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Original poster

£100K - difference of opinion on how it should be spent.

169 replies

Wrinkledretainer · 09/08/2025 19:26

Name changed. We’ve inherited (dh parent) just over a £100k. Both late 50’s with good defined benefit pensions of many years and good max lump sums if we want to take it of £200k or minimum of £50k tax free if we want to keep max monthly pension. Annual pensions will be £85K with state pension included. One child at uni whom we have saved £40k for towards flat deposit. Fees via student loan but we pay maintenance/halls/rent cost.

Dh earns a third more than I do, combined income £95k. Debts £20k as we needed some house works. Mortgage still £170k as we lost a business and had to sell up so didn’t re-enter the property market again in SE until 6 years ago. House worth £450k.

Over the years we’ve travelled extensively around the world and spent a lot on holidays. I’d like to pay off the debts, put a patio in (5K), buy a £10-12k car as ours is on its last legs and then put the rest towards the mortgage. Dh wants to pay off the debts, put a patio in, get the car then spend the rest travelling more whilst we can.

In my scenario, paying off the debts and paying down the mortgage will mean we can save an extra £1200 a month. With his scenario, it would be an extra £600 a month. We only have savings of £15k taking out dc savings of £40k above.

I think the longer term plan is to move to the South coast but houses there will probably be about the same as where we are price wise.

Dh thinks we should live a little now as we’re getting older and health wise things are creeping up. He envisages we’ll slow down in our 70’s and the pension savings will accrue then. I feel we need to be more sensible now to build more of a cushion. If there is another inheritance, it’s only likely to be about £20k.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wrinkledretainer · 10/08/2025 15:38

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 10/08/2025 12:23

You're slightly annoying those of us who will be living on state pensions. You've got loads of equity and you'd still have a pension if one of you died. I think you'd feel insecure whatever your circumstances were.

Sorry you feel offended, that wasn’t the intention. Yes, I probably would feel insecure as I’m not from a monied background and we’ve made financial mistakes.

OP posts:
AvidJadeShaker · 10/08/2025 14:59

Wrinkledretainer · 10/08/2025 13:57

Thank you all. The aim is to either have a low monthly mortgage payment on retirement (£300 max) or to pay it off altogether with the lump sum or move to a cheaper area at a push to become mortgage free.

We cleared our mortgage with a pension lump sum, it worked out well.

Original poster
Wrinkledretainer · 10/08/2025 13:57

Thank you all. The aim is to either have a low monthly mortgage payment on retirement (£300 max) or to pay it off altogether with the lump sum or move to a cheaper area at a push to become mortgage free.

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 10/08/2025 13:56

You say 'we've inherited'

But your husband inherited the money is that right? Or was the will specifically set out for 50k to each of you?

I wouldnt tell him what he would do with his own inheritance.

toomuchfaff · 10/08/2025 13:53

CatCollector · 10/08/2025 09:29

On the other hand a poor old age will be very long indeed.
All this spending "just in case" is a bit ridiculous when you have 170K mortgage

" wait until 70 and "
As it stands Op will still be paying a mortgage then ...

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If their private pension is going to be 65k then I don't think a £600 a month mortgage will be an issue. They can always overpay now as they earn 95k joint.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 10/08/2025 12:56

JLou08 · 10/08/2025 12:44

They'd have an extra £1,200 a month for adventures if they pay the mortgage and will be saving money on the interest payments.

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Yes, but that isn’t what he wants to do. And it’s his inheritance.

JLou08 · 10/08/2025 12:44

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 12:28

His logic - as has been pointed out numerous times on this thread - is that health becomes increasingly unreliable as you age and the time to have adventures is while you still can.

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They'd have an extra £1,200 a month for adventures if they pay the mortgage and will be saving money on the interest payments.

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 12:28

JLou08 · 10/08/2025 11:50

I'd pay the mortgage without a doubt. With a saving if £1200 a month you will still be able to do plenty of travelling. I don't really see his logic.

His logic - as has been pointed out numerous times on this thread - is that health becomes increasingly unreliable as you age and the time to have adventures is while you still can.

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 10/08/2025 12:23

You're slightly annoying those of us who will be living on state pensions. You've got loads of equity and you'd still have a pension if one of you died. I think you'd feel insecure whatever your circumstances were.

JLou08 · 10/08/2025 11:50

I'd pay the mortgage without a doubt. With a saving if £1200 a month you will still be able to do plenty of travelling. I don't really see his logic.

Notsuchafattynow · 10/08/2025 11:45

I inherited a bit more than that and ultimately, it was my call on how we spent it.

We did agree to use some to pay off the mortgage and move house.

'We' still have a large chunk that I'm very cautious about spending, as it's sooooo easy to burn through.

My DH can't understand this, but accepts it's my money.

I know, when the time comes and he inherits, I'll have to respect how he wishes to use that money to some degree. I know I will find it hard though!

TimeForABreak4 · 10/08/2025 11:32

My mum died eight days before she retired, I'd do what your dh suggests as it is his inheritance end of the day.

toiletpiper · 10/08/2025 10:51

There are a few places with defined benefit pension schemes like local authorities (or do you mean final salary schemes?). Career average schemes still offer a defined benefit but the accrual rate seems to be less than the old final salary rate (but I’m not a pensions expert!).

Yeah, I'm in one. They don't offer anything like what they did in the past...

FrenchandSaunders · 10/08/2025 10:27

Travel and have fun whilst you can. Things can change rapidly in a very short time. My dad put off a lot of things for his retirement and died at 62, so I have a very different view of money to my DH. His parents lived until mid 80s.

forgotmyusername1 · 10/08/2025 10:22

Parent plays on the local water polo team in masters category. No care needs imminent. Can't rule out the future of course

DrPrunesqualer · 10/08/2025 10:18

CatCollector · 10/08/2025 10:14

Are people not reading the Op?
The have already travelled extensively
They earn 95K, have lost a business, have 5K debt ( net) and an outstanding 170K mortgage
Personally it sounds like the DH has a history of poor money management and so it will continue...

This was my thinking too
Hence a recommendation to pay off as much debt as possible. The new car seems a must atm
The patio and holidays can be saved for.
With only one kid at Uni and good salaries that’s possible

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 10:15

Deprivation of assets applies only if there is a realistic expectation that care will be needed when a gift is made. She’ll be free and clear of that and IHT liability in seven years.

CatCollector · 10/08/2025 10:14

Are people not reading the Op?
The have already travelled extensively
They earn 95K, have lost a business, have 5K debt ( net) and an outstanding 170K mortgage
Personally it sounds like the DH has a history of poor money management and so it will continue...

forgotmyusername1 · 10/08/2025 10:13

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 10/08/2025 10:07

It may not apply to your parent but if her assets would be subject to inheritance tax and she dies within 7 years or she needs care ( deprivation of assets ) you may be required to pay back some or all of the money .

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This is why parent is doing it now - in hope of living 7 years. They have just turned 70 so hopefully this will work out but if it doesn't there will be sufficient assets in estate to pay back the tax.

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 10/08/2025 10:07

forgotmyusername1 · 10/08/2025 09:41

I am about to get given 100k (in my case parent is alive but has decided to give us early inheritance)

Our plan is
Clear credit cards (14k)
Pay off mortgage (60k)
Holiday next year (8k)
Remainder into s&s isa

With the savings from not paying the mortgage we will save for Holiday following year and the isa money will be for general house improvements/ car when it bites the dust.

Ours is slightly different in that it enables us to be completely mortgage free but I agree with others that you need to split it. Ask him to come up with a plan of what travelling he wants to do and how much it would cost? Maybe assign that plus 10k to the holiday fund and put remainder into mortgage

It may not apply to your parent but if her assets would be subject to inheritance tax and she dies within 7 years or she needs care ( deprivation of assets ) you may be required to pay back some or all of the money .

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 10/08/2025 10:02

Wrinkledretainer · 10/08/2025 08:42

There are a few places with defined benefit pension schemes like local authorities (or do you mean final salary schemes?). Career average schemes still offer a defined benefit but the accrual rate seems to be less than the old final salary rate (but I’m not a pensions expert!).

Show quote history

@Wrinkledretainer Even with state pension included your annual total predicted pension amount seems quite high considering you have had time out from paying when you were running your business . I assume you are still paying in to some type of pension at now ? .
Make sure you 100% sure of your totals before you make any decisions with the inheritance money .

CrotchetyQuaver · 10/08/2025 10:01

I agree with he gets the greater say as the moneys come from his side.
i would also add re the travelling, he's right. I'm a bit older than you at 60, my husband (71) died in May 3 months after being struck down by a horrible aggressive cancer. You simply don't know what the future holds for you both, so go travelling whilst you're fit and able to.

Blueblell · 10/08/2025 09:44

Live a bit now!

forgotmyusername1 · 10/08/2025 09:41

I am about to get given 100k (in my case parent is alive but has decided to give us early inheritance)

Our plan is
Clear credit cards (14k)
Pay off mortgage (60k)
Holiday next year (8k)
Remainder into s&s isa

With the savings from not paying the mortgage we will save for Holiday following year and the isa money will be for general house improvements/ car when it bites the dust.

Ours is slightly different in that it enables us to be completely mortgage free but I agree with others that you need to split it. Ask him to come up with a plan of what travelling he wants to do and how much it would cost? Maybe assign that plus 10k to the holiday fund and put remainder into mortgage

Original poster
Wrinkledretainer · 10/08/2025 09:35

CatCollector · 10/08/2025 09:23

Agree
Op you say your DH wants to travel now before it's too late
Have you considered what you would do if you are too ill to work until 67?
How would you pay your mortgage off?
Also you are counting on SP -I wouldn't be surprised if it was means tested by then

As it is you are paying until 72 -unless the overpayments knock a couple of years off

Show quote history

I don’t think the state pension will be means tested by the time we retire but who knows (thinking of the Waspi women).
If we were too ill to work, we’d put in for ill health retirement to access pensions early (not guaranteed it would be agreed of course but, given our ages now, it’s likely). Fingers crossed, although we have some niggly issues, neither of us has chronic illness yet but, again, it’s an unknown which makes me cautious.
We won’t be paying the mortgage past retirement age hopefully as we’ll use the pension lump sum to clear what’s left and/or plan to move to a slightly cheaper area. If we do end up staying put, as long as the monthly mortgage is around £300 then that would be fine. Our income will be around £65k net (£85k gross).

We both have death in service cover and small life insurance which will cover the mortgage.

OP posts: