Mild autism

My son was diagnosed (by the NHS) quite young - I think 4. At the time he had lots of "deficits" - couldn't talk, rejected socialising with other children, couldn't follow instruction, still in nappies etc.
He is at 14 (with a lot of input) doing amazingly well. Talks beautifully, main stream school for secondary, been removed from the SEN list - still gets extra time, has lots of friendships, is a delight at home (funny, loving, well-behaved, helps out) and swimming/badminton has improved his coordination no end.
He is still autistic. There are processing delays, mild sensory issues, extreme interests (which I mostly see as a plus) and perhaps a slight lack of interest in social norms (again mostly a plus as he is not influenced by peer pressure). I have high hopes that he will lead a happy and fulfilling life with quality relationships and few impairments. Does that mean his autism is mild? That he doesn't have autism any more (just traits).

I am autistic and ADHD. I was diagnosed with Autism at 23, and ADHD this year at 30.

you wouldn’t know I was autistic/ADHD. I am capable of holding down jobs, running a home, having relationships. I can maintain eye contact and actually like it because I crave intimacy and connection with others.

but speak to me for 5 minutes, notice my stims, how I do things, my over explanation and constant anxiety you’d know. Absolutely. Being able to read Harry Potter at 3 years old and telling you every dinosaur and ancient Egyptian god at 4, you’d know. Just because I am social and otherwise look “normal” doesn’t make me any less autistic or ADHD. I struggle massively and I have masked my whole life to seem “normal” because of the severe bullying that led to self harm as a teenager and severe anxiety and depression in adulthood.

everyone is so different. People would say my autism is “mild” but my obsessions can take over my life. I have been exhausted my whole life because of how I am. It’s not “mild”.

My son has severe autism detailed on his diagnosis report but this was from before the changes to what was included in the autism diagnosis. I use the term severe autism and so does our gp. This isn't to offend anyone it's just an easy and quick way to describe how he is because just saying autism nowadays doesn't really do that. I can see things like pip including something similar with the recent discussions on the increase in claims and the Timms review.

I have noticed that services for people like him now are gradually using learning disability rather than autism. I guess this is to distingush who the services are for too.

I don't think people who say mild are trying to hurt or offend even if it does, I think they are just trying to communicate something which is now difficult as autism means so many different things.

I'd like there to be different diagnoses again and i'm quite hopeful that this will happen as it seems to be a theme and is already kind of happening just not officially.

Woah! Having a child with autism does not give you the right to diagnose others. People seek a diagnosis when they feel something isn't right. Sometimes, just have a diagnosis helps people to understand why they/their children may feel a bit different to others and behave differently.

I appreciate, OP, that autism is hereditry (sp?) and that you may well have ASD too, which might explain your lack of empathy, and I do not wish to see you get a hard time but please just try to think this through from others' perspectives.

Sure, I'm not questioning anyone's specific diagnosis, but AFAIK (and I may be out of date) ICD-11 still seems more commonly used. I am glad neither of my 2 have levels.

My daughter was diagnosed as Aspergers type autism in 2021 at the age of 5 and we were advised that the diagnosis terms were changing and that it would be interchangeable with level 1 autism. This was Scotland.

I was diagnosed here in the UK in 2024 or early 2025, by an expert in so-called AuDHD, and had a "levelled" diagnosis. No idea why and didn't think to query it - it's not as though I had others' diagnoses as a comparator.

I've seen people on Reddit say they're sometimes a level 1 and the next week a 2. Unlike those of us who for example are classes as blind or partially sighted, levels generally don't make sense

I do think what is level 3 does need a different diagnosis

yes I'm pleased that this level business doesn't seem to be catching on here.

It’s controversial, but there are experts who now think that the diagnostic criteria, and indeed the spectrum itself, is now so broad that autism as a diagnosis is not particularly helpful or meaningful. In girls and women in particular, the diagnostic criteria have had to be amended so significantly that it’s essentially an entirely different condition being diagnosed than 20-30 years ago.

Separately, I think people find it really hard to get their heads around the internal struggle people who present as coping perfectly well might have, or to understand what makes the struggle different in autistic people than in people who, say, struggle with social situations or need routine, for reasons other than autism.

But the levels don't help that much because we don't fall into neat little boxes

(Level 3 is the profound, non verbal, etc end)

Yanbu, this drives me mad. Calling somebody who would have been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome "mildly autistic" is like calling someone who needs to lose 10+ stone "mildly overweight" and saying they can only be classed as obese if they are too wide to get through their front door.

I think when we had 'aspergers' people understood what that meant. My first year teaching i had a pupil with aspergers and a 'severely autistic child' (that was how they referred to at the time). Both children had significant issues but one will go onto 'cope' the other will need 100% care for life.
To be diagnosed is to be acknowledged that you have real.struggles above and beyond what most kids have.
Ive recently started noticing american posts on other SM using level 1 autism, level 2.... i dont know what each signifies but it seems they use to easily distinguish between .

That's not masking. No one is mentally drained or exhausted from not having to tell toilet jokes all day. No one ends up having an autistic burnout (or in old money 'nervous breakdown') because they couldn't tell toilet jokes all day. Honestly you're really showing your ignorance here.

I hate these fucking ASD threads they are never positive or informative in any way, just full of crap and nastiness.

There are people in my family who have what could be deemed autistic traits, certain sensory aversions, needs for routine, some social challenges…. But the key point is, they aren’t disabled by them. They are able to build into their life measures to support these things. To me, someone diagnosed autistic is going to struggle to make adaptations in this same way.

My son attends a specialist school, he is what would be called “level 3 - non verbal, learning disability, significant care needs.” However, I see and talk to the parents of children who are verbal, able to use toilet, able to access curriculum - they have many challenges too, in some ways their struggles are more complex than mine. So I am never trying to minimise their experience and say mine is somehow more real because my son is “more profound.”

I really think we need to distinguish between autistic traits which many of us can have, and being autistic which isn’t a label it is a medical diagnosis.

Yes but often people mask all day and then are completely drained by the end of the day and fall apart at home - or eventually just completely burn out. I'm so sorry that you've been treated so badly but you can't punish other autistic people because of that.

DS is high functioning, is/was very bright, always did very well academically and up until yr 5 or 6 appeared pretty sociable. He was diagnosed by an NHS autistic specialist paediatrician in around 45 minutes aged 10 despite his report from school making him sound like the perfect student. His assessor predicted he would struggle hugely at Secondary school and sadly he spent every lunch and break time alone for the whole 7 years.

Autism doesn't make you antisocial, that is a very stereotypical view - many people with ASD want to have friends, and many do. Many are also very academic. The triad of impairment has NOTHING to do with how many friends you have are or how academic you are.

Not sure why you think you're better placed than the parents to decide it their child is autistic - after all you say your own child might not appear autistic on first meeting. I also have no idea who all these parents are that are saying their kid has mild undiagnosed asd - are you actually just talking about 1 specific poster?

This completely underplays what typical masking actually is. But then, you claim you do not or can not do it yourself, so it can't be expected that you actually comprehend what masking is, what it involves, and the mental anguish it causes.

How then do you suggest differentiating between the kind of autism my dd has (fully verbal, incredibly clever, plays 7 musical instruments, lives independently) to my friends son (non verbal, violent, 2 carers to leave the house)? My dd definitely is autistic, was diagnosed at 2 at the same time as my friends son, except at 4 my dd developed speech, he didn’t, she masks (being female i suspect is a factor) he doesn’t

This is a pretty outrageous stance. "If a child's disability doesn't inconvenience people we should ignore it".

Imagine having the confidence to think your unsubstantiated opinions is more valid than the cumulated expertise of clinicians and people with lived experience of a disability.

Disagree with your last point. It is completely normal for humans to adjust their behaviour to fit in with others and the expectations of society. For example, someone who loves telling toilet jokes would have to 'mask' in social situations when it would be inappropriate to tell such jokes. This doesn't make them ND.

Personally I think that anyone who can 'mask' just isn't autistic at all

Good grief.

If you can mask your behaviours to an extent that you appear normal to everyone and not even a tiny bit weird, then I think you're fine.

Couldn't possibly just be that -

Autism doesn't have a single presentation

It is hurtful to those of us who have not been able to 'mask' and have lived a life of social exclusion, rejection and humiliation as a result

So what would you have people who mask do then? Stop it and go full meltdown/dysfunction in order to spare your feelings?

The fact you are acknowledging masking behaviour in the first place contradicts your assertion these people are not, in fact, autistic. If they are not masking, and they are just neurotypical people going about their normal behaviours, then there is absolutely no basis for you being aggrieved at them.

Personally I think that anyone who can 'mask' just isn't autistic at all. If you can mask your behaviours to an extent that you appear normal to everyone and not even a tiny bit weird, then I think you're fine. It is hurtful to those of us who have not been able to 'mask' and have lived a life of social exclusion, rejection and humiliation as a result.

Well, my dd is autistic, and getting her diagnosis was made significantly harder by the fact she "got on fine at school" (according to the school). She didn't, she was highly anxious and exhausted from the effort of trying to be "good" and meet teacher's expectations, often very distressed but trying to hide it, and melting down outside school at the prospect of going back to that environment.

The fact that a dc can hold things together for a few hours is not proof they don't have autism. The fact that a dc isn't causing a management problem for their teacher isn't proof that they don't need an assessment. Autism doesn't have a single presentation, and it's classically girls who's nd needs are overlooked.

My experience of having an assessment was that it was very thorough, including a psychologist going into school to do observations. I think, if a dc met the bar for a diagnosis, they have autism.

I think you can deduce, I have 2 autistic relatives in my family, both school aged children. One is non verbal and other traits too, other is verbal, just not great socially, eye contact etc. I know which one one can say is mild. If we have finite resources (which we do) I know which one I would class as needing more of those resources.