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AIBU?

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To lock up all our food etc when we leave

906 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
GrooveArmada · 11/08/2025 20:23

Topsyturvy78 · 11/08/2025 20:23

I would leave 1 in the caddy just to piss them off even more.🤣🤣🤣

Yep, exactly what I said, you're my kind of person 😂

Topsyturvy78 · 11/08/2025 20:23

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

I would leave 1 in the caddy just to piss them off even more.🤣🤣🤣

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 11/08/2025 20:23

I'd leave loads of generously sized but completely boring and useless ( for a short holiday) stuff like a sack of flour (but absolutely no other baking goods) in the kitchen, some ant spray, a tin of semolina and a bar of coal tar soap. Leave plenty of empty boxes though - tin foil, gravy, crackers, coffee, but with nothing in. No TOILET ROLL, TEA BAGS OR MILK!

PeppermintPatty10 · 11/08/2025 20:22

Everyone saying 'petty' - it's not petty! The cost of these items really adds up especially if buying rom scratch every time (whole boxes of dishwasher tablets, six packs of loo roll, new packet of coffee etc etc). Twice in a holiday, if I've understood correctly - to stock the cupboards on arrival, and again the fresh items when you leave!

Not to mention the time and effort it takes to lug these things from the shops.

Definitely pack them away when you leave, OP, and don't mention it to them! Please come back and tell us what happens.

GrooveArmada · 11/08/2025 20:22

On reflection, OP, I'd leave one teabag and one spoon of coffee, no sugar, one toilet roll and enough washing up liquid for one plate (or one dishwasher tablet). Just so, you know, they have to go to the shop 😂

You might notice they will buy their own stuff and take it back home - in which case this will set a precedent and you can simply do the same. Nobody will be funding each other.

itbemay1 · 11/08/2025 20:22

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

I’d do this

CrispieCake · 11/08/2025 20:21

I'd be tempted to leave one of everything (and some quite nice things too 😂) - one teabag, one mini bottle of wine, one fancy biscuit, one chocolate bar, one coffee pod.

So they have to fight it out over who gets what 😂.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 11/08/2025 20:20

Of course you should do it. They go there regularly, they have to option to lock their own stuff up too, so they won't lose out. Apart from on taking advantage of your freebies, obviously. If you are absolutely sure that things like dishwasher tablets and kitchen roll has all been supplied by you then definitely don't feel bad about locking it away. If she says anything just say 'yeah, we are economising. Bringing stuff from home in the car rather than having two of everything, and decided not to make it communal any more as whenever we arrive there's nothing left and we have to rebuy it anyway. Probably better this way, everyone knows where they stand and what to expect.'

Ratafia · 11/08/2025 20:19

I think the "Don't be petty/Take the high ground" bus left a long time ago. OP has been taking that line for a long time and SIL is not reciprocating in any way. She needs to learn and leaving minimal supplies is a great way to make that happen. If she doesn't, leave zero supplies next time.

Zoec1975 · 11/08/2025 20:19

Do it,why should you pay for everything all the time,it’s not being petty at all,they barely ever think about leaving you stuff,don’t worry about it,they may even stock up for you next time.x

BlankBlankBlank14 · 11/08/2025 20:18

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2025 20:15

You guys need to work on petty…

A lockable clear storage tote in plain site…now that’s petty.

Edit:🤣 tote not toe!

Edited

Where is that laughing emoji???

Topsyturvy78 · 11/08/2025 20:18

I wouldn't be leaving anything and can't believe you've let it go on for so long. Is there a cupboard you can lock what you have bought away? If not as PP has said I would take the suitcase home with you.

MYBO · 11/08/2025 20:17

I would lock away everything!

mummytrex · 11/08/2025 20:17

The reason you arrive to bare cupboards is because they likely take what is left home with them. It's the only logical explanation. Put it in your suitcase and don't give it a second thought.

FrangipaniBlue · 11/08/2025 20:16

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2025 20:15

You guys need to work on petty…

A lockable clear storage tote in plain site…now that’s petty.

Edit:🤣 tote not toe!

Edited

You are my evil genius heroine 🤣

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2025 20:15

You guys need to work on petty…

A lockable clear storage tote in plain site…now that’s petty.

Edit:🤣 tote not toe!

To lock up all our food etc when we leave
MoveOverToTheSea · 11/08/2025 20:15

mondaytosunday · 11/08/2025 18:11

I’d think leaving the bare minimum would be fine. Locking up what’s already there does seem petty, but if they repeatedly take advantage then do it!

Yep.
Going behind that idea too.

Less obviously petty. It just so happens that you had very little left.
Plus I suspect they take their own stuff back anyway (eg it would very VERY surprising that they had just used the whole bottle of oil to the last drop, all the toilet paper etc… just as tgey are ready to leave)

SeaToSki · 11/08/2025 20:14

Does SIL leave the place clean and tidy when she leaves?

Is she a CF with her effort as well as her cash?

I am Team Petty except I think it should be renamed

Team FAFO fuck around and find out!

FortheloveofCheesus · 11/08/2025 20:12

I would leave half a roll of loo roll and a bit or milk but would pack away anything else that would keep.

I can't stand tight people who are happy to constantly take and never give.

NotAnotherPylon · 11/08/2025 20:12

I would be very kind and leave them an extra spicy curry.

And no bog roll …

Then update us.

SpinnyDinos456 · 11/08/2025 20:11

I would say absolutely nothing. DH's family is like this and there is no conversation that would make them wise up to it.

Take almost everything away so it's not too obvious you are making a point. I'd leave 3 squares on the toilet roll. One teabag. One, maybe 2 dishwasher tablets. One half drunk carton of milk. Etc.

If you take everything, they will start WW3. Make it inconvenient enough.

MeridianB · 11/08/2025 20:11

She sounds like a total pain. Enjoy every moment of your strategic tidying’.

And leave three teabags, not two. So they can have a debate about who gets the ‘last’ cup.

lemonraspberry · 11/08/2025 20:09

Removing everything is too obvious. Leave the bare minimum (as they use sooo little) & take the rest home. With you OP as someone who has a tight sibling who gives the bare minimum.

1 toilet roll
1 dishwasher tab
2 teabags
dribble of oil
1 egg

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 11/08/2025 20:09

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

This. Let them wonder if it was passive-aggressive move or if you simply ran out of everything. 😒

rainbowlou · 11/08/2025 20:08

I’d lock it all away and text in advance to say they’ll need to stop off to get supplies on their way.
I’d also be tempted to say you didn’t buy much in this time because you always have surplus but then return to empty cupboards.

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