Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

I have so many questions 😬
They pulled up your entire garden, including getting rid of your lawn, and your trees, because they said they'd tidy up - surely that means they'll clear their crap, ie bags of rubble etc. Not suddenly go into the landscaping and fruit tree felling trade as well?!
Your trees - you said they're big enough to provide privacy, but now said they're little ones that are easily pulled up and maybe bear a little fruit?
Also - if your DH wasn't there, how does he know that a team of Romanian helpers came?
Also how would you even know their nationality, unless they have "Romanian Workers" or whatever on the side of their van 🫤

I would be devastated. I would be so bloody angry at my DH too. But to be honest by "clear the garden" I would have understood, remove any building rubble, debris, mess etc, not actual plants from the garden.

I don't know how you are sorted for money, but I would be tempted to replace any trees with as mature ones as you think you can afford rather than looking at a scrawny sapling for years and feeling sad about what you lost.

So sorry op, I would be grieving the loss of much loved plants too.

ChatGPT invents legal citations and rules.

Horrifying. Take pictures and think about next steps. Before and after with evidence of what happened for a review of the builders and then I’d contact the bbc for Charlie Dimmock. Seriously.

It’s a very useful tool to help you save time and unless you’re legally trained, I would advise anyone to run it through gpt as the wording is important, especially if it goes to court. You can still edit it yourself to make sure you’re happy with the final draft.

Yes, why should it be OP having to chalk it up to experience and live with the builders' bizarre overreach - and not the builders having to do the same in putting their massive error as right as possible, at their own expense?

this. When we had our (biggish) garden stripped out and hard landscaping added, the strip out took 2 husky blokes less than a day including demolishing two raised beds made from stones, digging out the brambles and so on.

Or, secret option number 3, she can talk to him, explain the problem and ask him what he is going to do to rectify it.

We don’t have to just chalk everything up to experience, we can ask people to fix their mistakes.

@Piknik "There is nothing to be done now, but my husband expected you to clear the rubble, not strip our whole garden.

Not sure it’s a good idea to mention her husband, seeing as he didn’t speak up at the time. That just begs the question: why didn’t he say anything? Probably best to keep him out of it and stick to the facts. Garden clearance was not discussed, required or desired. It’s needs to be reinstated and they will need to shoulder the cost.

I would start by really thinking about what sort of garden you want, how you would like to use it, where you imagine yourself sitting, how many flowers you want, how much maintenance you are willing to do and so on.

Identify any big work that needs doing first, for example, do you need to dig up the lawn and reseed/turf it?

When thinking about flowers and shrubs, pay attention to the positioning of your garden, whether it is north/east/south/west facing and how much light or shade it gets. Find out what kind of soil you have. Learn about the difference between perennial and annual plants.

If you care about wildlife and the environment, perhaps you could give some thought to making it pollinator friendly? For example, if you want to plant spring bulbs, only a couple of varieties of daffodil are useful to pollinators. In general flowers that have been extensively bred to make them more visually striking are less good for pollinators, perhaps because double rows of petals make pollen or nectar more difficult to access, or because the variety has evolved to reproduce asexually. If you plant daffodils, try to choose varieties which are closest to the natural varieties which grow in the wild, such as Tenby daffodils.

If you suffer from hay fever you can still help pollinators by choosing plants which are good sources of nectar rather than pollen.

Try to plant flowers which bloom at different times of year, so spring bulbs such as daffodils, hyacinths, crocuses, tulips etc (need to be planted in the autumn), then flowers which bloom in the summer and autumn. This will ensure that your garden is colourful all year round which is nicer you but also helpful for the bees and butterflies.

If you have a fence or wall which could support a trellis, you can plant things like ivy, honeysuckle, jasmine, clematis or climbing roses.

The flowers which are most attractive to pollinators tend to be those which bloom in the wild, and garden centres often sell seed packets of mixed wildflowers which can be sown in the spring, where you'll get things like poppies, cornflowers, cosmos and so on. These require very little maintenance and will come back year on year but you have to like the wildflower meadow look as opposed to a very formal ornamental garden. An ideal choice for both wildlife and the more casual gardener!

Aromatic herbs are also great and can be grown in pots by the kitchen door or in window boxes. Consider also planting lavender if you have a sunny spot.

I find that ChatGPT is super helpful at answering gardening questions and suggesting what to plant and when based on the information you give it about your garden space.

How do you know she doesn’t?

OP I love my garden more than my house so I feel your pain, but I think it was a genuine misunderstanding. My garden is a wild one and I have to be very careful to be clear about what I want done when i get workmen in. In fact I go back to the same(expensive) firm every time when my trees need care because they can be trusted not to go crazy and not to tidy up too much. You will grieve, its a huge loss. I get that you won't be able to see anything positive in it now and you may never be able to but you will re plant and your garden witll bloom again.

There's clearly something untoward going on here, isn't there?

I wonder if this was a case of them having a massive ongoing job elsewhere, but keeping OP's job ticking over as a bonus to maximise whatever spare time they could fit in with one or two blokes turning up half-heartedly and working piecemeal.

They finally finished the big job - the whole big team, including numerous (multiskilled) blokes who had never been to OP's place - so, with nothing else now to do, and maybe their own gardening machinery now available again, they moved on to OP's garden to get her job finalised and to get the money... only they spotted an opportunity for a 'misunderstanding' and figured that they could massively bump up their earnings by the whole team setting to and doing far more work than needed and agreed - especially if they knew that OP was on holiday.

Just my theory: it may be right, wrong or a bit of both. Whatever the truth is, they're going to be giving OP a much heftier bill than anticipated and warranted for the agreed work.

Quite amazing how his dad was so quick sorting the garden with his team of "Romanians" but his son was so slow on the extension.... shame he didnt pass on his work ethic to his son (or the Romanians phone numbers to help with the year long extension) - even sorting it all out while his wife was going into a hospice 🤔

Again, how do you know this?

How come DH didn’t confront them? How did they manage (even as a large team) to clear an entire garden in a day? How come you originally described the trees etc as being big enough to give you privacy, but now they’re not mature? It’s all just a bit off.

A rotovator would make quick work of stripping out a small garden as you’re essentially razing the entire area and not removing each plant carefully, so I’d say it only took 2-3 hours, but that doesn’t lessen the shock.

OP, I'd be devastated too and I don't care what anyone says, the builder asking to 'clear the garden' should have been extra clear on what he meant. It's a highly unusual thing to do (we've had similar work) and in no world does 'clear the garden' usually mean anything other than taking away building materials and rubble.

I would speak to the builder myself along the lines of -

"There is nothing to be done now, but my husband expected you to clear the rubble, not strip our whole garden. I have never heard of such a thing happening so please don't tell me it was a miscommunication - this is not a normal thing to do. I am not going to fight about it but I would like to know if any of the plants are still viable and can be returned? Even cuttings? As they were very sentimental. I would also like to understand how you think you can redress this is some way?"

Poor you. It's a horrible thing.

Are you a people pleaser who is afraid of confrontation OP, because otherwise, I’m struggling to understand how you let the builder stretch the work out for over a year without any penalties??

I’m sorry that all your lovely plants have been destroyed but maybe you can use this to channel your anger and become much more assertive in your future dealings with the builder?

They are definitely planning to bill you for the botched garden clearance so you need to woman up and be ready for that.

The builder’s mother’s state of health is not your concern so don’t let him use it as an excuse to avoid having that difficult conversation.

Good luck! 🤞

Contact your builder and let him know! Say you are astonished that your garden has been completely stripped bare in this way. Many of the larger plants had sentimental value, and you are extremely upset.

Ask him there's any chance any of the plants have been destroyed or just moved (there's a market for them). You probably won't get them back but worth a try.

Explain how much it will cost to replace your garden and ask for a reduction in the bill to cover it.

No OP you're not unreasonable at all. I'd be devastated too. It's not just plants it's time, it's effort, it's money, it's peace and quiet, it's shade, it's privacy, it's sentimentality and memories, its wildlife and it's sanctuary. It's everything and gardens can take so long mature. I totally get it

DH was at work, didn’t confront them, but somehow the nationality is known???

And yet, he spent what must have been hours and hours pulling up plants which have taken years to establish.

That he is going through stuff, doesn’t take away the extra cost and work it will take to re-establish the garden. It doesn’t take away the shock the OP must have felt at seeing something she cherished having been taken back to the bare bones. If your bar for bad things happening is “nobody died” that’s a crappy way to go through life.

Imagine someone came in and stripped your living room of carpets and furniture, would you say “ahh, his nan died, it’s ok”