AIBU to think a big reason to birth rate is falling is because mothers are made to feel they must do more for their children than in previous times?

Hmm my son in laws brother and his girlfriend just got given a council flat. No kids. Were in private rented before Both working full time

Why would it ever disappear? You mean with medical intervention, hormone suppression and the like? Because it won’t naturally disappear - evolutionary changes of that kind would probably take millions of years.

I also think a woman who doesn’t want children in her 20s can now change her mind and is in a better position to by her late 30s - and because of advances in health care / science, for some there is still a realistic chance they can have a healthy child at an ‘older’ age. Maybe an emerging trend for older first time mums and smaller families.
Or conversely, I think it’s more likely nowadays that a woman’s ’biological clock’ may only kick in later in life than in previous decades because of the wider range of life choices available to women / a lot more independence / but for some by then it is too late / not possible or practical for them to have children.
Men have also probably changed alot over the decades!

Of course I realise this. I've never in my life worked 9-5. But if someone says they have done a DAYS work yet can be at a school at 3.15 it doesn't add up. Doing a night shift the previous day doesn't count as there's been a rest period before trotting to the school

Before the 1960s there wasn't reliable contraception. If there had been, im sure small families would have existed prior to then when most people were poor and there wasn't a welfare state. Now, we are heading back that way but with the benefit of contraception. The ordinary family won't be able to afford to have children when both are needed to work and childcare is prohibitive. Maybe one if they are lucky.

Finland/Scandinavian is very safe for children and families but most young children are in care of the school until parents pick them up on the way home from work. Being a bit older it's normal to walk home.

In Finland municipal childcare costs vary from £30 to £300 for full-time care depending on family income and size and with lower fees for siblings.
This is as far as I know due to higher taxes than UK.

Finland's schools are considered excellent and globally renowned for their effectiveness although performance in international rankings like PISA has seen slight fluctuations in recent years.

There is a lot more choice now for women to do with their lives what they want - & less dependence on men for their futures.
But though I think people and life has changed so much since the 70s in lots of ways, I think it will take a long time, if ever, for the human biological urge to procreate to disappear, and that is ultimately what drives people to have children.

If you're put off having kids because you're scared of being judged or not being able to attend school stuff, then I think you have bigger issues.

I would suggest the biggest issues area finances and more awareness of choosing a decent partner.

Fwiw, I got more judgement for bf where I live, than the non bf mothers.
"Ooh, I couldn't do that. It's weird"
"My tits aren't for that. "

I’m one and done because my mental health took a nosedive after very poor treatment in the nhs. If the nhs wasn’t such a sexist institution then maybe women would have more children.

Isn't it 7% privately educated?
Most parents wouldn't get more money because of better state schools.

It would certainly help. I have put ds through independent senior school because the state school offered was dire. Even ofsted said it wasn't safe.
I couldn't afford to educate two dcs privately.

The only reason I did is due to DS's disability. Very little chance otherwise.

I think it's a combination of the insane cost of childcare, the need for two salaries to get by, and no village. We've stopped at one because we have zero help, and balancing that with two full time jobs is extremely stressful.

Women are blamed for literally every shitty decision their child makes its no wonder they dont want to deal with it anymore

Single mothers raise criminals is a headline

Abandoned children become criminals is not

Mom leaves children with father headline news dad leaves children with mother is not

Fuck that why should the one that stayed pay the price for everything wrong honestly my kids school apologised to me for my child being needlessly attacked saying the child in question was "troubled" i said let me guess single mother criminal father? They laughed and said well you know how it is with some families i said I certainly do as a single parent with an ex who has once again been arrested i can tell you not all children are like that

Pissed me right off the judgment of it all

Some parents just like to go to school events. At my school where I teach they are always asking for more.

I still don't see what breastfeeding has to do with birth rates!

Out of interest do you think your DS has a better childhood than you dis?

I ask as I think a lot of the "back in the good old days" posts don't actually sound that great to me. Yes playing out sounds great as does less pressure but also maybe a lot of bored, unfulfilled mums and kids who could have done with a bit more parenting.

I do make a conscious decision not to overschedule my kids or buy them lots of unnecessary stuff. However I also want to spend time with them, go to fun places and be involved in the school community. Whilst also having a nice life for myself with hobbies and friends and a career.

I stuck at just one child. I could have had another but I just didn’t enjoy being a mum enough to want a second. Plus, we would have needed a larger house and I just could not cope with the hassle of another pregnancy, the hideous expense of childcare and the boring baby stage etc. And there were so many other things I wanted to do other than drudgery.
I love DD more than anything in the world and I’m very glad I had her but nothing would have persuaded me to have a second. One and done.

It doesn't at all. I'm a teacher and hardly made it to any of these events. I got time off for the nativity if it didn't clash with an exam class, but nothing else. I'm sad to have missed things but it hasn't impacted on my daughter at all.

Fwiw I wish I'd had more children, but the reason I didn't was because I found the baby stage the 7th circle of hell and I couldn't face going through it again.

Things are a lot more expensive now and I think there's more expectation that DC do more or I expected my DS to be able to do more.

When I was young groceries were expensive but housing wasn't. Now it's both.

I didn't have clubs, holidays with the school, few family holidays, few new things outside of Christmas and my birthday and my DM never spent any time with me like trips for lunch or to the city to look around. My DS had it all because I was an anomaly even in my school.

I just didn't want them - nothing to do with any particular set of expectations - I didn't want the presence of a child in my life.

Women have to be sure they can support their dcs on their own because the family unit is not as stable as it was.
Most women have careers now, work full time, and that leaves little time for caring for dc.
I have one dc, a full time career and a home. Keeping all the plates spinning leaves little time for parenting dc properly. And financially I want ds to have an enjoyable childhood. That's expensive.