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Original poster

To think most men are filthy losers

818 replies

fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 18:05

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

OP posts:
Original poster
fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 22:12

Shinysunday · 07/09/2025 22:03

You've had a lot of bad experiences OP but many men are not like this at all. Perhaps you know some of them but don't notice that they behave well because you are tuned in to the sleazy ones?

I think I have had bad experiences, yes. I don't go for sleazy men, though. I'm not "into" bad boys. I go for men who seem bright, motivated, kind, funny, and who align with me in terms of politics/ethics. I can accept that I may not have been lucky.

I don't accept what Nostylequeen said. I know who I am. And I think I'm decent enough. But this is an open forum, so I've to expect it.

My grandfather was an excellent man. And I have three excellent male friends who are lovely, lovely people. It's not all bad out there. I know that.

OP posts:
brunettemic · 07/09/2025 22:06

YABU to think that about most men. It’s the opposite of my entire life experience.

jbm16 · 07/09/2025 22:04

Whatabeautifulmorning · 07/09/2025 21:59

YANBU OP. Sad to see all the replies trying to guilt trip you for feeling that way. I wonder if they are men or just very male-centric women.

Don't think many posts are trying to guilt trip her, however these kind of post are so depressing and indicative of this site,'most' men are not like this, she clearly is commenting from her own perspective which seems to include harassment, but trying to label most men is not helpful.

Shinysunday · 07/09/2025 22:03

You've had a lot of bad experiences OP but many men are not like this at all. Perhaps you know some of them but don't notice that they behave well because you are tuned in to the sleazy ones?

TrishM80 · 07/09/2025 22:01

Why don't you just form a women's only island, OP?

Whatabeautifulmorning · 07/09/2025 21:59

YANBU OP. Sad to see all the replies trying to guilt trip you for feeling that way. I wonder if they are men or just very male-centric women.

Cosyautumnperson · 07/09/2025 21:53

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That’s really unkind.

Original poster
fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 21:49

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Yes, I have wondered that. Thanks for pointing it out. It could, of course, be me. I probably did something to deserve being stalked for three years.

OP posts:
Original poster
fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 21:47

mumofoneAloneandwell · 07/09/2025 21:41

'Most men are filthy losers'

You had me at the title - looking forward to this thread 😄🥰

Ha ha! I know. I made myself laugh when I read it back. I can't remember thinking too much about the title. I was on one. But I was right!

There's one writing to me just now as I speak. On FB. I'm telling him all about my day at a charity event yesterday. Let's see how long he sticks around. I bet he doesn't even reply. I've made it all sound far too wholesome. I've also told him I've joined a feminist circle in the local town. That should see him off.

OP posts:
Nostylequeen · 07/09/2025 21:46

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JadedVeryJaded · 07/09/2025 21:43

NoThanksNeeded · 07/09/2025 18:22

You Googled your ex and one of the first things that came up was him wanking on a webcam?

My thoughts as well

mumofoneAloneandwell · 07/09/2025 21:41

'Most men are filthy losers'

You had me at the title - looking forward to this thread 😄🥰

Dis Gonna Be Good Jason Momoa GIF
u3ername · 07/09/2025 21:40

Something very trivial, but today a man (middle aged, overweight) was walking opposite me on the pavement when I was jogging uphill, out of breath. He would've walked on top of me if I hadn’t moved to the side. He had plenty of space and time to move but didn’t. And he looked annoyed when I made him way.
It’s just intimidating.

Cosyautumnperson · 07/09/2025 21:30

I’m torn really, although the thread title did make me laugh.

I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with a man just to shut him up. But then I probably had a very high sex drive throughout my 20s and my dh, I don’t think he has a very high sex drive. He seems quite happy with once a week, we are in our 40s. Not sure what’s normal, I’d probably like to have it a bit more at times. I can’t say he’s ever pestered me for sex. It’s usually me making innuendos, perhaps I am the pest?

Touch wood I don’t get men bothering me, think I’m pretty invisible now.

However, when I was younger I got a lot of sexual harassment from men so based on that I’d say that there are a lot of creepy men out there.

Original poster
fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 21:27

Muffinmam · 07/09/2025 21:14

”How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.”

Yes, pretty much every time I have sex it’s so I can have a brief reprieve until his sulking starts again.

I used to be so in love with him but he has been abusive and manipulative so now I just fake that I’m content.

For years I wanted the security and the companionship of being in a relationship. Now I’m here I can understand why women prefer being single. All of the years I spent worrying about being rejected and not wanted by men was such an utter waste of my time.

It makes sense that women are the ones that most often instigate divorce. The thought of dealing with the mood swings, the silent treatment, the rages, the drama, the annoying interruptions and demands for attention just absolutely exhaust me!! Then there are his revolving attention seeking farts and his mind games!!

I’m sick of being prodded, grabbed and touched. I now go and sit on the stairs just to get away from him. If I go upstairs to the bedroom he demands I come back downstairs - so sitting on the stairs is a happy medium for me.

I’m in perimenopause right now - but I think I would feel this way regardless. I just want quiet. I want to be left alone.

I want you to find peace and leave him as soon as you can. I am so sorry you're having to put up with this. Is there someone you can talk to? I think you should start planning your exit. I think you can do it. I really do. Go and sit on your own staircase somewhere. Or in your own lounge. Imagine that. It can be done. You can do it. Start taking steps to free yourself.

OP posts:
Nextdoormat · 07/09/2025 21:26

@Muffinmam please leave your life is worth so much more than this.💕

QuickMember · 07/09/2025 21:23

You have every right to be angry but all people can be horrible in different ways and to different extents. I hope you can process all you feel and find the words to articulate to your daughter without scaring her.

Portakalkedi · 07/09/2025 21:18

I met my lovely DH via online dating 25 years ago, but can't imagine doing so nowadays, sadly.

Muffinmam · 07/09/2025 21:14

”How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.”

Yes, pretty much every time I have sex it’s so I can have a brief reprieve until his sulking starts again.

I used to be so in love with him but he has been abusive and manipulative so now I just fake that I’m content.

For years I wanted the security and the companionship of being in a relationship. Now I’m here I can understand why women prefer being single. All of the years I spent worrying about being rejected and not wanted by men was such an utter waste of my time.

It makes sense that women are the ones that most often instigate divorce. The thought of dealing with the mood swings, the silent treatment, the rages, the drama, the annoying interruptions and demands for attention just absolutely exhaust me!! Then there are his revolving attention seeking farts and his mind games!!

I’m sick of being prodded, grabbed and touched. I now go and sit on the stairs just to get away from him. If I go upstairs to the bedroom he demands I come back downstairs - so sitting on the stairs is a happy medium for me.

I’m in perimenopause right now - but I think I would feel this way regardless. I just want quiet. I want to be left alone.

Original poster
fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 21:11

jbm16 · 07/09/2025 20:57

If it's for a court case for harassment then I would argue it's pretty extreme, especially if you are having to go on sites to take screenshots!

I'm sure there are some men who like this kind on thing, but to suggest most is a massive over exaggeration in my opinion, honest wouldn't know anyone doing this kind of thing, but perhaps it's an age thing.

Show quote history

Oh, yes. My ex is definitely extreme. He's terrible. What he's done to me and is continuing to do to me is terrible. Most men are thankfully not like him. But it was the sheer number of men that were on the site I looked at. And I only spent a bit of time looking. Because it was bad. But how many sites are out there? Who's making all these OnlyFans girls rich? It's one of the biggest industries in the world, isn't it? It's incredible. And I don't think it's natural. I don't think we're supposed to be filming ourselves wanking online. I don't think we're supposed to be fucking animals and choking people and Christ knows what else goes on on these sites. We need to take a long, hard look at what we're becoming as a species. It's not right. Why can't they just have a quiet little wank when nobody's around? Like the rest of us?

OP posts:
Rainbowchicken · 07/09/2025 21:09

I totally agree with you. Not all, but more than half I would think. I do think maybe what's happening is that with online dating, social media and porn - the behaviour that was once mostly hidden, is now very visible and to some extent, expected and/or acceptable. It's horrible and frightening.

frenella · 07/09/2025 21:09

I dont think you should use the term "screen-shotted" when discussing men filming a wank lololol 😆

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 07/09/2025 21:07

100% agree.
That’s why I will never touch another man or give one houseroom.

coxesorangepippin · 07/09/2025 21:04

I agree with the op

They are most sex obsessed morons

jbm16 · 07/09/2025 20:57

fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 20:50

I know NAMALT. I think that goes without saying. But, it's a bit like saying "Well, let's not talk about racists because none of my friends are", or "My stepdad wasn't a pedo, so it's not true that children are more in danger of sexual assault from step-parents than anyone else"...

Of course, what we're saying on here is all anecdotal. We've not got the actual numbers on how many men are at home filming themselves knocking one out.

But I do think it's gone too far. I do think we, as women, aren't shouting about it loud enough.

I don't think that I've had particularly outrageous experiences. Well, one of them is absolutely unbelievable. But I think it's quite common. I can see from this site that men are causing some massive issues out there.

I wonder what studies and statistics are available.

If it's for a court case for harassment then I would argue it's pretty extreme, especially if you are having to go on sites to take screenshots!

I'm sure there are some men who like this kind on thing, but to suggest most is a massive over exaggeration in my opinion, honest wouldn't know anyone doing this kind of thing, but perhaps it's an age thing.