To think most men are filthy losers

I know NAMALT. I think that goes without saying. But, it's a bit like saying "Well, let's not talk about racists because none of my friends are", or "My stepdad wasn't a pedo, so it's not true that children are more in danger of sexual assault from step-parents than anyone else"...

Of course, what we're saying on here is all anecdotal. We've not got the actual numbers on how many men are at home filming themselves knocking one out.

But I do think it's gone too far. I do think we, as women, aren't shouting about it loud enough.

I don't think that I've had particularly outrageous experiences. Well, one of them is absolutely unbelievable. But I think it's quite common. I can see from this site that men are causing some massive issues out there.

I wonder what studies and statistics are available.

Exactly. And the saddest thing is, I sometimes feel a bit of hope. I was talking to a guy online for a few weeks. I was too busy to meet up, but we were trying to make plans. He seemed pleasant. Some sort of electrical engineer, a lefty, bright, in a band, good-looking. I was feeling hopeful. And then, it started. What are you wearing? I like to imagine you... blah, blah, blah... and it put me off. I backed away from it all. He got in touch again recently and I just talked about the weather. I'm not having it. Be pleasant. Go for coffee. Talk about your hobbies, job, politics, put the world to rights a bit. Chat. See if you get on. DO that for a while, develop a bit of an emotional connection and see if you actually like each other AS PEOPLE. And then have great sex and come all over each other. What's the problem with that? Wouldn't everyone rather that? I think there's a good chance it is down to this testosterone business. I don't think a lot of men care WHO they're having sex with. Just that they're having it.

I think a few people are disagreeing, and that's great. Like I said, of course, NAMALT. I'm saying that most of them are. Not all. Most. And you're lucky if you've never met one. My exes, both long-term and short-term, include a teacher, a lecturer/author, a businessman, a firefighter, a carpenter, and a navy officer. Anyone they talked to would assume they were decent, hard-working men with mortgages, paying their taxes, bringing up their children, etc. But they can wear more than one hat. And one of those hats is the one they wear when they're wanking all over the show and filming themselves. Of course, masturbation is normal. That's not what I'm saying. And the men I was with didn't "pressure" me into having sex. But I'd know they were sulking when they weren't getting it. They were all too "woke" and "lefty" to actually put pressure on me. Most of them would have called themselves feminists in company, and yet, when it came down to it, not one of them really was.

:-( How awful.

It's depressing. I'd like to think there are some good ones. If my DD is that way inclined, I hope she finds one. It just seems to me that the whole situation is getting worse. I know I'm not making any original comments here, but I felt the need to vent this evening. Out of the men I know, most would cheat, or have cheated, I reckon. I bet they're all regular porn users. More than one ex has wanted to hit me at some point. I've been lucky enough not to experience domestic violence, though. They've all lied to me - the men I've dated. All of them. I've been in two long-term relationships and several short-term relationships, and I've seen it all. I was with a man who went to a music festival the day my mum died and who I later found out had beaten his first wife. I was with one who used to go to those porn video shops and wank in a cubicle. I left him, for a different reason, and he financially abandoned me, leaving me with a house to pay for on my own. It took me years to track him down. I was stuck in a mortgage. I was with one who, when I finished with him, spent three years stalking me, and it still continues. It has been and still is the biggest problem I've ever had to face in my life. It's terrifying. I was with one who I finished with and who called me the week before he was going to get married to ask if I wanted to have sex. I was with one for six months who went all-in and love-bombed me before telling me I was too fat. I've been ghosted by men. One of my good friends gets drunk every now and again and calls me to tell me it should have always been me he was with. He's done this in BOTH of his marriages. To the mothers of his two children. I have a neighbour who told me he had feelings for me and when I didn't reciprocate, he screamed at me in the street the next day. SCREAMED. They're just the ones of the top of my head.

I screenshotted it as evidence. There's an upcoming court case for harassment. Or at least, I hope there will be. On this sex site, he wrote how he was looking for fat, blonde, mature women. That's what I am. So, I've been gathering evidence. When I told my lawyer about it, she ignored it. So, there's a good chance it's of no use at all. I have plenty of other stuff, though. Anyway, I don't want to get into all that. The man is awful on every level.

I think women are very lucky if they've never encountered a porn-addicted man.

Also, my standards have always been fairly high. I think. My exes have been professional - teachers, lecturers, business execs - upstanding citizen types. But they've all sulked if sex was off the table for whatever reason. A few of them have been into weird stuff. Some of them have come back to me to try it on when they're in new relationships. The men on online dating sites are awful. I've only ever actually met one of them. We ended up dating for a few months, but he was just so immature. 38 going on 17.

I wasn't trying to start an original thread. Hasn't everything already been done on Mumsnet? It's all much of a muchness. We just go through something and try to garner support from people online. That's all this is, isn't it?

And yes, I AM man-bashing. I really am. And I make no apologies for it. They need to sort themselves out.