Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

882 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
LittleBitofBread · 17/08/2025 18:59

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:14

Sorry to keep you all hanging. We didn't have lunch. I convinced DH to get on road after a quick cup of tea (our teabags) with them.

SIL definitely did a once over of the kitchen when she arrived.

I didn't put anything in the suitcase as it felt like a faff, but spent the last few days consuming as much as possible.

I've left 3 teabags as suggested. I left about one cup of milk in fridge andthere is only one toilet roll on the hanger.

I hid the salt somewhere not obvious and will say someone must have done so in error if discovered.

I said to SIL 'you'll probably need to go to the shops as we didn't get a chance to get some items' and she said 'oh...' and looked concerned. Her goodbye had a certain frostiness.

Nothing from them yet but will report back if so! Halo

I said to SIL 'you'll probably need to go to the shops as we didn't get a chance to get some items' and she said 'oh...' and looked concerned. Her goodbye had a certain frostiness.

So beyond a shadow of a doubt she has been taking the piss.
And now she’s realised you know.
I wouldn’t try to have a conversation about it, just keep leaving the house with no supplies in it with no comment.
It'll be interesting to see if she brings it up. I bet she won’t - she knows you could just turn round and say, ‘Well, that’s how you guys always leave it.’

Spaghettihair · 17/08/2025 18:55

Shame if you left half a bottle of old red on the side for cooking and she assumed it was fresh and poured a sour glass…

JustSawJohnny · 17/08/2025 18:53

Next time they come straight after you I'd leave a lovely basket of full of fresh foods on the kitchen counter - fresh bread, biscuits, fruit, chocolate, cheese and a bottle of wine - and when she 'Oooohs' at it pick it up and say 'Yeah, we won't have time to stop on the way home so I grabbed a few bits to take back with us' then take it to the car.

I love that she's on to you but she can't prove you're doing it on purpose.

Spaghettihair · 17/08/2025 18:53

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:22

Oh and there was this classic from her.

I said 'cleaner has been friday so everything should be clean' and she said - 'oh good. last time they didn't really clean the window sills but hopefully they did this time'

I said 'well I'm only prepared to pay for two hours so they do what they can in that time and it's better than anyone else does'. No reply to that.

What a princess! I don’t think you need to be assuring her it’s clean though, that’s a bit like fishing for a compliment iyswim. Say nothing and if she’s the gall to complain look surprised and reassure her the village has cleaning spray…

RealEagle · 17/08/2025 18:48

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:14

Sorry to keep you all hanging. We didn't have lunch. I convinced DH to get on road after a quick cup of tea (our teabags) with them.

SIL definitely did a once over of the kitchen when she arrived.

I didn't put anything in the suitcase as it felt like a faff, but spent the last few days consuming as much as possible.

I've left 3 teabags as suggested. I left about one cup of milk in fridge andthere is only one toilet roll on the hanger.

I hid the salt somewhere not obvious and will say someone must have done so in error if discovered.

I said to SIL 'you'll probably need to go to the shops as we didn't get a chance to get some items' and she said 'oh...' and looked concerned. Her goodbye had a certain frostiness.

Nothing from them yet but will report back if so! Halo

Please tell me you made holes in all the teabags 😭

rookiemere · 17/08/2025 18:40

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:22

Oh and there was this classic from her.

I said 'cleaner has been friday so everything should be clean' and she said - 'oh good. last time they didn't really clean the window sills but hopefully they did this time'

I said 'well I'm only prepared to pay for two hours so they do what they can in that time and it's better than anyone else does'. No reply to that.

Oh she is a real piece of work.
You could message her the cleaner’s number “This is the cleaner we use. We generally pay for two hours when we have been staying so the property is nice and clean for the next arrivals. It would be great if you could start booking her as well when you’ve been at the cottage. If you think more things need done then give her a list, she’s very flexible. Of course if it takes longer you will need to pay more for the extra time.”

TheTeasmaid · 17/08/2025 18:35

@ChangerMonNom if you did get tea bags you could get the cheapest possible the no frills are omg tasting

Helen1625 · 17/08/2025 18:32

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:14

Sorry to keep you all hanging. We didn't have lunch. I convinced DH to get on road after a quick cup of tea (our teabags) with them.

SIL definitely did a once over of the kitchen when she arrived.

I didn't put anything in the suitcase as it felt like a faff, but spent the last few days consuming as much as possible.

I've left 3 teabags as suggested. I left about one cup of milk in fridge andthere is only one toilet roll on the hanger.

I hid the salt somewhere not obvious and will say someone must have done so in error if discovered.

I said to SIL 'you'll probably need to go to the shops as we didn't get a chance to get some items' and she said 'oh...' and looked concerned. Her goodbye had a certain frostiness.

Nothing from them yet but will report back if so! Halo

Well done you!

And thanks for updating. Do this a couple of times and she may just take the hint 😉

Needlenardlenoo · 17/08/2025 18:27

Haha! She knows you're on to her.

I've just stayed in a Eurocamp and you get a little cardboard box with a mini washing up liquid, a mini spray cleaner, a cloth, a scourer, one small loo roll, two swing bin liners and a bathroom bin liner. That's it!

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:22

Oh and there was this classic from her.

I said 'cleaner has been friday so everything should be clean' and she said - 'oh good. last time they didn't really clean the window sills but hopefully they did this time'

I said 'well I'm only prepared to pay for two hours so they do what they can in that time and it's better than anyone else does'. No reply to that.

OP posts:
ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:14

Sorry to keep you all hanging. We didn't have lunch. I convinced DH to get on road after a quick cup of tea (our teabags) with them.

SIL definitely did a once over of the kitchen when she arrived.

I didn't put anything in the suitcase as it felt like a faff, but spent the last few days consuming as much as possible.

I've left 3 teabags as suggested. I left about one cup of milk in fridge andthere is only one toilet roll on the hanger.

I hid the salt somewhere not obvious and will say someone must have done so in error if discovered.

I said to SIL 'you'll probably need to go to the shops as we didn't get a chance to get some items' and she said 'oh...' and looked concerned. Her goodbye had a certain frostiness.

Nothing from them yet but will report back if so! Halo

OP posts:
R0setheHat · 17/08/2025 18:12

ChangerMonNom
so… what happened? Do tell.

YowieeF · 17/08/2025 17:59

take everything not bolted down, they will get the message.

BeRarePearlJoker · 17/08/2025 17:58

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

Yeah I agree, just take yr supplies home.

FurForksSake · 17/08/2025 17:24

It’s like waiting for Father Christmas… I hope SIl hasn’t seen the thread and bought half of Waitrose with her…

Glindaa · 17/08/2025 17:19

Leave some sour milk

DiabeticChocolateLover · 17/08/2025 17:14

Take it back home with you. Either store it until your next visit or use it and take fresh with you. Simples!!

ThePoshUns · 17/08/2025 11:46

Here for the update! Shameless. Good luck OP

BiddyPopthe2nd · 17/08/2025 11:28

Good luck with lunch today

AmIEnough · 17/08/2025 09:20

I’m afraid I would absolutely go down the root of pettiness! They are taking the Mickey and like others have said they don’t use much so they can go and purchase their own stuff can’t they! I would definitely be locking it all up in a suitcase and either taking it home or hiding it somewhere. Like others have said, have fun with it!

WillyWonkasPurpleHat · 17/08/2025 08:29

Irritating though SiL sounds, I would be more annoyed at my H loving to play Mr Billy Big Balls with our money and loving getting all the attention for paying for everything.

Even if he doesnt realise it - he is getting his pay off that way

noworklifebalance · 16/08/2025 23:46

I am with you, OP but I would do it gradually, leaving less and less after each visit - almost gaslighting them into thinking you are leaving things behind for them as usual. That way you get a fair outcome and have a bit of without the fall out.
People like this never learn even if it is spelled out to them - they are so entitled.

CommonAsMucklowe · 16/08/2025 23:31

Do it OP, SIL tight and inconsiderate. Two awful trates, especially from family.

TalkToTheHand123 · 16/08/2025 23:18

I'd make it 100% obvious or they will not learn and may do similar in other circumstances.

ByCalmBlueWriter · 16/08/2025 21:49

To arrive and have no loo roll or other essentials is plain mean.
I’d totally be petty, lock up all they need on arrival and leave things they can get by without such as mustard or floor cleaner for them to get a taste of their own medicine. I suggest putting the suitcase behind the ones you already have under the stairs to make it less obvious in case they start looking.