AIBU to think a big reason to birth rate is falling is because mothers are made to feel they must do more for their children than in previous times?

Children from previous generations were able to succeed without constant parental involvement in school events, why is this expected now?

But it was so much easier to succeed back then. My job wanted a degree, no one in the management team had been to university. Then newer graduates were required to have specific degrees & from certain places.

If you want one have one. It's wonderful. You could have 20 kids and it'll have no impact on population levels. Do what's best for you and your family.

I think you either need to win the lottery, have a ‘village’ at your disposal or have family wealth in order to have children now. Two averaged waged parents with no available family isn’t going to cut it anymore.

My grandmothers had 10 children.
2 died as v young children - under 2 due to pneumonia, pre antibiotics.
7 male 1 female - you can guess which one was my mother

on my Dads side:
eldest married, no kids (his wife was one of 5, they had 3 girls and 2 boys between them);
next brother had 2 boys and a girl who had 3 girls and 2 boys between them;
then my Dad (just me);
youngest had 2 boys who have 5 girls between them.

on my mothers side:
eldest had 3 girls and a boy who have 3 girls and 2 boys between them;
next brother had one girl who had one boy and one girl.
next brother had one son who had a girl.
sister (mum) had me.

I haven't done the maths, but I'd say my rather weird relatives (going back about around 100yrs) are just about replacing themselves...

eta, some people have loads of kids, others choose not to.🤷‍♀️

However you dress it up, the main reason why the birthrate is falling is because women don't have to have children anymore.

When given a choice, not everyone does the same thing.

I agree it's a big factor. I have a few friends who've decided to stay childfree because they see how much is expected of parents and thought it wasn't worth it, they would be happier without the responsibility. They are in their 50s now, no regrets.

However, there are other reasons too such as more choices, and the cost. Although I tend to think cost is not a factor for starting a family, only limiting the number of children to 1 or 2. For people who do want kids, the drive is strong, hence the number of families on low incomes.

I do have 2 dc but didn't think I wanted children until I was around 30. No regrets for me but (despite having friends with kids etc) it's harder than I had imagined.

I do think it's good that childfree by choice is accepted now - at least it is in my circles - and maybe more genuine choice.

Main reason is finances and lack of support for working parents. Cost of living, rent, mortgages and bills are through the roof and when full time working couples earning decent wages are struggling to get by how can they afford to have children. Having children means eye watering childcare fees or one parent giving up work, changing jobs to suit childcare or reducing their hours. All options reduce their household income and in the current climate this is simply not an option if people want to keep a roof over their heads. The option of extended family, grandparents etc helping with childcare is also less likely as people are working longer with retirement age increasing and again the necessity to work as pensions are not enough to meet today’s living costs.

Believe me. Parents are expected to do more than homework and museums in 2025. The list is never ending if you have a child attending school. If you have more than one it's easy a second job.
I am happy to see our last child through school. University is expensive but ask very little of the parents.

I don't have the answer. Do you?

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I think the drop in birth rates is more to do with expectations- I grew up around a few big families so it was normal to me. But if all your friends have none or 1, you'll be the outlier having 4.

We have 4 and my husband regularly gets comments at work - "wow you've got your hands full" etc etc. You have to have thick skin!!

You can safely assume that it will mean something for you, your children and the cooperation between school and home if you choose to stay away from school arrangements.Your solution to fewer children being born is to encourage parents not to participate in for example school and leisure activities?How useful.

I could have written that 25 years ago when my first child was born, my DC have definitely had a lot more ferrying around, a lot more clubs and activities than I did as a child of the 70s and 80s
But I'm not sure if the younger mums at work do any activities with their DC than I did.
My young adult DC are concerned about getting on the housing ladder, the cost of childcare and the environment.
And maybe I made parenting look like hard work!

I think it's the expectations on women to be flying high in careers and independently financially stable before having a child. Couple that with the cost of living and there are many women who are at an age where it's difficult to conceive by the time they achieve that. If they do have a baby they're expected to return to full time work before the baby is one, for most people that is exhausting, so they don't feel able to have another. MN seems to have lots of women who manage to be financially independent and secure, conceive in their late 30s/40s and find working full time and parenting a breeze. Great for them, but I don't think that reflects the majority.

Get rid of the triple lock. Let my generation have some of the huge wealth the boomers have through property and amazing pensions. Then maybe we might have more kids. Instead of telling us to go back to the 70s!

I wasn’t expected to be in school often (my children are adults now) And even if I had been expected to, I wouldn’t have been there because I was at work. Things haven’t changed that much. But expectations have. We didn’t have much money, nearly everywhere I took mine was free. I didn’t feel compelled to make sure they had lots of out of school activities but some of their friends did. I think parents now are often far too worried about what other parents think of them.

@TheJoyOfWriting I think that poster means if a parent is more engaged in their dcs education & extracurriculars it's beneficial for the dc & puts them at an advantage.

Primary schools that often are very good result wise often have very involved & invested parents.

Apart from paying our pensions and there must be a way around that surely?

Immigration & higher taxes, not that popular though.

The birth rate has fallen before, it will go up again. It swings back and forth.

@LBFseBrom No country has ever reversed birth rates once they have fallen before replacement rate so why would you think that?

You can't make people want to breed.
I never wanted kids - I refused to have the rubella vaccination at middle school, as it was of little benefit to me.
If people want kids, they need to provide for them.
They need a home, food, clothes and toys...and LOVE.
Don't force people to have kids they don't really want.

I kind of disagree with this though. Most of my friends who have them have two and would kind of vaguely like 3 but only if they had a load more money but also kind of want their bodies and lives back anyway. So I think asking how many children people want is a bit random as it can change week to week. If I had all the money in the world I'd have 4 but v happy with 2.

Lots of third kids I know where whoops babies and now contraception is a bit better and people a bit older having kids this is maybe less likely now? So my parents planned for 2 and had 3 for example. Less likely to happen to us.

Out of interest why do you think it is better that people have more children?

Apart from paying our pensions and there must be a way around that surely?