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To lock up all our food etc when we leave

906 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
blackpooolrock · 12/08/2025 09:59

Surely a kitty is the way forward here. You, as a family of 4, would obviously put in more than say just a couple. So if you put in £40 for a family of 4 your SIL would put in £20 as a couple. seems a fair way of dividing costs.

Oldglasses · 12/08/2025 09:58

I would def leave the minimum.
One loo roll
2 dishwasher tablets
2 teabags and a small amount of coffee.
Then they have to go and buy more. Even if they leave nothing for you next time you haven't subsidised their holiday.
We used to share a holiday home - it was actually PIL's but we used it along with BIL and his family and we both put money in to doing it up so we could continue using it if that makes sense.
There was always toilet roll, toiletries, dry goods etc there when we arrived. We also did a big shop as they couldn't leave fresh food and our tastes were different to theirs - but if we had leftover pasta or whatever we'd leave it and then there would be pasta when we arrived next summer.

BakewellGin1 · 12/08/2025 09:53

I would leave a single toilet roll, couple dishwasher tabs and washing pods plus any left over bits.

However I would have a locked suitcase with toilet rolls, toiletries, washing pods and dishwasher tabs in a case so you never are left without when you arrive.

Moana987 · 12/08/2025 09:53

I would lock up everything, I dont care how petty or mean it seems. I think they are taking you for mugs always leaving stuff behind for them but they never do the same. Id treat them like they treat you.
Id lock it all in the suitcase and put a extra lock on it.

AnonymousBleep · 12/08/2025 09:53

I'm in the 'go low' camp. Do it, and report back to us.

JustCleaningtheBBQ · 12/08/2025 09:50

tripleginandtonic · 11/08/2025 18:24

It's your dh's family, let him make the decision.

But OP is contributing towards it financially so she has a say.

SamPoodle123 · 12/08/2025 09:48

I would give them a taste of their own medicine and lock up the loo roll as well lol. Some people are so inconsiderate. Also, how do you know they are not doing the same? Locking up the loo rolls etc for when they return? Maybe thats why there is nothing left when you go.

milveycrohn · 12/08/2025 09:48

Take it all with you.(or leave just a couple of items)
There's just the two of them; they hardly use anything.
I say this from experience. We did not own a holiday cottage but frequently stayed in holiday cottages when our DC were young.
Nowadays, the owner often leaves a pint of milk, and some condiments for general use, but this was not the case in the past.
We literally had to take everything with us, and clear it out when we left.

Butchyrestingface · 12/08/2025 09:47

Another vote for stowing everything that isn't nailed to the floor.

#LockUpYourTeaspoons

nmsi · 12/08/2025 09:38

sueelleker · 12/08/2025 09:32

I agree. They don't need six eggs for "just the two of them"/s

Eggs cost a fortune these days anyway. I wouldn't be leaving them behind. It's like leaving a gold ingot on the kitchen counter for them.

Also eggs are so precious that I'd be worried about leaving them there and the CFs not wanting to eat them and chucking them.

UrbanFan · 12/08/2025 09:37

I wouldn't leave them anything if they are too tight to show you the same courtesy that you've already shown them. I vote for standing up for yourself and giving them the virtual finger.

Rainbow1901 · 12/08/2025 09:36

I would do as others have suggested and leave the bare minimum - couple of teabags, one inch of oil etc. When and if she comments about it just throw her words back at her - but you hardly use anything for just two of you!!

fussychica · 12/08/2025 09:36

Team petty here - except it's not petty, she is being a tight CF and I can't stand users.
Definitely leave remains, 1 d/w tab etc and as for coffee I think I have a rock hard bit left in a jar here that I'll happily donate to the cause.😉

thepariscrimefiles · 12/08/2025 09:34

FreebieWallopFridge · 12/08/2025 09:01

So you own 70% of the cottage but they use it more and you paid for all the refurbs, yet somehow they think it’s ok not to chip in for household stuff when they use it?

Lock it all in the suitcase. I wouldn’t give a crap if they whinged tbh.

Why should you carry on subbing them?

I absolutely agree with this. Most people who have pretty much unlimited access to a reburbished holiday home, the vast majority of which is owned and paid for by another family would be really grateful and would make sure that they are contributing fairly to the groceries/toilet rolls etc.

However, as they are rude and entitled cheeky fuckers I assume that they will be really cross if they arrive and find that your family hasn't supplied all the necessities that you usually do. Be prepared for them complaining bitterly to your PILs and your DH about how unfair you are being. But whatever they do and say, do not cave. You have right on your side.

sueelleker · 12/08/2025 09:32

ThePoshUns · 12/08/2025 09:04

I wouldn’t even leave them that much.

I agree. They don't need six eggs for "just the two of them"/s

nmsi · 12/08/2025 09:31

@ChangerMonNom

What happens with cleaning supplies? Who purchases them and who replenishes them?
If it's you all the time that needs looking at too.
I wouldn't be taking cleaning supplies home but there needs to be some kind of system where everyone buys new cleaning supplies before they leave if they are running low. Or a kitty which everyone contributes to and one of your purchases them in bulk a couple of times a year so there's enough.

I'd like to bet CFs have never bought window cleaner, cleaning cloths, multipurpose cleaner etc

Mary28 · 12/08/2025 09:25

I wouldn't lock them up as that's a bit petty looking. I wouldn't bother with any further conversation on it either. I'd just start taking the vast majority of stuff home with me - leaving the house as I find it essentially. They'll get the point pretty quickly.

ImogenBrocklehurst · 12/08/2025 09:16

wimonnzy · 11/08/2025 18:13

I could play games with this. One dishwasher tab, one washing gel tab, a bit of salt n pepper, the end of a bag of pasta and a few sheets on a toilet roll, use your imagination. Just enough to keep them from saying you were MEAN, when in fact it is they that are tight.

Have fun!

Yes, this one. Petty petty petty! 🙂

BunfightBetty · 12/08/2025 09:15

MikeRafone · 12/08/2025 08:42

but I think I’d want to have a conversation,

ops original post they state

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’)

You’re quite right. In my mind, I was thinking a conversation more along the lines of calling out the tight and selfish behaviour: ‘alright tightarse, it’s your turn to buy’, so they can’t weasel out and they know they’re viewed as tight. Rather than the polite request OP has made, that they’ve felt able to ignore.

But it does depend on how the family operates. It could be no amount of conversing works. In which case, I’d go petty all the way!!

workingitout1234 · 12/08/2025 09:12

I’d be locking some food away, they will notice that it’s all empty and will then get the message

Dogaredabomb · 12/08/2025 09:10

mathanxiety · 12/08/2025 02:58

LOL, yes to this.

Pack the essentials in a suitcase and bring it home with you. Leave them enough bog roll for one use.

Only enough for a wee though.

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 12/08/2025 09:08

Dogaredabomb · 12/08/2025 09:06

I think an empty teabag box with one torn teabag, just casually left there. Because you didn't notice. And one banana, because hey, you're just random 🤷🏼‍♂️

A torn teabag - brilliant !😆

Dogaredabomb · 12/08/2025 09:06

GardenGaff · 11/08/2025 18:32

I’d leave the empty cardboard roll on the loo roll holder, and one teabag - used - on the kitchen side.

I think an empty teabag box with one torn teabag, just casually left there. Because you didn't notice. And one banana, because hey, you're just random 🤷🏼‍♂️

Sharptonguedwoman · 12/08/2025 09:06

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

👆This

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 12/08/2025 09:06

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

This. I would leave stuff but it would be painfully minimalist.

Not an entire loo roll though. Just 1/8 would be the finger up I was trying to confer.

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