Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm literally ready to scream. Girl with irritating mother pt 2

183 replies

Balloonhearts · 27/07/2025 16:03

No, this time I really am going to drown myself in the rain butt. Unsupervised minors be damned.

Link to previous thread for those who don't know what I'm ranting about. www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5359192-really-irritated-with-this-girls-mother?latest=1

So Summer riding club started yesterday. Girl from previous thread is enrolled and in my group.

Firstly her mother has signed her up AGAIN with the wrong weight on her form. And a note in the Need to Know section saying 'No large horses.' Obviously we realised and assigned her the correct size horse for her height, weight and experience. They got on swimmingly, Carol (The horse) is very sweet and biddable and excellent with beginners.

Mum came to get her yesterday and did her nut.

Now admittedly Carol does have quite a fast extended trot, which the girl, I'll call her S, was rising beautifully to. It's easier when going faster. More impulsion, means a bigger upwards assist and she has pretty much cracked her rising trot yesterday. She was happy, beaming and full of confidence. Not unhappy with her assigned mount in the least.

Anyway, mum went off on one about having requested no large horses and her wishes being ignored. First of all Carol isn't large. She is a 15.3 Thoroughbred with quite a dainty build. Not big or intimidating at all.

Mum insisted on a smaller horse today. This is difficult because S is both tall and heavy. Most of the ponies can carry a max of 10 stone and, again, we need to reshuffle riders to accommodate this.

The only one small enough to accommodate her is a 14hh cob called Mickey. He can carry her but neither of them are particularly comfortable. She has her stirrups hiked up to be able to apply aids correctly. This is throwing off her centre of balance and making her rising trot difficult and Mickey unbalanced. She's too long in the leg for riding him to be comfortable and with a weak core to start with, she is struggling.

Mickey is also a bit of a twat. If his rider is annoying him, he bucks. He's really more an intermediate horse than beginner. He's sweet natured but easily annoyed by an unsteady leg.

Today has mostly been teaching her to sit a buck, with limited success as Mickey is nothing if not persistent. She is not enjoying him at all.

Are we really unreasonable to tell this woman bluntly at pickup to either wind her neck in and leave the horse choosing to us or find somewhere else to ride?

I feel awful for S as she's a lovely kid and clearly mortified by her mums behaviour.

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 27/07/2025 16:14

MounjaroMounjaro · 27/07/2025 16:12

Why don't you have a set of scales and a measuring stick which has to be used for anyone riding a horse so that a neutral decision can be made? I wouldn't trust anyone to put down the correct weight.

We do. How do you think we found out it was wrong?

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 27/07/2025 16:13

She's just completely stuck on their height. She looks ridiculous on Mickey with her bloody knees up around her elbows.

I get what she's saying about further to fall but realistically, she's come off Mickey 4 times today. She hasn't fallen off Carol once! And if she did, it would probably be a case of just going out the side door on a corner, not being launched into the fence at high velocity.

OP posts:
MounjaroMounjaro · 27/07/2025 16:12

Why don't you have a set of scales and a measuring stick which has to be used for anyone riding a horse so that a neutral decision can be made? I wouldn't trust anyone to put down the correct weight.

romdowa · 27/07/2025 16:12

Yes you need to tell her that due to her child's height , weight and level of experience that carol is the best fit. If that doesn't suit then I'd offer a refund and say that it's Clear your riding club isn't a good fit

QuantumLevelActions · 27/07/2025 16:12

Doppe · 27/07/2025 16:10

Definitely not unreasonable to “tell this woman bluntly at pickup to either wind her neck in and leave the horse choosing to us or find somewhere else to ride?” You are the knowledgeable one in this scenario; if you think Carol is a more suitable mount than Micky and have tried to explain this to the mother, that should be enough!

I agree.

She either trusts your knowledge and judgment or goes elsewhere.

Doppe · 27/07/2025 16:10

Definitely not unreasonable to “tell this woman bluntly at pickup to either wind her neck in and leave the horse choosing to us or find somewhere else to ride?” You are the knowledgeable one in this scenario; if you think Carol is a more suitable mount than Micky and have tried to explain this to the mother, that should be enough!

myplace · 27/07/2025 16:08

If the mother is making bad calls like this, then she doesn’t understand horse stuff. So use that to help you!

myplace · 27/07/2025 16:07

I think you are going to have to.

You are going to have to tell her that you know the horses, you know the child, and that Carole is the best mount for her. That she isn’t advance enough for Mickey who is an experienced ride, and is stopping her from progressing.

That on Carole she has the chance to progress really fast as they are so well suited.

Make it sound like She’s lucky to get Carole, and has real talent and potential of given the opportunity on an appropriate horse.