Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

You poor thing OP, I’d be devastated too. Unfortunately there are a load of red flags as to the competency and professionalism of your builder in your post. Most extensions should take around 3 months to complete (depending on the size) and this is perfectly achievable even with a small team. The waste is another red flag because the builder should have allowed for enough skips to deal with the waste rather than chucking it in your garden. How did they get rid of all the waste at the end? Garden waste is different to building waste and would need to be dealt with separately. There’s no way a builder would do this free of charge so expect an invoice and be prepared to dispute it.

Is the builder self employed or did you get a an insured VAT registered company in?

Bloody hell, OP, I gasped when I read this. I’d be heartbroken. My heart goes out to you.

I'd sue him. Abysmal.

The unwell mother is neither here nor there.

You don’t need to “go mental” but firmly and assertively state your case.

Some men enjoy the “ripping out” aspect I think. Fil version of “gardening” is to take implements and hack away at plants and bushes.

That won't be true.A lot of cowboy builders use hospital stories for sympathy.

Toute de suite

But toot sweet is the cutest malapropism I have heard.

I'd be devastated too. I love my garden. But try to think of the fun you'll have starting from scratch. You don't have to spend thousands. People are often happy to donate plants or cuttings. Seeds don't cost a lot. Garden centres and nurseries often have a clearance corner with plants that need rescuing. And plants grow amazingly quickly. I started my garden from nothing 9 years ago and it's a bit of a jungle now!

Did he scrape it with a digger? That's really odd. What was agreed initially? I fear there may be an additional charge for this...

This is insane. I have never heard of a builder doing this, or anything like it.

You need to talk to the builder. I’d be looking for compensation too. Although that won’t bring your lovely plants back.

I would be absolutely devastated and I think I’d probably find out a bit more about any communication between the builder and your husband, as it happened on his watch, before tackling the builder. I wonder if it would have happened had you been there yourself.

I'd be devastated too. This is awful.

I think I’d be questioning my DH a little more closely about how exactly the conversation went.

Contact the builder. Ask for clarity on the conversation that led to the garden being ripped out.

I would bet there has been more conversations or details provided than your DH is willing to admit.

There is just no way that an “am I ok to clear the garden!” led to the removal of the lawn and trees without there being a prior or more lengthy conversation than that. Where’s it all gone now?

Don’t ask your DH to speak to the builder, speak to him yourself, you need the facts. Find out specifically what was agreed and what the purpose of the the removal was. If it was an unnecessary misunderstanding and the builder was at fault, then ask for a discount off the final bill.

Sue him for the cost of replanting. Get a gardeneer in to replace the plants, toot sweet, and send him the bill.

He had no right to destroy your plants. You will still have young plants instead of mature ones for a long time - so to replant lets the builder off from the full cost.

Tell him you thought he meant to clear away his stuff - what else would he mean?

I agree, I thought as soon as I read OP that h knows more about this than admitting to. It would be interesting to hear builders side of the story.

I think you need a solicitors letter, detailing how it was reasonable to assume he meant clear the garden of builders rubbish (do you have photos) and that removing all the shrubbery snd plants was by no means reasonable, the cost of replacing etc.

immediately, before they do send an invoice.

Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation
Has this been throughout this entire build, going a year over, and ruining the garden initially?

That’s absolutely bonkers, why did they do that! We’ve just had an extension finished, and like you been unable to use the garden, and the lawn is ruined, but grass is very resilient and I know will grow back. At a few squashed plants in the borders , when they cleaned up im still left with a lawn (albeit there’s not a lot of grass), but my plants are mainly left intact, with a lot of weeds.

I think you need to discuss with the builder and let them know it’s no on. Even if it’s so they don’t do it to someone else. I’m presuming they’d have had to hire a skip to get rid of every, as a pp said, make sure you don’t get charged for this and ask for money off to contribute towards restocking.

The dumping of all the rubbish in the garden was a warning sign. He always saw it as a yard, not a garden.

This is what I mean. No garden “needs” clearing down to nothing. This attitude is the problem. Creating a blank space is a fashionable and stupid preference, not a worthy and necessary job.

With all due respects his personal situation is not your problem.
I wonder why he told you that if not to garner sympathy or an excuse why the work has taken a stupid length of time to finish?
I'd be so angry about the garden I really would say something, but I get the feeling something is missing in 'clear the garden' convo with h.
If he was at home was he at home for some of the time it was being cleared? If so why didn't he say something?

I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and I'd be devastated. Of course you must confront him. TBH it sounds as if you've been pushovers throughout the project but this is next level.

They’re definitely going to charge extra for this, mowing the lawn is one thing but removing trees is surely a chargeable task

I had a massive kitchen and side extension done 20 years ago and at no point was my garden left covered with crap or made inaccessible. A decent builder just wouldn't do that.

You need to have a firm conversation with the builder. Call him back and do it face to face. Keep the upper hand and be assertive without shouting or screaming if possible. Be clear that "clear the garden" should have meant him removing all his mess, not ripping out plants or cutting down trees without specifically discussing that first. Has he even removed roots or just chopped them off at ground level? I would definitely expect a reduction on the final invoice for re-landscaping the garden.

What planet are you on .

I’m so sorry.
live near a builder who bought the house when the garden had established trees and shrubs. He did the same to his. It’s bare now and covered in manufactured artefacts painted bright colours. Hes dying to cut my trees down and he genuinely does not understand that I love my established fruit trees and boundary shrubs. Your builder probably thinks that “doing the garden” means “mechanically razing a space in preparation for bought objects”.

I am so sorry. I blame instagram. It’s so trendy to fill a space with crap and pretend youve done a good thing, because of social media. Plants take time and you can’t throw money at a “transformation” in the way that we’re encouraged to do now.

I genuinely think old fashioned gardening is a huge loss to society. The noise and the ugliness that everyone has to live with while things are always being torn up and thrown away is bad enough in a neighborhood without it being your own precious plants being thrown away. People think it’s grandpas who care about planting but they weren’t always grandpas, they were young men making a nice home once. Living next door to a man who takes pride in his garden without endless power tools but with forks and trowels would be so restful.

you need to tell him. Your husband should have tood him. He should know, but someone needs to tell him he has caused great damage. I don’t know where this idea that all plants are weeds have come from but it’s a huge problem.