I'm literally ready to scream. Girl with irritating mother pt 2

I'm always intrigued by people with professional knowledge and expertise who offer a service feeling like they have to kow tow to bolshy clients/customers. Do you have a personal history that makes it difficult to assert yourself? I'm not without history myself and ran an animal based business but I would never compromise the safety and welfare of any one in contact with the animals or the animals themselves because of a stroppy customer/client. I'm not trying to be a smart ass but I think you and the business owner need to firm up your boundaries. You don't need clients like this. You're not responsible for the happiness of the child if the parent is being an arse.

One word: Shetland

The message was sent to the riding school owner, not mum.

I’d have sent the message someone else suggested, it was more professional. I think yours sounded less like a professional opinion that carol was the best horse for her child and more 1. Wishy washy instead of factual and experienced and 2. like her daughter is not safe. I’d have sent the other message pretty much word for word, reread it to channel that vibe tomorrow.

You just need to pull her aside away from the child and say you keep putting incorrect numbers on her forms. We have allocated her a horse that is the correct size for her height and weight. She made great progress on carol and enjoyed herself, she's come off 4 times today because the horse isn't the right size for her. If she continues to attend she will have the horse we allocate, I am happy to refund you for the rest of the lessons, but it would be a real shame because S had a really good time riding carol

Yes you need to tell her that due to her child's height , weight and level of experience that carol is the best fit. If that doesn't suit then I'd offer a refund and say that it's Clear your riding club isn't a good fit

Also answers to Shitland

No, this time I really am going to drown myself in the rain butt. Unsupervised minors be damned.

Link to previous thread for those who don't know what I'm ranting about. www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5359192-really-irritated-with-this-girls-mother?latest=1

So Summer riding club started yesterday. Girl from previous thread is enrolled and in my group.

Firstly her mother has signed her up AGAIN with the wrong weight on her form. And a note in the Need to Know section saying 'No large horses.' Obviously we realised and assigned her the correct size horse for her height, weight and experience. They got on swimmingly, Carol (The horse) is very sweet and biddable and excellent with beginners.

Mum came to get her yesterday and did her nut.

Now admittedly Carol does have quite a fast extended trot, which the girl, I'll call her S, was rising beautifully to. It's easier when going faster. More impulsion, means a bigger upwards assist and she has pretty much cracked her rising trot yesterday. She was happy, beaming and full of confidence. Not unhappy with her assigned mount in the least.

Anyway, mum went off on one about having requested no large horses and her wishes being ignored. First of all Carol isn't large. She is a 15.3 Thoroughbred with quite a dainty build. Not big or intimidating at all.

Mum insisted on a smaller horse today. This is difficult because S is both tall and heavy. Most of the ponies can carry a max of 10 stone and, again, we need to reshuffle riders to accommodate this.

The only one small enough to accommodate her is a 14hh cob called Mickey. He can carry her but neither of them are particularly comfortable. She has her stirrups hiked up to be able to apply aids correctly. This is throwing off her centre of balance and making her rising trot difficult and Mickey unbalanced. She's too long in the leg for riding him to be comfortable and with a weak core to start with, she is struggling.

Mickey is also a bit of a twat. If his rider is annoying him, he bucks. He's really more an intermediate horse than beginner. He's sweet natured but easily annoyed by an unsteady leg.

Today has mostly been teaching her to sit a buck, with limited success as Mickey is nothing if not persistent. She is not enjoying him at all.

Are we really unreasonable to tell this woman bluntly at pickup to either wind her neck in and leave the horse choosing to us or find somewhere else to ride?

I feel awful for S as she's a lovely kid and clearly mortified by her mums behaviour.

Your have been entirely reasonable and your message was great.

I got bucked off enough mardy ponies when I rode as a tween to know that smaller is definitely not safer. Was literally telling my DF yesterday when we took the kids to see the horses at the riding school with them that I generally follow the same rule with dogs and horses: big ones are often gentle giants and it's the little buggers you've got to watch out for.

We are sticking to our weight limits. Not sure where you think we haven't? Mickey was fine weightwise, he's just a shortarse. We did speak to the mum the first time. And the second. And now we're speaking to her a third time.

The drama I could do without but as anyone who has worked with kids and animals will know, sometimes its a case of strangle someone or tell it as a funny anecdote. You've got to have a sense of humour in these situations.

Do you have insurance? What is the situation if the girl comes off and breaks something? Would you be responsible or would the owner? Remember that the girl can sue you herself when she reaches 18, is she has a life-changing injury in your care.

You should have spoken to the mum and followed your own policies the first time. This is entirely your own doing, you're being a martyr for no reason. Why have weight limits if you don't follow them?
It's like you enjoy the drama from this.