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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this idea of feminism has been totally misinterpreted?

38 replies

Goonie1 · 27/08/2025 10:25

Moved from chat for more traffic.

What does the term feminism mean to you?
I ask because in a conversation at work yesterday (with a male) he said it goes so far as meaning not offering physical help to females (eg heavy lifting, physically demanding chores) even if they look like they might need help or indeed ask for help. If they’re a feminist, they shouldn’t want male help was the line of thought.

To me that’s just madness! If I saw someone less physically able, male or female, I’d help them because it’s the right thing to do. Feminism doesn’t even come into it!
Needless to say, I have a very different idea of what feminism is compared to this guy and in my opinion, he needs to learn what feminism really stands for.

OP posts:
Sunwarddangledhardens · 27/08/2025 10:53

When did we lose sight of the phrase "equal but different"?

CopperWhite · 27/08/2025 10:52

Feminism is a lot of different things to different people.

This guy’s idea of feminism is a particularly strange one, but there’s the possibility that he’s tried to help a woman before and caused offence.

GetToHeaven · 27/08/2025 10:47

It’s like when men immediately jump to “feminism means I should be able to hit a woman”. Just gross.

GCAcademic · 27/08/2025 10:46

Your colleague has chosen to interpret feminism in a way that conveniences him.

Iwasphotoframed · 27/08/2025 10:43

Feminism to me attempts to rebalance the almost universal cultures where men are treated preferentially in society largely due to their ability as a group to maintain physical dominance and other more subtle methods of control which they use to tie women into subservient roles in society.

Going unchecked historically that culture meant violence against women, rape, emotional, physical and psychological abuse of women and children in society were ubiquitous and went largely unchecked.

Feminism is the many, many ways by which women have attempted to use their voice to over turn these cultural norms.

Original poster
Goonie1 · 27/08/2025 10:39

I’m glad to see these replies as I genuinely thought I was going mad when speaking about it and actually questioned whether I had got it completely wrong. Note to self, trust your own opinions more!

OP posts:
TheaBrandt1 · 27/08/2025 10:35

Pretty much all the have a go hero’s lauded by judges are women now.

Remember reading a case where a motorist saw a young girl being attacked pulled over grabbed the girl. He then went on to kill someone else. Motorist got a personal commendation for saving the girls life. The plaudits in the comments section “well done sir” - motorist was a middle aged mum.

ChickenThigh · 27/08/2025 10:32

Lots of men (and women) twist feminism way beyond what it actually is in order to discredit women.

The only current strain of feminism that is largely accepted is the one that says men can be women, men need porn, sex work is empowering etc. ie it’s the feminism that centres and benefits men. Funny that.

RuthandPen · 27/08/2025 10:31

You work with a misogynist. I wouldn't give his 'ideas' about anything from feminism to the state of the nation a second thought.

FourEyesGood · 27/08/2025 10:29

Helping people in need (whether they’re male or female) is just the decent thing to do. Your colleague is a dick.

araiwa · 27/08/2025 10:28

Feminism is as useless a term as dress sizes

It varies so much depending on who you ask or where you shop making both useless

PestoHoliday · 27/08/2025 10:28

Your work colleague is an idiot

Agix · 27/08/2025 10:28

Lol that's not feminism. That's just him being misogynistic - that's assuming he would offer help to another man who he saw struggling. Maybe he wouldn't, and he's not misogynistic, just a total dick.

Although still misogynistic because he is blaming his aversion to helping women in particular on feminism. So yeah.

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