To think most men are filthy losers

Not all men OP. the ones that are like that are disgusting, filthy pigs. But I know many that aren't. Put your ex in the past where he belongs

We don't have a sympathy button so I'm using the "love" button to send love. You are not alone and I hope things improve for you soon. Social media can be a cesspit but I've learned so much from women who have come out of terrible relationships and situations on youtube.I hope there are people in rl and online you can get support from.

Not really, but thank you so much x

For many of us, it is far from a 'small' experience. Some of us have been assaulted, raped, abused, gaslit, humiliated...many more are murdered. It does cloud the judgement yes, but I firmly maintain that with a huge amount of men, you really don't know what they are thinking, particularly when it comes to sex. I can't even get through a day at work without one of them - mainly married or living with someone - saying they are horny or making some comment about a woman's body. Then they go home to their wives. The man who assaulted me and many others is still married as his wife doesn't believe the women who accused him. I am happy for you that you seem to have found some good ones. I don't trust any of them anymore sadly.

I am sure you are. You must be so "proud" at promoting such flagrant sexism and misandry. Your anti-men stance speaks volumes about the sort of person you seem to be.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope things are better for you now!

It is terrifying. The guy I fell in love with changed literally overnight into someone I didn't recognise. Like Jekyll and Hyde. Extreme example but look at Ted Bundy too - helping on a suicide hotline, killing women in his spare time.

Honestly, I do not believe it is possible to ever completely know. I think that goes for anyone - we can never really know another person. I also hate the pressure that puts on women who end up being abused or hurt by men. I will always refer folks to the Gisele Pelicot case.

Yes you're absolutely right. I think if we can use our instincts we maybe know which ones are totally decent. I hope so anyway although my radar is now completely feked.

I think you are being rational. My criticism is for the "Not All Men" crowd. The evidence shows it is a lot of men and we do not know which ones. That is terrifying. Even if we have good men, if we can look outside of ourselves we can understand why it is logical to be wary.

For many of us, it is far from a 'small' experience. Some of us have been assaulted, raped, abused, gaslit, humiliated...many more are murdered. It does cloud the judgement yes, but I firmly maintain that with a huge amount of men, you really don't know what they are thinking, particularly when it comes to sex. I can't even get through a day at work without one of them - mainly married or living with someone - saying they are horny or making some comment about a woman's body. Then they go home to their wives. The man who assaulted me and many others is still married as his wife doesn't believe the women who accused him. I am happy for you that you seem to have found some good ones. I don't trust any of them anymore sadly.

I mean anyone with any awareness of what is happening throughout the world must see their small experience with men doesn’t speak for all men. Do these people think it is misandry if we mention the treatment of women currently in Afghanistan? Do they think it is misandry to point out that so many normal men were happy to rape a 70-odd year old woman in France? Is it misandry to point out that there are forums full of men sharing how they rape women? I’m half convinced there is none so blind as those who won’t see and what they hope to achieve by it.

You're very lucky that you seem to be surrounded by decent men. Not everyone has that experience. I most certainly don't. I'm sorry but you do seem a bit naive. Just because she used the term filthy losers doesn't mean she hates all men. It's my experience too that the majority of them are, and certainly have the capacity to be absolutely sex mad, women degrading, mysogynists - out of the ear shot of their wives and girlfriends.

I sincerely hope you have decent men in your life. You're one of the lucky ones if you do. x

I am sure you are. You must be so "proud" at promoting such flagrant sexism and misandry. Your anti-men stance speaks volumes about the sort of person you seem to be.

I often wonder about a world in which women openly expressing sexual desire weren't subject to social shame (at best) and physical danger from men (at worst), but instead encouraged and slapped on the back for it. And where men were routinely shamed for their sexual desire from adolescence onward, and then placed in potential physical danger for it as adults.

I've never been convinced that the male sex drive is all that alien to the female one. Men simply tend to have been encouraged to show it off and to be entitled to it.

In my experience women will open up about all sorts of "filthy" sexual desires (I say that in a positive way) if they feel they're in a safe space to do so. And on the flipside I've known men who've had weird religious upbringings that seem to have shamed all the sexuality out of them, in a way I recognise as more common in women.

I also think the very vocal MN demographic of women who clearly dislike and disapprove of sex and sexual desire generally is a very peculiar minority. It's striking that these threads about sex never really touch on what women DO want - just what they don't want.

I think if there was a way to conduct a sound, peer-reviewed scientific test with stratified samples, whatever that means, the proportion of men who are filthy losers wouldn't be a lot different from the proportion of women who are filthy losers.

I'm just catching up with all this. I'm quite glad I used the words "filthy losers" now. It's provoked a lot of debate.

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but there are ways to automatically erase the search history. My ex used Google in Incognito mode to hide his vile porn searches. Only a moron even stupider than him would do that in the regular browser mode where you could find it. So because you found nothing doesn't mean there's nothing to find.
Stats show almost all men use porn or have used porn at some point, so that means so-called "good" men do/have in the past as well.
What my moronic pornsick ex didn't know (even though he works in tech😆) was that sometimes the cache makes a record of sites used in Incognito mode.
Anyway, the point is to not take it for granted that you have a good man. I thought I did too. He was using sick porn the whole 30+ years and cheating for at least five of them that I know of. Maybe some of you do have a genuinely good one, and if so, I'm happy for you.

This thread has gone off topic.

Thie thread appears to have strayed into side snipes at other posters (ego wars) as well as use of porn, the ethics and degrees of porn.

To bring this thread back in line with title, the mooted topic is the suggestion that "Most Men Are Filthy Losers".

For what it is worth, men (and women) are more than one thing. As a sum of parts and emotions, behaviour is fluid and responsive to situations. Most men have the potential to be filthy losers (could have a further post about that definition). Some act on that, some do not. It is complex and true for some posters, whilst also being not true for others because our lives are shaped by our lived experience.

Some may recall I had a cleaning job where the 70yr+ client sent me an inappropriate text about wanking, lube and when called out, he said it was intended as a joke, then changed mind and said wasnt intended for me. I thknk his behaviour was that of a filthy loser in that instance. I dont work for him anymore. So some men can be filthy losers. You choose your response.

HTH
LemonLass