AIBU to feel angrey after Holland Park School open morning?

This is in Essex, so would be out of catchment. I did look at a whole variety of different types of school including grammar (which I a really didn’t like), one independent and 3 comprehensives. We were really lucky that the school my daughter really liked was within catchment.

Sadly this attitude to education is very fashionable at the moment. At least in London you have some choices. Our local rural secondary has this attitude of punishing kids for forgetting a planner (a day in isolation for a repeat offence) having shirt untucked etc. Didn’t seem to do much about actual learning in lessons and thankfully we’re just about able to afford private for a few years, and post-16 is much better. Many people are completely stuck with this model.

I agree, my DD’s independent school is like this - they don’t need to be strict with them because the kids are well behaved and motivated anyway, so beyond the odd lecture about skirt length or remembering kit they don’t actually have to be strict with them. If the girls are allowed a bit of makeup or some plain earrings or occasionally talk in the class it’s not a big deal because there’s no disruption or impediment to their learning.

The pupils genuinely seem to like the teachers, and there is no “reset room” or “refocus room” or list of “infractions” (in one United Learning academy we visited every room had a huge list of “infractions” written up on the wall with points for verbal and written warnings and so on. Even the polite kids get detentions so easily that they get cowed and discouraged. Whereas at DD’s school there are rarely any detentions or order marks because they just don’t behave badly enough!)

The Soviet Union ended December 1991. I was 10 when the Berlin Wall fell, I remember it.
So when did you go to school in Russia? And you are saying living in
West London is worse? At least you are free to choose here and complain to your heart’s content. Pick a different school if you don‘t like it. Or go to church if you must. Value what you do get within the system here. Nobody would force your DC to go there and most of us cannot afford 30k for private schooling. We make do. The good thing about London is that if you arm yourself with knowledge there are always educational options.

Isn't Holland Park the famous comprehensive where Labour politicians and famous people send their children so they can say they have had a state education, but they don't actually have to mix with the hoi poloi?
I guess this has something to do with the strange tone of this post.
The black curtains thing is extremely odd, by the poster, I mean.

This sounds like academy rules. I used to work in education welfare for a while and the academies sounded very much like this! Hopefully you view some more schools and find one that suits your family.

I recall my lecturers telling me that there was a common curriculum which was so strict that a child could be moved from one school to another and simply pick up from where the previous lesson left off.

This would obviously be slightly different in non-Russian speaking states, given that children were educated in their native language as well as being taught Russia. (I had an Azeri roommate who was scornful of the claim that the Soviet Union had gifted the Azeris an alphabet and literacy: Azeris had used an Arabic script prior to having Cyrillic imposed on them.)

Your reaction seems wildly disproportionate.

It wasn’t the one for you. Fine, move on.

That school is particularly crackers but this is what inner city schools are like-move to the burbs, because schools are gentler when most kids behave well basically. With tough catchments there isn’t much choice but have zero tolerance.

I attended three Russian unis in Soviet times. (Short course - one month; five months; three months.)

I recall being told that if there were behavioural problems at school, the child's parent might find himself being called in by his manager at work to ask what what was going on...

If things got really bad, said pupil might be removed from the mainstream state school completely. I guess things must now be very different in Russian schools.

Interesting — the secondary schools we saw which were like this (different area) were also part of United Learning!

I went to a secondary in a deprived area, very loud and rowdy. I recall the classes going silent though if we ever had any visitors come in. I still remember the OFSTED inspection, it was so strange how much quieter everyone was! Maybe you didn't get a true reflection of the school.

You'll find that parents often send their children to faith schools in the expectation that they'll be stricter.

The main Orthodox church in Edinburgh is in the process of trying to fund an Orthodox Christian primary school.

Well I think your instincts were right. It would have been a hell of a job to turn this culture around in such a short space of time.
My friend had moved to an academy as HoD to find all the teachers have been doing is reading off PowerPoint and kids just copy it all down into their books. The management are a nightmare and he has now had a breakdown. This is an outstanding school apparently.

In my experience (as a retired secondary teacher) children often do become very quiet when visitors are in.

I still remember the time an inspector came into my S3/Y10 class when we were analysing a snippet of film. My usually lively class became deathly quiet.

At one point I said "No need to be so nervous - I'm nervous enough for all of us!"

Nothing.

I asked "What do you think we're supposed to think of this character?"

Nothing. Not a single hand.

Then...one hand went up. Pamela. The "naughty" girl...but - God bless her - she was trying to help.

"Yes, Pamela?"

"Oh, her? She's a pure bitch that one!"

I saw the inspector repressing a smile.

@GentleMintCat I personally agree that some of the "soviet school punishments" sound better than having to sit in a dark room.
At my secondary (ordinary English Comprehensive in the 80s) a popular (with the teachers) punishment was litter picking at lunchtime.
Of course that was in the days when we had at least an hour for lunch unlike the ridiculous 20 minutes they seem to get these days.
You actually had time to eat, pee and go do your litter picking 😂
Another version of detention was having to help sort books in the library or tidy gym equipment.

My DC are at an academy (aren't virtually all schools these days?) and it's nothing like this. It's very nurturing, the teachers really love the kids, sadly too many kids don't really love to learn and there are punishments but not draconian and not for tiny things. My kids just got amazing GCSE results in a school where the results are generally low due to a low attainment area (white working class) because the teachers try their best for all students.

So not all academies, no.

But my point is that the girls at our school are well behaved and generally do conform / remember things without the overly firm discipline. They want to do well because they’re respected and valued as equals by their teachers. So on the odd occasion something is forgotten it’s not made into a big deal.

I don’t see why the firmness is needed - if you believe in the kids they’ll step up.

because decent parents teach their kids a bit of resilience and teach them to make the effort of having what they need and being on time.

We also don't believe that consequences are SHAMING anyone.

Being "devastated" because you get told off for being in the wrong?Wow, what kind of parents must they have to be so unprepared.

They can't be bothered to arrive on time in class? Then the consequence is detention, big deal Why should they be allowed to disrupt the class by turning up late for no reason?

My daughter's go to an Academy and it's nothing like this, they have wonderful, enthusiastic teachers, a fantastic drama/music department, the kids are celebrated constantly. My eldest is in yr11 and hasn't had a single detention, my yr9 also hasn't had one. The teachers know the kids so well and seem really dedicated. This is in a deprived area and is a small school (around 550 pupils). Keep looking, good schools are out there.

The turnover of teachers at Holland Park is enormous. It is an incredibly tough place to work and teachers tend to leave as soon as they can get a job elsewhere.

My DH worked there and hated it as said he felt like he was treated as an automaton, never mind the kids. Run!

I would absolutely hate this kind of permissive schools.

If you forget something, you just borrow it
from who? You are disturbing and taking the necessities from another child who DID make an effort to have his kit?

They forget their mouthguard at PE, they"borrow" one? Ridiculous.

if your uniform isn’t perfect you get reminded
what's the point of a uniform if you get "reminded" and never bother?

Like it is in real life in the work place!
if you "forget" a presentation or something important, you can get sacked. In real life...

And I speak as the mum of kids who are more interested in messing around and having fun than their schooling. It stil takes them less than 2mn every evening to go through their timetable and pack everything they need. Zero excuse for "forgetting" something.