Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

Are people incapable of writing a letter without Chat GPT these days?

Mind boggling.

Over a year for an extension??

I haven’t rtft but I wanted to comment. You poor thing, I too would be extremely upset if this happened to me too. Unfortunately some people have a slash and burn mindset which doesn’t allow for any sentimentality over plants, trees etc. As far as I’m concerned, if a plant self-seeds and grows somewhere, I’m grateful for that and always let it stay. I think if you have a respect for nature that is how you think.

No matter how much your plants had overgrown, they were your plants and I imagine that’s why you’re feeling so upset. It’s a violation of your previous efforts.

My guess is they maybe thought they were doing you a favour? Thinking you would change the layout?

The only positive I can think of is that the ideal planting season will be upon us in a few months which gives you time to imagine and plan how a garden in your new space might work for you now you have the extension. Over winter you will be able to buy bare root trees and some shrubs that will be lots cheaper than the potted types.

How truly unbelievable of them.

I don't want to derail this thread but weirdly am in similar situation so would love some more advice - can you recommend some websites? Garden design books? I don't know where to start.

When she says earlier in the post that he stayed at home she is talking about him not accompanying her on the holiday. On the day, he was not at home.

She says very clearly in the OP that he “left for work”. He was not there.

A builder making more work for themselves, as well. Sounds unreal.

Like others, I’m not sure how your DH didn’t notice if he was at home. Removing trees and established shrubs is a big and often noisy job re power tools. I also don’t understand how they’re left your garden being unusable for so long either. Rubbish should have been skipped as they went.

I have learnt the hard way that you need to be crystal clear about scope of works for everything. Much smaller example but earlier this year we were expecting a light hedge trim for about £150. Has used the same guys every year. I said something in passing to one of the guys on site which we both misinterpreted and actually got a very hard cut back and massive £600 bill.

But DH also agreed that the builder could 'clear the garden' without a written agreement so he's also at fault.

There is a difference between "clear up the garden" and "clear the garden". The first, I agree would mean to tidy it, the second could easily mean to fully clear it in order to start garden again from scratch when it has been a dump and neglected for years.

OP hasn't said what the scope of works states and OP wasn't there when her husband gave the go ahead on the day. He said it was a misunderstanding, which would make me wonder if he agreed for them to "clear the garden", and that this is also what is included in the contract.

As far as we know, the builder hasn't asked for additional payment. Clearing the garden entirely is a big job to do without payment if not included in the scope of works.

OP this sounds awful - but really bizarre.

This would have taken a very long time and created enough waste for several skips / grabbers. I can't understand how this all happened in the space of a few hours?

WTF? He’s a builder so he can’t possibly have anything other than fake grass? Get to fuck with this snobbery.

I wouldn't advise you "go mental" anyway but even if he has an ill relative you should still be VERY clear with him how unhappy you are.
I had a gardener do similar, I wanted a tidy up and and left him to it but he left and his assistant ripped out plants that had taken 15 years to grow. I cried when I got back from work

Yes, but for an entire year? And they then managed to clear and established and overgrown garden, plus building waste, in one working day?

Your husband’s excuse that he “hates confrontation” is utterly, utterly pathetic. I believe that he did not expect the garden to be cleared the way it was, the theories that he did it on purpose are outlandish. However, he prioritised his own social comfort over taking immediate action to deal with a situation that he knew would cause you severe distress. What a total waste of space. And to be honest if he has passively allowed building work to go over by a year he’s already got form for being a total pushover.

In a situation like this where they may be a dispute as to what was said it is VITAL to take swift action before “memories fade” and when there could even be a chance to salvage things like cuttings. Honestly, what do you see in this useless, selfish man?

@INFJismyvibe

I don't want to sound too cynical but builder's mothers/wife/cat often have stage four cancer or die. I have known many a builder to trot out this excuse.

Pitifully slow work is rarely because they can't work faster - especially when they seem fully capable of massively and suddenly picking up the pace when they want to.

It's invariably being strung out for some deliberate reason - either they're paid by the day/hour rather than by the job; or they're prioritising a bigger job for somebody else and treating yours as a 'bit on the side' extra earner whenever they get chance to fit it in.

I can't even understand how this can be a misunderstanding. When garden is full of building crap "clear up garden" would never mean "let's pull put every living thing, even the grass". Hope they dont even think about charging you for it. Do customers ever hope that the builders would do that unless it has been specifically discussed?

You haven't confirmed whether this was a multiple day job? Surely it must have been so how did your husband not see what was happening.
And have they actually dug up trees? This is a huge undertaking surely.
As well as sounding like it would fill an entire tip at big cost.
This sounds hugely implausible

That's horrible, I completely understand and you are not being unreasonable.

I had a similar thing happen a few years back although not to that extreme; I was catching up with a friend and I had someone cleaning our Windows ar home. My dh was at home and she asked if she could cut some of the branches from the star magnolia in front of our window so that it was easier to clean. DH said "sure" went upstairs to the home office and upon return noticed with horror she had cut the magnolia to almost half its size and destroyed its beautiful shape completely! It wasnt in bloom yet to be fair so to her it was probably just some boring tree. But like you I was devastated; this tree was small but beautiful when we bought the house and and literally grew up with our children, taking photos of them when it was in bloom every spring etc. And once the leaves came it was the perfect privacy shield from the street . It has grown out since but is very weirdly shaped, it used to be a pretty upside down Diamond shape/ Christmas tree shape iyswim.

I hope you can restore your garden with new meaningful and pretty plants OP!

I feel so devastated for you. Such an irreplaceable loss.

I've had well intended builders throw away my belongings under the heading of 'cleaning up' but none of them have ever had such sentimental value. Even then it was really upsetting.

I'm another one who thinks they've created extra work for themselves to boost their earnings. Some ropey tradies are highly skilled in 'assuming' that large amounts of chargeable extra work are wanted - which they see as their right - without ever asking the householder first, for fear that they will say No.

Even if they did think the trees and plants were unwanted, they would surely ignore them and just clear the mess that they had made in the course of the job - the stuff that would all have neatly gone straight into a skip had they been competent builders. It's as absurd as them fitting a new kitchen for you and then, completely unbidden, going and randomly redecorating your spare bedroom afterwards.

Nobody is going to do a whole load of extra bonus work for free, out of the goodness of their hearts, without even asking if you want it doing. Maybe a very minor finishing flourish, if they take pride in their work (clearly unlike these people), but not a whole extra intensive job - that anybody with half a brain would instantly know wasn't wanted.

@Cinaferna maybe the Cancer Research Institute urgently needs to commission a multi centre study into builders’ wives and mothers’ cancer risk, as it seems to be phenomenally high.