned a lot of vocabulary and to appreciate gentle sarcasm and exaggeration for humorous effect.

I’d prefer a teacher with a bit of something about them - a bit of character- rather than an Ofsted-programmed android who never strayed from the official script in their utterances. Of course we don’t even know if this little boy’s version of what happened reflects reality but I’d cut the teacher some slack. I like her exaggeratedly-worded request - good for her for being a human being.

God, school must be mighty dull these days.