AIBU to think a big reason to birth rate is falling is because mothers are made to feel they must do more for their children than in previous times?

I can’t read the article. Don’t know what reason women give in the article but I never had children as I never married. And I never married because I never met anybody to marry. So that was that.

Article in this weeks Woman magazine..
https://www.zinio.com/gb/article/woman/10th-aug-2026-i703162/why-have-we-stopped-having-babies-a22

Can't remember what I said last time I posted on here.

But I bought a house,20ish years ago, at 26+ dh, which meant 4 years to plan for dc.

If you're still living at home/hmo at that age, everything gets pushed later. Then you either can't have them or have just got used to it being the way it is. I'm not the climate change stuff really resonates with most people; it's the way they're directly affected.

I think it's more acceptable just to not want them, too. Especially given the way many men behave. work with quite a few women younger than me. Only one is in a rship. The rest have decided that kids aren't for them. I'm coming back to an expensive age (uni) again.

I'm lucky to have great kids who don't cause me any problems, but I can't say I'm sad that they're nearly grown up. I'm not the maternal, self sacrificing type my mother was. I never wanted to be. But I think some women think they have to perfect to have kids. I adhered miss towards the 80s version.

agree with pp that managed decline of population is the best outcome for birth rates. As has been said by others there are so many overlapping reasons across all cultures, but pronatalist political stuff makes me deeply suspicious and honestly fearful as a child free woman. A lot of people advocating 'any means necessary' which yeah, doesn't feel safe. DH has had a vasectomy but I would honestly feel more secure getting sterilised myself to be completely sure

the sudden interest in birth rates from men seems to conveniently ignore the climate change situation - that no matter what we decided replacement rate is for X country the planet can barely sustain the total number of people we have.

For the western culture point, I love Abigail Porter (the girl with the list on tiktok/Instagram). People weren't real about motherhood until very recently and in the UK the NHS is always having another maternity scandal. That aside, it's just not what some women are choosing, and no measures could make us change our minds.

Had this discussion at work the other day (there's over 80 women where I work) and it seems to come down to money, childcare and social media l! A few colleagues said their families rallied around and cared for each others kids so they could work, and others said childcare was really cheap, could get term time jobs easily ect. I work full time but do shifts, as much as I need more money I can't do extra due to childcare, if I picked up a shift I'd get about £40 after nursery deductions, now what would be the point in that! Family work or I've offered to help my sister before but when I've asked in return 4 kids is just too much for her to handle, so then we have to use half term clubs when it comes to that. So many people on the media are just travelling, no time for men (plus it's so much easier to cheat these days) that they just aren't interested in settling down yet (these are people under 30).

Bravo x 100

This.

I was a child of the 1950s and my parents main preoccupation was in getting me out of the house and from "under their feet." We were not ferried around to activities because there were very few of them apart from cubs, guides and brownies. Children played together in groups (no artificial play dates) and were socialized by the group. We learned about following the rules, fairness and unfairness, waiting your turn, sharing and friendship. It was very rare for parents to intervene, Children were made to realise that it was adults who ruled the roost and the world was not made for their sole convenence. I can nerer remember my parents helping me with homework or making sure that I did it. However they did make me go to school. If I had refused I would have got a real whalloping from my father.

I think a major part is the planet has been fucked..Plus the leaders in the West can't work out the future for democracy, in the face of threats from China and Russia..at least that's how I'd feel if I was of child bearing age still.

Surely a managed decline is the healthy medium here.

The alternative being an ever expanding population. Young people are old themselves one day.

The issue is that an aging population means gerontocracy & lots of elderly people relying on a few younger people to support them w taxes, care etc Less young people also means less innovation.

Very sad, I can well believe this. The Charlize Theron film North Country is based on a horrific case of sexual harassment in 90s US mining, and I suspect many are similar, if less drastic.

I was actually speaking to a builder & Trump voter on Substack a while ago, he claimed that Trump's infamous 'pussy' comments were shrugged off by blue-collar workers bc 'we hear much worse every day' & 'lots of antisocial people in building'. He then tried to argue that women in building were just as bad by citing some woman he'd known who apparently deliberately exposed her knickers while at work.

It took some self control not to ask whether the 'antisocial' attitudes & 'banter' explained why so many women in trades complain of sexual harassment. (I wanted to stay polite to find out more about why people like him voted Trump)

Interestingly I was reading recently why Israel have a high birth rate, and, while there's a lot of reasons, an important one seems to be the child-friendly culture. Mothers feel happy to let small children walk to school, entertain themselves,, etc
However, the difference between Israel & similar Nordic countries is that there's much more of a cultural imperative to have children, Jewish traditions of Shabbat etc centre family etc

I can well believe this but also have to say one of the best gas engineers I had was also a woman! It is really sad to think so many can't do their jobs in peace.

Mumsnet reality again. How nice for you. Fact is most are men. I have personally had to escort girls who were trying out courses related to trades. The boys they were with were extremely hard to manage with their refusal, utter refusal, ro simply keep their hands to themselves. I remember similar treatment and have known other women reporting the same. Men can force women out of everything and have done so a number of times historically. I won’t work in schools now, I will not teach these male apes.
(sorry for late reply, was working. I normally let things slide but the mumsnet reality is so ridiculously at odds with everyone I know in this divided country now.)

Rude. Not sure personal insults are necessary.

Also, hardly a 'me problem'. The declining birthrate being evidence of that, fella.

Having kids just isn't a very appealing prosect. Also why create more mouths to feed? Totally unnecessary.

@WaryCrow Re trades, I live in social housing and by far the best gas engineer we have had attend is a woman

In addition, the idea of lower levels of human population being such an issue is a joke. When the global population drops to the point it was at just 100 years ago and is still falling there might be some legitimate concern. Until then it’s just right wing men wanting control over women and maybe over a population of serfs.

It’s a simple question of what’s in it for us and what’s in it for the kids.

Society puts women’s lives in opposition to kids - if a woman becomes a mother her work chances go down the drain, and god knows women’s work is restricted enough to start with. We are still having to fight past men , their sexism and sexuality, to get lucrative work in trades. Everything women have worked for, for decades, becomes a waste of effort. In the 90s and the 70s too, the idea was that everyone would be working part time as tech took over and men would support women more. It’s not happened. Austerity came instead to provide more luxury for the super rich, and guess who was forced to give up their jobs first, it wasn’t men. I believe this is why girls’ education results have suddenly gone down, certainly women’s continued low value and status is a topic of concern and depression in the local girls’ school. Why work harder and harder only to be knocked and kicked aside ever harder?

Equality has been shown to be something men simply are not capable of accepting. Again and again, at the least reason or justification men turn on women.

The unfortunate problem of having kids is that you either have to have a girl, a victim, or a boy, who will be a potential perpetrator. Which brings me onto the kids. Given the direction of Britain’s and the world’s politics, we’re losing democracy, becoming impoverished serfs, possibly going to war; climate change is happening and there are serious questions about the future of human survival in many parts of the world, including Europe if Atlantic circulation stops. Again, all known among local educated girls.

The question is not why women are having fewer babies but why anyone is still having them imo.

I think the cost of childcare is high in the UK. Add a mortgage on top of that and a lot of people can’t afford another child—not to mention plenty of people don’t have any immediate family close by or potentially even in the country to support them. I also think women often carry most of the burden of household chores, childcare etc while still juggling demanding jobs which leads to burnout. Obviously there are exceptions to this but it’s just not the world we were raised in when childcare and homes were more affordable for families.

Err I think men wouldn't be too willing to provide sperm under these circumstances!

It isn't just grandparents and grandchildren. When there are elderly people who need help, the first reaction of social workers et al is ''Don't you have any children?'' or ''How much help do you get from your children?''

That has to stop.

It is heartening to see that most of the posts are about the expense and practicalities of having a family, and not the increase in childhood diseases, including the comparatively new ND diagnoses.