I'm literally ready to scream. Girl with irritating mother pt 2

Love that 'Mickey's a bit of a twat' 🤣

I think youre going to have to tell Ss mum.

You're expert, she is not.

That is why she is paying you to teach her Dd not doing it herself.

And if you put her on the wrong mount Dd could get hurt and your poor pony could have an accident injuring them both

So she can trust your discretion or take S elsewhere

Christ almighty op, well done on your patience with this woman thus far!

I cant believe she's happy to risk injuring a horse or her child, because she thinks she knows better than the professionals!
Do you think the owner will say that's enough now, or keep trying to accommodate?

You need to tell tell the Mother, that as the riding school, you have a responsibility from a H&S perspective for both the rider and horse.

That being the case, its important that the physical build and characteristics of the horse can safely and happily accommodate her daughter. Unfortunately the details she provided re her daughters height/weight on the form, are inaccurate and could put her and the pony at risk. Putting a youngster on a Pony that is too small for them can put pony and rider at risk and can inhibit her daughters riding development.

Her daughter has a talent and was coming along well on the Horse you allocated and now she has been moved ot a smaller point, both she and the Pony are struggling.

I agree with the poster earlier who said that you need to tell the Mother that the daughter is welcome to continue but on the horse selected by the experienced staff at the riding school.

I came from your last post, and I am really enjoying the horsey tales! I was very into horse riding when I was younger, and fell out of it as I became an adult. I have recently really wanted to get back into it, but when I tried the nearest school to me it felt awful. The horses were lined up in a barn, all tacked up, and looked as though they were left tied to a rope with their tack on all day. I watched the horse my lesson was on come back from another 1hr lesson to be handed straight to me with no rest/water etc etc. It all felt very wrong, and considering they preach their high standards, I didn’t see them. They also had dogs caged all over the yard which I found difficult to see. Honestly wish I could make some sort of report, but I don’t know who it would be to. Your previous comment about letting the horses speak for themselves made me think about how awful it was. I hope the mum comes to her senses and realises she’s just ruining it for her child!

Horse riding is not the same “consumer experience” as booking into ice skating lessons or holiday kids club - there’s animal welfare and considerable safety issues at stake. If she won’t give accurate information and then allow you to do your job she needs to be told to go elsewhere. I think you’re entirely right to refuse to take a child who can barely do rising trot in a sand school out on a group hack on roads riding a pony that’s had her off four times in one day already - cos that’s an accident waiting to happen, totally foreseeable and no doubt when she gets hurt it’s going to be blamed on you.

I’m amazed the owner is pandering to her - in my 1990s riding school experience riding instructors are not to be argued with and don’t suffer fools!

Really ? Read the previous thread. How do you think OP knows that the height and weight the parent gave was wrong ?

Does make me giggle when people make the mistake that ponies are smaller so therefore safer & sweeter.

Nooooo! Definitely not the case 😂

I've got a new forest pony, a shetland & a 16.2 horse.

I can't let a child anywhere near the shitland he'd prob take their arm off or turn & double barrel them (he's a rescue & wasn't handled as a youngster so semi forgive him)

The Forester is strong & opinionated & bucks if you put a child on him. He does all the pony 'jokes' bucks off the child, scrapes the child off against the side of the school, fence, ongoing traffic etc. I'd say he has a minimum weight limit of 7 stone as anything else just comes straight off .

The horse is an angel - school master type, ISH definitely some draft in there as chunky. I've put my 3 year old niece on her, MIL in her 80's rides her.

OP You could try explaining it in terms of native ponies which are bred to survive in mountain & moorland etc versus horses which are bred to be ridden so are more trainable, responsive etc (I know that's not the whole truth but helps explain why shitlands, foresters & welshies are the way the are)

You just need to be straight with the mother. Her daughter is too heavy for the ponies to be safe and comfortable. It’s not acceptable for the ponies to be exposed to a rider that makes their experience unpleasant. They will get injured and so will the girl. Your responsibility is to the animal and the safety of the rider, both with were compromised by trying to appease the idiotic mother. Unfortunately you can’t spare the daughter any embarrassment, you just need to be blunt.

Have to say that I took my worst falls off the back of a 13.2 Appaloosa cross. When I got too tall for her I rode various 16h+ cobby hunting types with no issues. I haven't ridden for about ten years (too fat!) but my recollection is that small ponies whilst lovable can also be absolute shits and can smell a newbie a mile off.

Here’s the thing: horses are not Lego bricks you just swap in and out based on personal preference. They are living animals with needs, temperaments, and limits and matching horse to rider involves experience, judgment, and safety considerations. That’s your job, not the mother’s.
I would suggest you tell Mother, to stop being a mare 🐴🐎🎠 (or maybe not!)

then explain to her thick head –

Horse/rider pairings are safety decisions.

You've given her the benefit of the doubt, but Mickey is not working for S.

S did well on Carol. She was safe, happy, and progressing. That’s the best-case outcome.

Carol is not “large” by any realistic riding standard, especially not for someone of S’s height and weight.

You're not comfortable continuing with unsafe pairings.

I haven’t ridden since I was a kid, and I’m 60 now, but what you have said here makes perfect sense to me, and I can’t understand why this mum can’t comprehend it too.

Frankly, as a complete non-rider with no knowledge of riding or horses, she should be trusting you as the experts, not insisting you follow her ignorant guidelines. I’d be asking her why, when it is clear she doesn’t trust you, her dd is in your classes!

From your posts you clearly understand the risks. Whether the mother herself does or not, it should still be your decision. You will be judged responsible by it. If the owner overrides your judgement (after all, they hold the reins of the business) I suggest you put your position in writing to them. I hope this would protect you in the event of an accident, even if you were unable to refuse their instructions. You are saddled with two unstable individuals here. But hay-ho.

The mother sounds as though she is in denial about her daughter's weight. That's not your problem. You are the expert in this situation, and frankly, if the girl has fallen off a horse 4 times you are running the risk that she injures herself. You are the professional, you need to lay down the law. Other posters have suggested nice ways of phrasing it.

PS Carol is a great name for a horse!

Agree with this. You guys are the experts, not her.

You could say what you've said here about falling-off frequency versus distance to fall.

I don't understand why you are still wasting time with this woman? I know it's difficult running a riding school these days, in fact it must be a nightmare, but it's quite simple.

You are responsible for the safety of the riders and well-being of the animals, you decide who rides what horse or pony, and that's that, it is not open to discussion. If she doesn't like it she can go elsewhere.

I understand the girl is 13, so old enough to help out here. I feel sorry for her, poor lass.

I assume she much prefers riding Carol so it shouldn't be too hard to get her onside. Have a chat and do a pincer movement on the annoying mother.

I think you should read up on your legal obligations towards children before you do another lesson.

I agree with this. Honestly, OP, I would just spell it out for her, politely but firmly. I would add to the above that she's welcome to go elsewhere but any reputable riding school will tell her the same, and even a school that doesn't weigh them (questionable) will take one look at her height and put her on a horse, not a pony.

Side note: I am livid that a parent would rather put her inexperienced kid on a shorter mount that bucks constantly than a safe, nice kind sensible big horse who will teach her child how lovely it is to ride. Absolute madness.

"With respect Mrs Dickhead, we are the best judge of our horses and who is most suitable for each student. This is based on numerous factors including rider ability and size, and horses temperament. If you do not trust our judgement, you are very welcome to try another riding school if you'd rather" 🖕🖕🖕

Then ask S in front of mum which horse she'd rather have tomorrow 😈

If the child is 13 stone then she is really too heavy for Carol as well- especially if she is a 15.3hh light weight TB.

Do you not have any 14.2 - 15hh weight carriers? I would have thought they would be a priority at a riding school.

I would also tell the mum that the choice of horse/pony is at the discretion of the Riding School and if she is not happy then she will need to take her daughter elsewhere.

Oh wow, I remember your previous post about this poor girl and her mother.

I think like others say, spell it out to her: you've chosen the appropriate horse for her. It's this horse or they can walk.

And I wouldn't refund her unless you have a waiting list that will fill it instantly. Mum is the one in the wrong here: she's already been told off about lying about her daughter's weight after the last camp; she did it again anyway; and you provided the only available suitable horse for her size and experience. She can lump it.

Get the owner to explain to the mother that the child is too tall and heavy to ride any pony other than Mickey. Fact
Then Explain Mickey is not the easiest to ride and giving the kid a hard time and she was enjoying riding Carol more.
Explain you enjoy teaching the kid but they have to understand the size and ability constraints that you need to operate within.

I'm afraid you need to be honest with her and explain how difficult it has been accommodating her DD when the weight given on the info sheet is not accurate.

You gave her the right size horse for her height and weight - if the Mum can't handle that her child needs a bigger horse that's her problem, realistically.

If she's not happy she can take her child elsewhere.

I think she may well find that other places are way less accommodating. A shame for the DD, obviously, but you can only do so much and this Mother is taking the pure piss.