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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel angrey after Holland Park School open morning?

289 replies

GentleMintCat · 20/09/2025 18:07

I’m viewing a few secondary schools at the moment. We’ve seen some private ones (sadly not an option unless DD gets a huge bursary). Yesterday I went to see Holland Park School — which has always felt like our safest option since we live very close — but came out devastated and rather angry.

Yes, the grounds are gorgeous, with a shiny, modern building, a new sports pitch, and spacious classrooms with lovely views over Holland Park. But the atmosphere? Absolutely grim. The classrooms were deadly quiet — no energy, no spark, no laughter, no questions, no enthusiasm.

Alright, I guess that’s fine in maths or English, but even in drama, music, and art… in art, the children were like in a traditional exam setting, sitting at their desks, copying a dull sketch from the screen in complete silence, while the teacher walked around peering over their shoulders. I couldn’t sense a shred of creativity, joy, or curiosity in that room. It felt almost like a military camp. Even the bell sounded like a fire alarm — the sort you see in American prisons in films.

When I asked students what they loved about the school, they couldn’t answer. I rephrased and asked what was one thing they were excited about coming to school, but they seemed unsure. What they were actually excited to talk about was “refocus rooms,” detention room, and punishments. They really wanted us to see the detention room which was on the ground floor, a dark space with heavy black curtains where you’re sent for forgetting your planner, doodling in a workbook, wearing the wrong colour socks, missing a part of your uniform, or being two minutes late. This lovely, polite girl said she had already been there twice this year - once for doodling because she got carried away 'in a boring lesson' and another for forgetting her planner, which they have to carry with them at all times.

I went in Soviet school and honestly, even they didn’t have detention rooms. If anyone misbehaved, they would do extra fitness classes or some do some gardening and cleaning for school grounds, and parents were called in. I’m not saying that was better by any means, but honestly — how the hell have we normalised this? What are we thinking as a society, treating children like inmates inside schools, and then acting shocked when they go wild on the streets after being in this prison-like environment all day long?

All I want is a normal, happy school for my child. Is that too much to ask? And do I have to pay £30k a year to avoid this 'military silence + constant detentions'? Is that what we call a good education in the 21st century? I couldn’t stop thinking: what kind of young people will come out of this school environment — happy, curious, caring, loving, creative, enthusiastic and empathetic?

OP posts:
TaborlinTheGreat · 20/09/2025 20:20

I’d hate my child to go to a place where they punish every little thing. My DD goes to a small independent school and you have to do something actually naughty to get a detention.

Yes, but what if you can't afford an independent school and your only choices are schools with appalling behaviour and terrible results and a school with draconian discipline, but well-behaved kids and great results?

GentleMintCat · 20/09/2025 20:19

XelaM · 20/09/2025 20:01

OP - my daughter's close friend had a horrible experience there. She was a lovely girl that my daughter was friends with through Pony Club. Really nice sweet girl in primary. She was constantly being put in detention/isolation at HP and ended up leaving school all together before GCSEs having got in with the wrong crowd. I don't think it's a nice place.

Edited

So sad. I’m glad she left the school. My DD is polite and well-behaved, has a sense of pride, and would absolutely be devastated being told off for small things or sent to detention. I don’t understand how people here tend to accept this shaming, punishment, and detention culture in schools and not seeing how it affects confidence, motivation, and overall behaviour. I’m absolutely not for tolerating disruptive behaviour though.

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 20/09/2025 20:18

Tbh, you’re not going to find many pre-teens/teens enthusiastic with school. It’s not ‘cool’ to be overly excited. And the detention room sounds like a lot of others. Sometimes detention rooms are used to calm children down too who have had meltdowns due to behavioural issues. Assume they are trying to adapt it to meet different scenarios.

Caterfly · 20/09/2025 20:17

Not every task, in every subject, every day can be designed to foster creativity. School is about far more than that.

Tiedbutchorestodo · 20/09/2025 20:16

I’d hate my child to go to a place where they punish every little thing. My DD goes to a small independent school and you have to do something actually naughty to get a detention. If you forget something, you just borrow it, if your uniform isn’t perfect you get reminded etc. Like it is in real life in the work place!

They have a more “working together as almost equals” type of ethos where the girls want to buy into their education and, in general, there is very very little bad behaviour.

I know it might be easier in a smaller school but I really believe if you trust kids to behave and treat them with respect then you’ll get that back.

FancyQuoter · 20/09/2025 20:15

MyLimeGuide · 20/09/2025 18:34

Sounds horrendous please don't send your kid there! Its nice to hear from a mum that wants creativity and enjoyment from a school also! I feel like most mumsnet mums would be happy with this strict setting for their children 😩

parents who bang on about "creativity and enjoyment" always have the worst bullies, disruptive pain in the neck children of the school 😂

Why is that?

Needmorelego · 20/09/2025 20:15

Sunholidays · 20/09/2025 19:03

I thought Holland Park School was a comprehensive school, not an academy.

The Kensington Academy is in Notting Hill.

It's a Comprehensive and part of the United Learning Academy Trust.
Academy doesn't mean selective.

Doubledenim305 · 20/09/2025 20:15

The plus side to ur account of that school is that there probably isn't much bullying and kids feel safe to be there? Also kids who want to get on and do really well in their GCSEs probably won't have every lesson wrecked by out of control kids who take over. Ok a bit dry and a bit dull, but maybe it's peaceful and calm.
Not saying it is, but just a thought.

Notjustabrunette · 20/09/2025 20:13

Keep looking and you’ll find the right school. My daughter has just started in 7 year and loves it so far. Have some really good lunch time and after school clubs too, which are free! I did visit a couple of schools and really didn’t like the vibe, despite them having excellent exam results and ofsted etc.

tachetastic · 20/09/2025 20:12

Is this school hugely oversubscribed and you’re trying to put other families off, @GentleMintCat ??? 😂😂😂

GentleMintCat · 20/09/2025 20:10

Animatic · 20/09/2025 19:53

You will find people get really antsy once you touch their "beloved" education systems whichever country/system you pick.

I agree with you re "detention for breathing wrong way" is too much and personally would stay as far as I could from this school.

BTW, you do not need to belong to CoFE to send your child there.

Edited

I saw a few CoFE schools and they seemed like more happier places, but when I checked how many offers were made last year, there were either zero or very few for different religions, and they were literally within 0.5 miles. I’ll try with the aptitude route, but of course, it’s not guaranteed.

OP posts:
Horsie · 20/09/2025 20:05

OP, you've probably seen this, but looks like you're on the money. In 2022, the school was downgraded to inadequate due to, among other things, serious concerns about safeguarding and inappropriate use of the isolation room.

You obviously had a visceral reaction against it, so just do your best to send your child elsewhere.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-61769951

I bet that building is like a greenhouse in the summer, too.

Miriabelle · 20/09/2025 20:03

This stuff is incredibly fashionable in the state sector at the moment, especially in some multi-academy trusts. It’s the Michaela influence and it’s like a punishment system meets Maoist behavioural reeducation. It’s also why we are shelling out an absolute fortune (even with a big bursary and scholarship!) to send DD to an independent school where the kids have a happy, normal, relaxed school atmosphere, good pastoral care and positive relationships with the staff. They don’t sweat the small stuff about minor uniform infractions and talking and so on and the kids are happy and well behaved.

The other reason we’re sending DD there is for the greater range of academic subjects — Latin, Greek, several modern languages to choose from, lots of music and art. All the kind of things that state schools, even good grammars, rarely offer any more (most especially, the Classical and modern languages).

It’s like you now have to pay a fucking arm and a leg just to get what was quite a normal educational environment in many state schools only thirty or forty years ago.

XelaM · 20/09/2025 20:01

OP - my daughter's close friend had a horrible experience there. She was a lovely girl that my daughter was friends with through Pony Club. Really nice sweet girl in primary. She was constantly being put in detention/isolation at HP and ended up leaving school all together before GCSEs having got in with the wrong crowd. I don't think it's a nice place.

deusexmacintosh · 20/09/2025 19:57

GentleMintCat · 20/09/2025 18:07

I’m viewing a few secondary schools at the moment. We’ve seen some private ones (sadly not an option unless DD gets a huge bursary). Yesterday I went to see Holland Park School — which has always felt like our safest option since we live very close — but came out devastated and rather angry.

Yes, the grounds are gorgeous, with a shiny, modern building, a new sports pitch, and spacious classrooms with lovely views over Holland Park. But the atmosphere? Absolutely grim. The classrooms were deadly quiet — no energy, no spark, no laughter, no questions, no enthusiasm.

Alright, I guess that’s fine in maths or English, but even in drama, music, and art… in art, the children were like in a traditional exam setting, sitting at their desks, copying a dull sketch from the screen in complete silence, while the teacher walked around peering over their shoulders. I couldn’t sense a shred of creativity, joy, or curiosity in that room. It felt almost like a military camp. Even the bell sounded like a fire alarm — the sort you see in American prisons in films.

When I asked students what they loved about the school, they couldn’t answer. I rephrased and asked what was one thing they were excited about coming to school, but they seemed unsure. What they were actually excited to talk about was “refocus rooms,” detention room, and punishments. They really wanted us to see the detention room which was on the ground floor, a dark space with heavy black curtains where you’re sent for forgetting your planner, doodling in a workbook, wearing the wrong colour socks, missing a part of your uniform, or being two minutes late. This lovely, polite girl said she had already been there twice this year - once for doodling because she got carried away 'in a boring lesson' and another for forgetting her planner, which they have to carry with them at all times.

I went in Soviet school and honestly, even they didn’t have detention rooms. If anyone misbehaved, they would do extra fitness classes or some do some gardening and cleaning for school grounds, and parents were called in. I’m not saying that was better by any means, but honestly — how the hell have we normalised this? What are we thinking as a society, treating children like inmates inside schools, and then acting shocked when they go wild on the streets after being in this prison-like environment all day long?

All I want is a normal, happy school for my child. Is that too much to ask? And do I have to pay £30k a year to avoid this 'military silence + constant detentions'? Is that what we call a good education in the 21st century? I couldn’t stop thinking: what kind of young people will come out of this school environment — happy, curious, caring, loving, creative, enthusiastic and empathetic?

Having grown up in Notting Hill, I'd warn you off that dump. Even now the kids are often violent and in trouble with local police, and it's not a great school overall.

If you're looking to place boys and are a Catholic, my older brother went to Cardinal Vaughan Memorial School in Holland Park. One of the best state schools in London. Almost every student in his year group went on to uni, mostly UCL/Imperial/top 20s, with 3 Oxford entries and 2 Cambridge. He had a fantastic time there, with great pastoral support.

For girls, at state level I'd recommend Camden School for Girls (my alma mater), Lady Margaret's, or Greycoat Hospital. My neighbour's daughter went to Harris Manchester Academy in St John's Wood, which has a high Russell Group/Oxbridge intake - she graduated from Cambridge earlier this year with a 1st class STEM BA.

JudgeJ · 20/09/2025 19:56

GentleMintCat · 20/09/2025 18:26

And do you really think having this dark detention room is normal? - this is exactly where I see the problem.

Surely the point if a punishment is that the recipient doesn't like it and decides not to be sent there again, job done.

Anewuser · 20/09/2025 19:56

If it’s not the right school for your child, then that’s fine. Just choose another one. But, be careful what you wish for. Creativity may be at a cost of behaviour. This week, I’ve had a chair thrown at me, been kicked and called a cunt. I’m not even a teacher.

PigglyWigglyOhYeah · 20/09/2025 19:56

Don't send your child there, then.

As a teacher, I would find it pretty upsetting for someone to pop up on Mumsnet slagging off my school after a brief visit. You don't like it...fine. no need to give it a huge Name and Shame post on a high traffic site, regularly trawled by the media. The school isn't doing anything wrong, just stuff you personally don't like. Teaching is hard enough without people moaning about schools they don't really know and have no intention of sending their kid to in the first place.

knitnerd90 · 20/09/2025 19:55

There's been multiple reports on Holland Park School and OP's visit matches the accusations.

Mildandcreamyricotta · 20/09/2025 19:55

dontdoitkatiekins · 20/09/2025 18:16

IME all academies are like this. It is really sad

Absolutely NOT the case at ours (single academy trust). Amazing school.

Animatic · 20/09/2025 19:53

You will find people get really antsy once you touch their "beloved" education systems whichever country/system you pick.

I agree with you re "detention for breathing wrong way" is too much and personally would stay as far as I could from this school.

BTW, you do not need to belong to CoFE to send your child there.

Silvertulips · 20/09/2025 19:49

They became normalised around the same time parents stopped backing the teachers, and started to complain about every little punishment Jeremy and Jemima got, no matter how bad their behaviour was

Absolutely

A darkened quiet room?

Yes Please!!!

bookworm14 · 20/09/2025 19:46

TaborlinTheGreat · 20/09/2025 19:37

There are a) schools where chaos reigns, b) schools which have imposed draconian measures to prevent chaos reigning, and c) schools which are not chaotic in the first place (usually due to their specific intake) and don't need draconian regimes. I'm lucky enough to teach in c) now, but I've taught in a) and can therefore well understand why lots people might prefer b) if a) and b) are their only choices. There are a lot of a) schools.

This is the bottom line I’m afraid. Quite often the alternative to this type of regime wouldn’t be a lovely relaxed, nurturing atmosphere; it would be chaos with no one able to learn.

TaborlinTheGreat · 20/09/2025 19:42

I'll add... if you or your child have real-life experience of an a) school, you might find that a b) school doesn't make you quite as angry and sad.

TaborlinTheGreat · 20/09/2025 19:37

There are a) schools where chaos reigns, b) schools which have imposed draconian measures to prevent chaos reigning, and c) schools which are not chaotic in the first place (usually due to their specific intake) and don't need draconian regimes. I'm lucky enough to teach in c) now, but I've taught in a) and can therefore well understand why lots people might prefer b) if a) and b) are their only choices. There are a lot of a) schools.