DS hating UK uni and feeling guilty for encouraging him to go

Has he had a look for a Russian society? He has to suck up feeling awkward and get stuck in.

it’s like starting school, you have to make the effort a bit. Friends don’t just appear.

if he really wants to drop out then fine but being in a different country with different people will always be a bit hard at first.

He should try to find the international student groups, it might be a bit easier to make friends with other who are feeling the same way

First few weeks and months of uni are hard, takes time. I was Northern english to London for uni and had the piss taken in a jokey friendly way of my accent for ages, its usually banter and is a good sign. It's the sense of humour.

Uni flatmates in 1st year are the ones you either get lucky with and are pals for life or that you have to endure til you choose your housemates in 2nd year. I had such loud and obnoxious flat mates in 1st year, one had a decks and blasted it all hours, smoked so constantly set alarm off ao whole building had to evac, got drunk and chucked stuff out the window. Randomly chewed up loads of biscuits then spat the wet biscuits out over the kitchen so by morning it was rock hard like cement. I'm 37 and still remember that prick 😂

Gist is, it takes time and it's early days for your son. Unis are full of international students with every accent under the sun so if he can try and shrug that self consciousness off it would help. And letting friendships develop naturally, it all comes. It is hard being away from home and family but he's in the transitional period, it's alsona good life lesson too that not everything is as you imagined or planned and how you adapt and cope is useful.

OP, leave it a little longer, but it may be that this university just isn't a great fit with your child. My daughter's former boyfriend chose a campus university and hated it. so dropped out at the start of term 2 and transferred. He is now in London and loving every minute of it.

Don't keep going just because you have sunk money and time into this - if he's unhappy, think about moving him to somewhere in the south so he can understand the accents better; maybe a university in a city (such as London) where there are a lot of students and so a bigger pool of people to pick friends from.

@Dailyster , I can relate to this very well. I was an international student in an English speaking country (not the UK) and that first year was very, very hard. The way people related to each other was very different and, in my opinion, quite superficial. I believed that most people were a lot more comfortable and adjusted than they were, in actuality, but they were a lot better at not showing it than I was.

I am Slavic and cultures are just different, it took me a while to find friends in the new place, but I eventually did and was very happy. Having other international people (other Slavs, Europeans, Latin Americans, in my case) to talk to helped a lot in my later years, even though I did not know many during my first year.

Good luck to your son! I would encourage him to stick it out for at least a semester.

re homesickness - what I did with mine was he had a webcam at the side of his desk.
I told him he could have it on all the time with me. We could talk as he did whatever.
As I suspected, he soon got tired of his mum "being there" all the time as it were! It became less and less that he did that.
Homesickness solved!

This is a very young person and British born in any case. He is also innocent, and he is not Putin.

As we are against Putin then there is all the more reason to take in young Russians, get to know them, show them how much better it is to live in a reasonable society like ours and share our rich cultural heritage.
Russia too has one of the greatest cultural heritages known. Maybe U.K. students might learn from him too one way or another.

OP please ignore nasty comments about your DS being Russian.

Not a good life lesson for the son. He is growing up, He needs to be resilient. He's a student. He's learning life lessons - and life is never easy. He needs to change his way of thinking and put on his "I can do this" hat.

This 100%.

I'm not embarrassed to think what the Russians are doing is wrong. Are the various sports bodies that don't let Russian athletes take part embarrassing themselves?

This is not true at all.
OP try and ignore idiotic comments such as this one.
FWIW, one of my DS's friends is Russian living in the UK. The friend and his sister (both young people one graduated and one currently studying) have lots of nice British friends and nobody in their circles has such an issue with them. In fact, my own DS didn't make any connection whatsoever to politics.
I hope your DS settles in a bit better and grows to enjoy his student days.

Not electing a war criminal with a massive majority. Protesting against your government. Not popping into Ukraine to kiil and rape civilians.

How is an 18 year old boy accountable in any way for the actions of Putin? Stop embarrassing yourself

This really isn't the thread for this. This is a kid. A kid who was born in Britain for that matter. Grow up.

And what does "standing up and being accountable" mean to you?

Fucks sake

Educate yourself

Give him time to adjust. All of the reason for hating it are normal for anyone who move to a different country. I can't see any reason I did not face when I move form a place to another.

I doubt it, lectures at Lancaster start next week.

For those mentioning Durham, it's not. Term starts 6th October.

I think I initially he needs to join more societies, particularly if he doesn't want to drink. He should use the societies to find something to do in the evenings even if they are activities he just fancies giving a try rather than being passionate about.

Why is it Racist? You can't invade other countries, commit evil war crimes, and then expect the world to treat your citizens like everyone else. If Russians want to be respected they need to step up and stop voting in a leader who commits atrocities.

He's British. He was born here and lived here until he was three.

Yeah, cos all Russians support Putin. Don’t be ridiculous.