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AIBU?

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To lock up all our food etc when we leave

906 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
Supersimkin7 · 11/08/2025 21:15

SIL isn’t making this con emotional, don’t you start.

Store your stuff for your own reuse, no drama.

Apocketfilledwithposies · 11/08/2025 21:13

I'd just have a "kitchen essentials" box or bag that you chuck in the car boot and take back and forth.

Oil, salt, pepper, tea, coffee, loo roll etc. keep the box stocked for your household and don't leave anything there beyond the loo roll that's already in use!! Everything else they can pick up from the shop themselves and stop using up all your supplies and not replacing them. Absolute cheeky fuckers.

If they bring it up just say you've had too many occasions of arriving to nothing when you left plenty so now you'll bring stuff to and fro.

I'd not be hiding things or lying. They've no shame so why tiptoe around?!

nmsi · 11/08/2025 21:13

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll)

It would piss me off so I'd take everything home with me in a big box apart from one thing of each - eg. one bog roll, salt and pepper shakers, one roll of kitchen roll (or a half used one, whatever), one or two dishwasher tablets, one or two laundry pods, couple of bin bags.
I wouldn't be leaving them any treats or leftover food when they don't even leave toilet roll. It really is shitty not to leave toilet roll!!!

You've spoken to them about it and that hasn't worked so just leave the absolute minimum and take the rest with you. When you go up to the holiday home the next time take everything you will need with you so you don't get left without toilet roll.

I wouldn't leave stuff in the suitcase because they might snoop and be able to get into it. You can just get some kind of storage box to put the non-perishables in which can be stored somewhere at your home and replenished before you go the next time. Perishables can be eaten within a couple of days of your return home.

What happens with cleaning products? Are you the only person buying them?

Muffinmam · 11/08/2025 21:12

I think it’s necessary that you stash your supplies. You can’t rely on them being where you left them as your SIL never replaces what she uses - not does she contribute.

You’ve already asked nicely - it’s time to hide your stash.

MrsHiggins1 · 11/08/2025 21:10

You can but you should tell them in advance so they can buy their own

BlackeyedSusan · 11/08/2025 21:06

I would be making it look like I had left stuff for them without actually leaving stuff! I hate when people take the piss and other people excuse it.

I would save a loo roll with only a few sheets left to swap out when you leave. (Take one with me from home if necessary)

Save a packet of pasta with only half a portion, two teabags, a dribble of milk. One cheap thing with a bit more in.

Autumn38 · 11/08/2025 21:05

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

This is what I would do. Enough not to be blatantly obvious, few enough to inconvenience them.

id also take the stuff with you. That way It looks as if you’ve just naturally run low on stuff and they’ll be pissed off but can’t really be pissed off with you.

Mammamia162627 · 11/08/2025 21:02

Piknik · 11/08/2025 20:56

Absolutely agree with bare minimum and stowe the rest away.

If you usually have half a loo roll in your bedroom to blot with, make sure that you only have a few sheets on their as well.

3 teabags
2 dishwasher tablets
Salt and pepper
1/4 loo roll
1/8 bottle of shampoo if you usually leave toiletries
And then, just for fun, a massive, exciting looking tin of Quality Street in the cupboard, but full of either:
Empty wrappers and 1 x strawberry cream
Fat balls to feed the birds.

I love this! Though I’d reduce the loo roll to just a few sheets 😅

Wadadli · 11/08/2025 21:02

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

Do it! 😇🤣😈 … give the CFs what they deserve!

Mammamia162627 · 11/08/2025 21:01

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

I would leave just the one teabag for two people - nothing more infuriating 😅

Okiedokie123 · 11/08/2025 21:00

I would hide or bring back with you everything tbh. Be petty!

Blueblell · 11/08/2025 21:00

I would put it all in a box in the boot of your car and take it home although that is a pain in the arse. You can bet they would find it even if hidden and it would cause a row - probably between you and your DH. But maybe you only need to leave them with nothing once and they will get the message.

I would also have a bit of fun and leave lots of useless stuff.

Cherrytree86 · 11/08/2025 20:57

How does she not give her husband the ick with her stinginess?! Ewww. Don’t leave her anything , OP. And if you husband isn’t happy remind him that you don’t have money to burn
@ChangerMonNom

Piknik · 11/08/2025 20:56

Absolutely agree with bare minimum and stowe the rest away.

If you usually have half a loo roll in your bedroom to blot with, make sure that you only have a few sheets on their as well.

3 teabags
2 dishwasher tablets
Salt and pepper
1/4 loo roll
1/8 bottle of shampoo if you usually leave toiletries
And then, just for fun, a massive, exciting looking tin of Quality Street in the cupboard, but full of either:
Empty wrappers and 1 x strawberry cream
Fat balls to feed the birds.

PeloMom · 11/08/2025 20:56

Do it. And no need to get them perishables / treats- they’re thoughtless to you.

lizzyBennet08 · 11/08/2025 20:55

I would absolutely do this!

NaeRolls · 11/08/2025 20:54

You could go 'scorched earth' and release a load of weevils into all the grain containers and cereal boxes. I'm just not sure where you'd find the weevils...

Someone2025 · 11/08/2025 20:53

mondaytosunday · 11/08/2025 18:11

I’d think leaving the bare minimum would be fine. Locking up what’s already there does seem petty, but if they repeatedly take advantage then do it!

Agree, leave the bare minimum of the cheaper items and take the rest

leave
1 x toilet roll
salt
some milk
A few tea bags

Don’t leave dishwasher tablets, coffee, oil, any food

They will get it eventually

Vanillazebra · 11/08/2025 20:53

Wrap the oil in something and pop a plastic bag around it so that it if it spills it doesn't ruin your case

MotherWol · 11/08/2025 20:53

In addition to only leaving three teabags, look at the back of your cupboard for some really weird decoy food you can leave behind for show. Can of royal game soup, some turnip chutney and a bottle of flaming hot sauce? The weirder the better!

Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 11/08/2025 20:49

Absolutely do it OP! His dsis is a selfish cow and it might teach her a lesson!

steppemum · 11/08/2025 20:49

we had a familiy shared holiday home, and the basic rule is that you leave enough for the new arrivals for 24/48 hours.
It is considered really bad behaviour to leave them with no loo roll, tea bags or milk.
Apart from that, if you leaft loads behind it was always fair game.

The issue for me is not about letting her have what we have left, it is about her not leaving you loo roll and tea bags when you are next. that is really shitty behaviour.
So I would be putting enough in the suitcase so that when I arrive I know that I have dishwasher tabs, tea bags, loo roll, oil etc. Totally for my convenience, not to annoy SIL.
I would also take any larger amounts of left overs home.

FurForksSake · 11/08/2025 20:48

It really depends on how you value the harmony and relationship. I’d be very upfront about it that you will be leaving x amount of y products and it must be replaced. Agree what will be left in the house and share the cost of jt. Anything above and beyond that you remove. Whoever finishes something related it like for like. Over time it works out fairly reasonably in our family experience.

these situations it’s very easy for resentment to grow and so setting it out really plainly is the only way to go. Definitely store stuff for yourself in a locker, but there should be basics that people can expect on arrival to prevent the crap of arriving and being scuppered.

LassoOfTruth · 11/08/2025 20:47

Leave like 1 dishwasher tab and the last lonely sheet of loo roll clinging to the cardboard. They’re CFs!

Cherrysoup · 11/08/2025 20:45

Take a big bag for life and take the lot home. I stayed in a hotel this weekend, took my cafetière/coffee/fruit/nuts, just packed the whole lot up las5 night and fetched it all home. I like having stuff I want whilst there but I’d be disappointed if someone used it all up in a cottage. The Airbnb was disappointing, literally enough milk for one person for cereal, salt/pepper, that was it. No oil or fresh produce, which was promised.