To lock up all our food etc when we leave

I like the idea of the care pack

lock the rest away.

As it’s two of them going up, I’d leave a single tea bag, four sheets of loo roll, a single squeeze worth of toothpaste in the tube, one ice cube in the freezer. Just enough for one, to cause them to bicker and realise what a pain they cause when they do this to OP.

I think a family conversation is needed about the realities of what needs to always be “in stock” in the cottage when any occupant is leaving, so that whoever the next occupant arriving knows there is a basic level of things to expect on arrival. Involving everyone who uses the house, and agreeing things like levels of cleaning and also things like who does relevant maintenance jobs (painting windows and doors, soffits and fascia’s, clearing gutters, cutting back hedges …) or if there is a shared kitty or way to deal with unexpected things like a roof tile off in a storm or a leaking pipe or whatever might need a professional to fix in a hurry to prevent further damage.

And I think you also need to stop being so nice when they arrive as you leave. Yes leave it clean, but run down what’s there to “expected norms” and don’t go buying fresh things for them.

I wouldn’t lock it away because I think it would just offer an opening for an argument, but I’d pack it all up and bring it home with me.

They’re taking the piss and deserve to have a tasting of the same courtesy they extend to you.

Agree with you.
I believe the "don't be petty crew" are CF's whom don't wish to be called out.

My friend recently refused to pet watch her SIL's pet when they were having a staycation at home.
Her SIL thought it was very petty that she wouldn't do it when they live relatively close by, would be at home, and it wouldn't take long.
Her in laws all have form for being low level CF's.

SIL most unwisely put her "disappointment" up on the family WhatsApp.
Other in laws thought it wise to comment negatively, and my friend has now cancelled the December 25th holiday at her house.

They back tracked with alarcity but this is her line in the sand. December is completely off, they can all holiday elsewhere.

She's more than happy at the excuse as his family stay too long and it has bugged her over the last couple of years...she's an incredible cook and host.

She has told her husband she will be going to her parents house but he is most welcome to host if he wants.
Her husband is like a rabbit in the lifhts as he knows she is very serious.
She has been looking for an excuse and this is a godsend.
Her inlaws are now furious with her SIL for posting a "private matter" on the family WhatsApp group and causing such an "upset" and a "conclusion".

You couldn't make it up.
This has been a complete gift to her.
She won't be for turning.

I love her updates. I am Team Petty all the way.

Not if they pretend to have just run out of it all and not replaced it.

Locking things up is obviously going to cause hassle.

If it's that much of an issue, tell them that you're sick of turning up to empty cupboards and suggest an annual fund for sundries that you all contribute to proportionately.

Even better.

Make up a little (and I mean little) care package in a basket... that's what we get when we've been to Air BnBs.. enough for a night and next day until you can get to the shops. I think it would look generous and thoughtful... but also it would really get her goat..
If any "queries" arrive.. "Oh we realised we were constantly bringing far more than we needed and it was getting so expensive we decided to just bring the essentials this time... didn't you get the care package we left for you? We didn't want you to arrive and find nothing in stock.. its so depressing when that happens."

Sorry I know that's a bit petty Ha Ha.

Seriously I’d leave no tea bags, oil, loo roll, coffee - message them and let them know you ran out of lots of stuff so they’ll need to get a shop in.

I haven’t read any responses so I might be repeating but so as not to be petty, I would leave some oil and salt and two squares of loo roll😂

It doesn't matter who has more money or time it's just tight and unkind for your SIL to take anything when she leaves unless it's in the fridge and will go off. I couldn't have let her get away with repeatedly nicking the toilet rolls all this time Op but revenge is a dish best served cold - leave her the dregs and enjoy waiting for her reaction

I would just take all the toilet roll and when she complains say, "We left seven rolls the last time we were there, and there were none when we arrived this time, so the amount we brought with us wasn't sufficient to leave any behind. We went through it all just as you did when you used up the 7 rolls we left there last time.

Leave one so the tight arses can share it.

But the kitty is for stuff that would be used per stay: Dishwasher Tabs; maybe sugar; oil; other cleaning supplies.

What you find with people like that, is that they will help themselves to a few tabs to take home to make sure they get their value worth! She probably doesn’t consume “hardly anything” at all.

I don’t think you should be petty though. I think you should have a direct but non-accusatory conversation.

I think I shared a flat with the OP's SiL when I was a student..... there were three of us and A and I realised after a while that only the two of us ever bought loo roll.... we had to walk down the high street past the supermarket to get home from our classes, so there was no question of going out of our way to do a supermarket shop..... it was on our way home..... after a while we hid our multi-pack of loo-rolls in the airing cupboard. C found them eventually and accused us of being mean, but the point was made and she started occasionally buying supplies.

Definitely lock everything up! They’re CFs.

Team Petty here - I would leave two sheets on the toilet roll and put the roll back the wrong way!

I’d leave it. Next time pack less and leave less.

I would consider Airbnb.. Make some money and less availability for cf sil...

I think I'd do this. Just enough for a night.. until they get the hint.

I'd be packing the whole lot and taking it home with me! 😆 Let her know what it's like to arrive and find there's nothing in and have to go out and do a shop straight away.

Alternatively, leave a teabag in the jar, leave the last few sheets on the toilet roll (and I mean a 'few') and the dregs of milk in a carton. It's not as if she can complain, you've provided it, you've only used what is yours. She shouldn't expect you to stock up ready for her visit. Just smile and have your excuses ready 'Sorry, didn't get chance to do another shop! Ran out of time!' 😁 Try and do it all under the radar; is your husband likely to go around and check there are enough supplies left for them? If not, just don't draw any attention to the items you're 'running out of'.

@ChangerMonNom absolutely lock stuff up! Leave a couple of teabags, one dishwasher tab, 1/12th of a toilet roll (enough for a couple of wipes each).

I’d leave a bit - think starter pack eg 1 loo roll, a few tea bags etc. personally I’d not leave food locked in a suitcase as you risk encouraging mice. Take it home & start afresh on your next visit. Such a shame those boys eat you out of house & home.

Yeah she is clearly doing it on purpose.

Lock away almost everything. Keep back a few bits that are nearly used up to leave out so there is e.g. half a loo roll, some dregs of oil, two teabags etc. so there is nothing obviously missing and enough for someone arriving late at night but nothing more. Unopened or full stuff in your case.

Then it won't look deliberate.

Don't forget the small bathroom details like hand soap, shampoo, shower gel, whatever. Palmolive soap is excellent for this purpose, because it holds together until there's only a tiny sliver left which collapses if you try to use it. And some pump-action shampoos/shower gels can be sabotaged by the removal of the screw on tubes and their replacement with something just a little bit shorter. Or you can just trim half an inch off the ends off the originals.