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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

882 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
ConfusedSloth · 11/08/2025 18:43

I wouldn't even consider this as petty. You want there to be toilet roll and oil when you arrive. You've bought toilet roll and oil. You know, unless you lock them up, they won't be there next time. So, you're putting your items away.

"We just want to ensure that there's oil/toilet roll/whatever when we arrive next time". Don't use a combination lock - use a keyed padlock. Otherwise they'll ask you for the combination.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 11/08/2025 18:43

viques · 11/08/2025 18:41

I would leave any left over milk in the carton if I knew they were arriving the same day. Though I might accidentally leave it out of the fridge in direct sunlight…….🙂

Great! That would make the tea curdle .

ThatCyanSheep · 11/08/2025 18:42

It's annoying, but if you know this always happens, why not just take oil etc with you?

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:42

My comment above was to @PamIsAVolleyballChamp

OP posts:
user9064385631 · 11/08/2025 18:42

Team Petty!
love the 3 tea bag plan. I’d suggest no loo roll at all, but leave the empty cardboard roll on the hanger…hate meanness!

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:42

I know, and when I explained DS1 in particular has a giant hot chocolate most evenings, she actually got a bit huffy, like this wasn't in the spirit of things. Very fucking puzzling.

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · 11/08/2025 18:42

Then you say “yeah we do consume so much more, and we used it all this time, no time to replenish” and as others have said, leave some very basic stuff, a few t bags, a splash of milk, so they’ll have to go shopping

BaronessBomburst · 11/08/2025 18:42

Team Petty.
3 tea bags and less than half a loo roll.

viques · 11/08/2025 18:41

SirBasil · 11/08/2025 18:21

one teabag is the level of petty PA that i could get behind.

And a loo roll that is down to the last 2 squares that are stuck to the cardboard tube. And a tiny splash of milk in a carton. And nothing. And never ever speak of it.

I would leave any left over milk in the carton if I knew they were arriving the same day. Though I might accidentally leave it out of the fridge in direct sunlight…….🙂

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 11/08/2025 18:41

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:39

I'm almost certain if we suggested a kitty or some other sharing set up, SIL would say 'oh but you're a family of four and you eat soooo much more than us' (she once commented with shocked face on my teenage boys' milk consumption when we shared the space - ignoring that 1. we provided said milk (of course) and 2. THEY'RE TEENAGE BOYS

That is petty! How DARE you and your family consume stuff you bought!!

AffIt · 11/08/2025 18:40

Whoever came up with the idea of three teabags is a genius. 😁

CornishTiger · 11/08/2025 18:39

Although 3 is generous. I’d have left one.

dutchyoriginal · 11/08/2025 18:39

wimonnzy · 11/08/2025 18:13

I could play games with this. One dishwasher tab, one washing gel tab, a bit of salt n pepper, the end of a bag of pasta and a few sheets on a toilet roll, use your imagination. Just enough to keep them from saying you were MEAN, when in fact it is they that are tight.

Have fun!

This. 1/4 loo roll, 2 dishwasher tabs, pasta for one.... Don't tell them why immediately, just go "oops, best to do a big shop before you arrive..."

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:39

I'm almost certain if we suggested a kitty or some other sharing set up, SIL would say 'oh but you're a family of four and you eat soooo much more than us' (she once commented with shocked face on my teenage boys' milk consumption when we shared the space - ignoring that 1. we provided said milk (of course) and 2. THEY'RE TEENAGE BOYS

OP posts:
Butteredtoast55 · 11/08/2025 18:39

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

Same here!

YesTonightJosephine · 11/08/2025 18:39

I would take EVERYTHING!

CFs!

If they replaced everything then fine but no I am with you OP!

I would not even leave it in a locked suitcase ...

outerspacepotato · 11/08/2025 18:39

Take the stuff you buy with you. If they leave you with no tp or spices or food items, match their energy and spending.

Why should you be funding their household items and food when they leave you guys with zip?

dudsville · 11/08/2025 18:39

My view is to not leave anything, or to put it in the locked suitcase. Why leave a small amount knowing it will just be used? If you leave nothing, and plan to bring what you need, then you won't be irritated by others.

MyDeftDuck · 11/08/2025 18:38

Can you source an empty box and just leave one dishwasher tablet and very little salt? Also, can you make sure the other cleaning materials and non-perishables have very little left in them. Their constant comments about not using ice wouldn’t sit right with me tbh…….don't mind helping someone once or twice but when they start taking the piss…….different matter altogether

chatgptsbestmate · 11/08/2025 18:38

Leave a quarter of a loo roll
2 tea bags
A teaspoon of olive oil
Take the rest home with you
Go high, my fanny 🙄🤣

CornishTiger · 11/08/2025 18:38

EscapeTheCastle · 11/08/2025 18:21

I would leave 3 teabags. Then in the morning one of them would have to go without.
Or would 5 be better? Then you can be really "innocent" if they bring it up.

This!!!

hmmimnotsurewhy · 11/08/2025 18:38

Team petty. Definitely leave 3 so one of them is going to be so pissed off making the next one 😅
or leave 4 but rip a tiny tear in one.
CF- I hate tight people. Hate them

Jk987 · 11/08/2025 18:38

Leave the basics and message them to tell them you didn’t stock up like you normally do and confirm that’s the plan going forward unless you both want to change.

tommyhoundmum · 11/08/2025 18:37

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

This, but maybe take the rest home with you don't leave it behind.

Bobbybobbins · 11/08/2025 18:37

Leave a bit and this will really piss them off. If yet raise it, they have more front than Blackpool 😆

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