I'm literally ready to scream. Girl with irritating mother pt 2

Your have been entirely reasonable and your message was great.

I got bucked off enough mardy ponies when I rode as a tween to know that smaller is definitely not safer. Was literally telling my DF yesterday when we took the kids to see the horses at the riding school with them that I generally follow the same rule with dogs and horses: big ones are often gentle giants and it's the little buggers you've got to watch out for.

Are you a BHS qualified instructor or what teaching qualifications do you have? I think its hugely unprofessional to allow a child to ride a pony you know is unsuitable for her level of ability and allow her to fall off 4 times in one lesson. You say straight out the only horse we have to accommodate her ability, weight and height is 'x'. There is no negotiation.

That being said any decent 14.2 cob would easily carry the same weight (and more) than a dainty Tb so if you don't have a quiet cob pony suitable for a beginner it seems like a very limited selection of horses.

I don't know anything about horses but I really love reading your posts. The way you describe the relationship between the horses and the students is so poetic. You should write a novel about horses. I would love to read it. If you ever do please be sure to let us know.

Fingers crossed for you. It's not fair on you, the girl or the horses to be put in this situation.

I think you need to emphasise to manager and mum that your professional expertise and reputation is on the line, and that's why you won't continue to allow her to ride a horse that's wrong for her. The wrong horse puts her safety at risk, an you can't be expected to suspend your professional opinion to keep an uneducated woman happy, even if she is S's mum. Like some said, kindly communicate that accepting your professional judgement is a condition of continuing with the club, and offer a refund if that's what she'd prefer.

I feel sorry for the dd in this, she obviously cares about horses and wants to learn to ride but has had her pony camp experience messed up by her mum’s meddling. Then when you inevitably part company poor S will be told “we tried horse riding but it didn’t work out because they couldn’t keep you safe”
Perhaps that’s why the owner keeps trying to appease mum?

You sound like a really lovely stables and have gone above and beyond for this family so I hope somebody manages to talk sense into mum re the need for S to have a suitably sized horse and why this is actually a safer option for her.

PS, please do let us know if you write a pony book Op, I’d read it 😆

It's not unprofessional at all.

It's very clear from OPs posts that they take the children's safety & the horses wellbeing very seriously, they also have a higher weight limit than any near me (12 stone max for beginners) and the pony camps which offer far more than the standard lesson/hack. I think it's a great advert for the stables.

Mum knows nothing, you lot know your horses. I’d say 13st is the limit of a lightweight TB of 15hh2. I’d be wary of getting on that as an experienced rider, although I’m under that weight. But again, you know your horses.

A 14hh bucking bronco will teach the child balance and how to stay on, but sounds uncomfortable and as she’s come off 4 times, it’s a big no!

@Balloonhearts I have no advice to offer for this situation as I have ridden a horse maybe twice in my life. But I had to post to say that your first thread about this ridiculous mother inspired me to look up local riding schools for some summer holiday events for my DC.

You were of course hilarious in your descriptions but what also came across so clearly was your love for the horses (even the twats) and how much you cared about the kids having the best time and getting the most out of their experience. I know my DC would love to learn to ride with someone like you so I just had to let you know how you inspired me to look into something different for them.

Hope this mum sees sense and listens to you experts!

Are you not at all concerned that this could be identifying with the names of the specific horses? Anyone using those stables would immediately know it was that stables you were referring to? It’s quite unprofessional.

🤣 Lol, sounds like this woman wouldn’t know what to do with a ‘Mickey’ - she believes ponies are safer than 16+hh geldings. 🤣🤣🤣

Just put her on on one that will throw her. If shes really into it she will dust herself off and get back on (coming from a horsey parent with a child with an unrecognised fractured back!!). If not horsey mum will whisk her away - problem solved

She’s taking the Mickey

Do let us know how it goes. The owner needs to be firm with mum that you guys know best and are doing the best for her child. And is she keeps causing issue she’s have to go elsewhere, you are thinking of both her kid and your horses.

Well done @Balloonhearts - looking out for the safety of the rider and the horse.

I know a human called Mickey who is also a twat - coincidence? I don't think so.

My dd goes to a ride and groom thing at a local riding school. They play with the little tiny pony’s and then have a little lesson. I wouldn’t bloody dream of telling the owners/workers which horse she should be on. She started off in small ones but now she goes on a huge one. My dd bloody loves it.

Tbh, I think the only unreasonable thing you've done here is to follow these requests against your better and professional judgement.

In doing so, you have failed to prioritise either of their welfare.

Why on earth didn't you just tell her at the start that the riding school's decision is final?

I know it's not always easy (I'm a primary school teacher) but it should be you calling the shots, not her.

You don't need to worry about what you're walking into in the morning. She's welcome to not return if she is unhappy with your decision.

Why do people who nothing about a sport want to dictate how it's run? Stupid bloody woman and her poor daughter. Sad that she is so overweight with no core at that age though. Hopefully she'll carry on with the riding and build some muscle and lose weight to be able to ride other horses. With the weight of the saddle she's needs something that can carry 15st which is rare!
Far too many people see nothing wrong with pony squishing.
Well done on your weight limit and making it fun for the daughter.

I think this is unfortunately the part where you stop beating round the bush out of fear of causing offence and just tell the woman bluntly that her daughters weight is the reason she cannot ride the smaller horses (out of earshot of the child of course) and that you are happy to offer the alternative or nothing at all. Anyone who fits into the categories of underweight, overweight, very tall or very short will encounter situations where they might have to do things differently to their peers and the sooner this woman accepts that the better!!

As a non-horsey person, I sympathize with the mother, but at the same time she is behaving very badly and not at all in her daughter's interests. After all, she came to you because you know more about horses and riding than her, so it makes no sense to ignore your advice!

When my tall and leggy (but underweight and not overly strong) son started riding lessons, I was terrified by the instuctor's choice of horse. It was an ex-military Clydesdale cross called Webster. He was huge! I was very concerned, but just watched and waited to see how it worked out. I'm glad I didn't intervene, because the horse and the boy really bonded, and when Webster eventually retired, only my son was allowed to ride him. Sadly, we had to stop his lessons because someone new took over the stables and was actively unpleasant to him, but I'm glad he had the experience because it improved his confidence no end.

What is it with Mickeys ? We had one , he was also a bit of a twat!

Not RTFT but read your last thread.

Horses welfare comes first and then child’s obvs - tell mum in no uncertain terms that she csn either listen to you (as she clearly has no clue) or unfortunately you won’t becabii lol d to continue to offer the service (which I know you don’t want to do - she sounds like a lovelh kid and it’ll be a stand if mum continues to spoil it for her)

Carol is an epic name for a horse!

Poor kid with a mother like that. Sounds like she had a fab day with Carol and not so much with Mickey (love the description of him 😂)