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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

906 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Rosegoldy · 12/08/2026 12:20

nomas · 12/08/2025 12:06

Definitely lock up the food.

And save up to buy them out of their 30%. And if they refuse, sell the property and buy your own.

This.
Your husband's Billy Big Bollix routine would irritate me.

I am very generous BUT mean Cheeky fxxkery brings out the pendant in me.

OneDreamyAquaEagle · 12/08/2026 11:58

BMW58 · 11/08/2026 08:36

Buy something luxurious that you know they'd scoff - Belgian chocolates for example - eat it all but leave the empty box out in plain sight........

I think I'd leave a solo, lonely chocolate...

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 12/08/2026 11:18

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

Ttue that

BMW58 · 11/08/2026 08:36

Buy something luxurious that you know they'd scoff - Belgian chocolates for example - eat it all but leave the empty box out in plain sight........

DoneWithMIL · 11/08/2026 07:25

I would leave them nothing, not even a single toilet roll. You are in the right

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/08/2026 07:18

PruthePrune · 11/08/2025 18:20

Take it with you and just leave half a loo roll, one dishwasher tab, 1/4 packet of pasta etc. Feign surprise if they say anything and say you used everything.

This or a lockable box left there

yes it’s petty but they are taking the piss

do they leave it empty for their parents as well

TheReplacement · 11/08/2026 07:08

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

Absolutely we do. OP do please keep us updated after this summer's holiday Flowers

1HappyTraveller · 11/08/2026 06:58

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

this is also true 😂

GladCrab · 11/08/2026 00:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

1HappyTraveller · 10/08/2026 22:40

No one likes a CF!!!

Edited

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

1HappyTraveller · 10/08/2026 22:40

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:02

I love how invested you all are!

No one likes a CF!!!

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 18:36

Nothing has been said as far as I know. We did meet up at a restaurant last Xmas time and paid for dinner naturally (but they still asked for a doggy bag).even the kids were mortified on their behalf

OP posts:
Carriemac · 10/08/2026 17:17

We too have a holiday home and one and only one of our family are similar but we have a lockable kitchen cupboard and only lock it for them

BMW58 · 10/08/2026 16:54

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

Marvellous stuff!!!!

So very satisfying to hear of people standing up to these fuckers.

Thank you !!!👏

ChocolateBiscuitsandaCuppa · 10/08/2026 16:52

Another one who enjoyed your update, and not being taken for a ride by tight SIL.

menopausequeen · 10/08/2026 16:49

I vote for pettiness. I’m sick of free loaders. Perhaps they will realise what it’s like then to arrive with nothing.

MrsMitford3 · 10/08/2026 16:46

@ChangerMonNom

So satisfying for the Op to come back and update!!!

What have the CF's said? Have they addressed it?

rookiemere · 10/08/2026 16:39

@ChangerMonNom thank you so much for the update!
Hows your DH adjusting to any digs caused by the reduced hospitality? I assume you aren’t paying for their meals any more.

Cherrysoup · 10/08/2026 16:39

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

Brilliant! I’d be so cross if a family member behaved like sil, she’s a right cf!

SpiritedFlame · 10/08/2026 15:57

Thank you for updating. I was so excited (unreasonably so!) to get an email notification haha

Kelly1969 · 10/08/2026 15:10

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

Omg!
yes, block access to anything you pay for!
I know it’s nice to share especially when it’s at no cost to you but that has to be reciprocated which it def isn’t!

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

OP posts:
ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:02

I love how invested you all are!

OP posts:
NeedthatFridayfeeling · 10/08/2026 11:38

Having mentioned it and it happens a lot I’d go with locking things away now. Teach her a lesson.

Shinyandnew1 · 07/08/2026 09:54

I remember this thread! Any updates?