Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

😂😂😂 you've got me!! 6 years old and joining Mumsnet

Now who wants to join me on Roblox?

Where does the OP say her son was screamed at?! You're just inventing a narrative now.

They are there to learn and they argued with the teacher, then got told off and cried, sounds like they have no boundaries at home, so not use to getting told off.

Others are missing out on learning whilst the teacher deals with children who are unable to follow simple rules.

There was a shouty supply teacher at my dc's primary school. A parent who'd been helping in another class was walking down the corridor, overheard the teacher shouting and went and got the Head, who went to listen. She went in the class, relieved the teacher of her duty and sent her packing.

No teacher should be shouting at 6 year-olds.

As a child, I remember the deputy head interrupting another teacher's story time with "what do you think you're doing, you horrid little boy? Go and stand on one of Mrs X's tables!" I hadn't even noticed what this boy had done (probably whispering), and he was one of those who got told off all the time. I thought Mrs X didn't seem too happy as this boy dutifully stood on a table.

In the 1980s, it was normal for teachers to talk to children in that way, humiliating them in front of the whole class, or even the whole school. I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or not: children knew where they stood. I remember the same deputy head doing a Trunchbullesque march around the classroom, throwing more than half the children's books on the floor, then she made them stand at the front and hold them up. Their crime? They had written the word "kitten" in their books after the deputy head had written it on the board, but not actually told us to write it. I also remember that when two boys messed about in assembly, a pushchair was wheeled in, and the boys asked if they would like to sit in it, as they were behaving like babies; they solemnly shook their heads. It also meant that they got a lot of attention for misbehaving.

And, we have OP's son joining the thread.

If we don’t explain why, how do children actually learn real boundaries? Just saying you did something wrong is how we train dogs. Even with babies and toddlers, explaining lays the foundation for understanding.

Lol at the idea of explaining fully to every child one at a time in a class of 28

🍿 Me too! 🍿

The teacher will barely remember it, with everyone going on.

'Oh yes, I did ask little smart arse jnr to be quiet. No, I didn't shout or scream'

Looking forward to OP coming back to update us with the outcome of her discussion with the teacher.

I disagree that this approach is best. Your child might be the exception but many, if not most, children of that age respond best to strong boundaries and a clear message when they’ve acted inappropriately. The teacher wasn’t wrong, we will never know the full story but more than likely the child was being a smart arse, and even if he wasn’t, either way it’s a lesson in when he needs to respect instructions and authority. I despair of the current generation of kids growing up with no resilience and thinking the world revolves around them due to gentle / permissive parenting.

If you hurt yourself you would be in pain......

There’s nothing wrong with raising your voice. Children laugh at and disrespect adults who use wishy washy voices.

Try leading a class of cheeky 6 year olds yourself and see how much you can get done without ever using an authoritative voice. Good luck with that!

The teacher wasn’t imprecise and didn’t make a factual error. In pain and injured are not in any way the same thing (though injury may well cause pain). The child didn’t ask for clarification. He tried to tell the teacher she was wrong, and not ‘kindly’ either.
The instruction was to be quiet and not disturb the teacher. He didn’t do that, so it’s pretty clear the reason he was in trouble.

Do you seriously think that a teacher in an infant school screams at a child? Have you worked in an infant school?

The two posts to which I was responding say that the teacher is wrong, indeed a bastard, for asking for quiet.
And not even the OP says any screaming happened. Shouting after a child has realised their error (or at all really) isn’t good. But as I, and several others, have said - it’s entirely possible no shouting happened.

Primary teachers have said the same. Children perceive a telling off as shouted even when it isn’t.

I have a Sheldon type child.

The way we would handle this at home is to talk about how teachers are human and make mistakes. They say things that are imprecise. Sometimes they make factual errors when teaching. We have to learn when to say something and when not to say something. If she is confused, it is always ok to ask for clarification. If the teacher had made a mistake in a lesson, it is acceptable to kindly point that out because that is important. If she doesn’t need clarification though and it isn’t part of a lesson, she should wait.

Honestly, this kind of respect and conversation is the best way to communicate with her and the best way to get her to understand. Instead of telling her off, treating her like a person and explaining why will create a lasting change in behavior. Simply saying she did something wrong without explaining creates an adversarial situation, causes upset, and accomplishes nothing.

This kind of communication is critical for children like mine, but I honestly don’t understand why it isn’t the default for all children. Explaining why a behavior is a problem is much more useful than telling a child to stop.

@cardibach no one is saying the teacher can't ask for quite or silent working.

Its the screaming at a child and continuing to scream when they are crying saying they are sorry......... that's a real issue

Sounds like a miserable class where the teacher is struggling to control the kids.

@cardibach teens are very different from 6 year olds. Teens have agenda's 6 year olds are children barely in school yet. You're comparing Apples with Watermelons

It didn’t need saying out loud when the instruction was clear - don't disturb me unless it’s urgent. It wasn’t a question.

It’s a variation on ‘Don't disturb me unless it’s urgent, because I’m doing something that needs concentration’. The last bit had probably already been explained, that sounds like a final plea for good behaviour. I don’t see it as being a bastard to ask for quiet to help another pupil/group of pupils.
I mean, if it was so she could sit and have her cuppa in peace mid lesson you might have a point, but I’m fairly sure that’s not the case…