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AIBU?

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To lock up all our food etc when we leave

906 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
Cyclingmummy1 · 11/08/2025 19:06

I'd leave 1 or 3, in the boxes so it looks like you've not noticed it's about to run out, half a roll of toilet paper, etc, etc.

And I'd take everything else home in a box, ready for next time.

It's definitely a case of leave it as you find it 😉

Lifeislove · 11/08/2025 19:05

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

2 is the perfect number.
And loo roll 1/4 full or less.
Coffee granules , 3 tsp. Pods x 2.
Salt/ Pepper leave as is.
Oil? Mmmm I'm thinking 3cm?
Dishwasher tabs def 1.
Nothing else.
I really hate stingy people so give them a taste of their own medicine. Petty? Maybe but if this is ongoing it would drive me nuts. It's so inconsiderate too.

SockFluffInTheBath · 11/08/2025 19:03

I second the idea of a lidded plastic tub you can take the remains home in and fill ready for your trips. You’re not hosting her, you don’t need to provide for her.

MzHz · 11/08/2025 19:03

And in future, being polite with these revolting people @ChangerMonNom is getting you nowhere

be clear. “SIL/BIL, in the past, as mentioned previously the deal on using this property is that out of courtesy you leave enough basic supplies for the next person, milk, eggs, toilet paper etc and this is for good reason, as you can now fully appreciate. You’ve chosen to be stingy and this means the rules change. Bring what you need with you or arrive to nothing. As we have a million bloody times. Annoying isn’t it?”

Wexone · 11/08/2025 19:03

I would. we have similar in family holiday home. what's even worse is that my bil and sil can't even be bothered to empty the fridge when they leave. it could be a few weeks between people's visit (they don't bother cleaning either- I arrange that - another story won't go there ) and often have to clean it after gone off fruit and veg and milk. they often leave stupid fancy food that no one eats - you know stuff that comes in Xmas hampers. the shop is a 10 mins walk down the road or the supermarket is a 15 min drive. lock it all up to ensure they don't eat it. they will learn their lesson

RandomUsernameHere · 11/08/2025 19:02

YANBU, do it and don’t leave a single thing out, not even one loo roll!

Moveoverdarlin · 11/08/2025 19:02

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

This is what I would do. Locking it away in the actual house seems a bit odd and petty but taking it home seems a bit more justified.

Flossflower · 11/08/2025 19:02

Yes, I would be petty but I really don’t understand how you can carry on sharing a cottage with people who are this mean.

pestowithwalnuts · 11/08/2025 19:01

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

Maybe leave three...and a torn one.

BlankBlankBlank14 · 11/08/2025 19:01

WhatsApp in the family group

heads up SIL, er used the last of the oil and loo roll, it’s really annoying arriving and not having the essentials so thought I’d let you know.

Followed by after SIL has been, hi SIL are any essentials needed before we get there tomorrow, always good to know.

pestowithwalnuts · 11/08/2025 18:59

Izzy24 · 11/08/2025 18:12

Yes this. Means they can’t all your stuff and also can’t complain that there was nothing left.

I'd leave a couple of dishwasher tablets ..leave what's left of the toilet roll and don't replace it with a full one.
Leave any milk but don't leave a full one.
My level of pettiness would be raging but then I am going through the menopuse

Lilywc · 11/08/2025 18:59

Yeah I’d leave just the basics as someone suggested
they really should be bringing their own supplies x

Maray1967 · 11/08/2025 18:58

I would leave the condiments but I’d take the tea bags, loo roll etc. Basically I’d force her to provide those.

MzHz · 11/08/2025 18:58

I’ve had late arrivals at airbnbs where the host KNEW I’d be late and nothing at all was left. I was raging!! She’d even asked and said she’d leave us bits and pieces and in the past I’d had bread/milk etc so at least there is breakfast on morning 1.

if this was family, no fucking way would I let this continue. Do it @ChangerMonNom and ignore ANY comms from the in-laws on the subject.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 11/08/2025 18:57

I'd definitely lock it all up.
More out of curiosity than anything.

No. I'm lying. I'd do it so I could dance the dance of a thousand I told you so's at my husband when she kicked off about it and thus confirmed how entitled she is.

Willyoujust · 11/08/2025 18:57

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

I know it’s a pain but I would put everything like that in a big plastic tub and put it in the boot of my car and take it home. Then it is all there ready to put back in my car the next time I go. That is what we do for our campervan and it works well.

It is not just the money but the cognitive load of having to keep remembering to buy all of those things each time you go. If you have them all together ready, it makes it easy and takes away the stress. Milk you can just stop off on the way to grab a bottle.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/08/2025 18:57

Definitely do it! TBH though I might take the suitcase home, in case they got suspicious and ‘by mistake’ ha ha broke into it…
Leaving you with no loo roll would really be the last straw for me - having once arrived at a holiday let with 2 loos and no paper - when I was bursting!

Hankunamatata · 11/08/2025 18:57

Take all the toilet roll.
Im petty

Callipygion · 11/08/2025 18:56

I’d wait till I got a toilet roll with just a bit left on it and keep that to leave them and take the rest home. Sod them, I would be leaving them no more than was left for you!

IHateEmptyPockets · 11/08/2025 18:56

SutekhsEars · 11/08/2025 18:45

I'd leave one teabag between the two of them! 😆

Used, squeezed out and left out to dry and reuse Wink

MounjaroMounjaro · 11/08/2025 18:55

Honestly, I'd just have a box of stuff that I put in the car and take away with me when I leave. I'd never do that normally, but this sort of thing really riles me.

OneMoreProfiterole · 11/08/2025 18:55

She needs to be told you’re not fucking Tesco and get her own stuff. Would DH be as willing to let it go if it was your sister?

MzHz · 11/08/2025 18:54

Team petty. All the way.

Hankunamatata · 11/08/2025 18:54

The arriving to nothing like has happened to you would drive me insane. Its so selfish of the pair of them

Id be tempted to have a locked cupboard.

LoveItaly · 11/08/2025 18:54

Just leave the place as you found it, that’s what I’d do.

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