to be annoyed that only women are expected to cuddle babies at work?

This thread's 10 months old!! 🤦‍♀️

But as it's been weirdly been bumped, I have to say I've never been expected to hold a colleague's baby ever.

And we have plenty come to visit us whilst on mat leave.

Oh FGS, women have been more maternal than men, for ever. Just ignore the baby mother - there'll be plenty of willing cuddlers around and nobody will notice whether you show any interest or not.

Probably stems from some video they saw on Tik tok 😬🙄

I work with almost all men. There is literally 1 other woman in the team. My kids got passed round like a bowl of popcorn with all my colleagues talking in silly voices and making faces at them. Our warehouse lad adores my youngest, she's 4 now and sticks to him like glue. Forever 'helping' him with jobs that would almost certainly be easier without her.

I don't think its a bloke thing in general tbh.

Asked by whom?

I mean, it might have been suggested to me too, but I never had any intention of doing it.

I feel ya. I was at my hobby a couple of years ago and this couple who I'm friends with came with their 2 small children. Think it's relevant to point out that I'm the only other mother there. The mum of the small children was like "oh can you watch them while I do this". I did for a bit but then shouted to the dad that I wanted to do some bits.

I think it irked me because it's really my only child free time and while the children are very nice, I don't really want to be lumped with other people's kids when I get the chance to be out without mine.

DS is only 23 but he loves the office baby so much he said recently, 'It's making me broody.' Luckily he loves the office dog even more. So far...

I don't think there's any expectation to take your baby to work. I never did it with either of mine. I have seen men bring in their new baby (or more often their wife visit with the baby, as dad is back at work within a couple of weeks).

The only people with babies and young children at my workplace are all male. The women are older, more senior and generally have teenagers or adult children. I can’t say I’ve ever felt targeted by visiting babies.

I haven't experienced this either. I'm not a baby person and have never held someone else's baby at work.

IME the mothers bringing in the babies, will mostly only "show" it to their closest friends and others need to actively show some interest and ask for a cuddle if they want one.

So, I do know what you mean and agree that it is almost always aimed at women in the office, but DH is one of the first to come out of his office to have a coo at a baby when one of his team brings their new one in. We don’t want any more but he loves little ones and would be happy to hold a baby for hours if asked to.

Had the same with my work. I eventually took my 11 week old in and everyone who saw him was like he is really big now. Well yeah, I wasn't bringing in a preemie newborn in for cuddles so he could get sick. They are not dolls.
My boss made it an expectation that I would come in with the baby.

Exactly. I never discuss why I don't have kids (never wanted them), but for all anyone knows my husband and I might have desperately wanted them and been unable to have them.

@pppaper monthly, which eventually built up to almost weekly, texts from multiple colleagues. Not counting all the Facebook ones but I think those were throwaway comments of people being polite and wanting to seem interested. But the texts were from colleagues who I suppose considered themselves friends and it was just too much. If I had to speak to my boss for any reason she'd be asking why haven't I been in to show the baby yet, everyone has been asking her etc. When I came in for a keeping in touch date and still hadn't brought the baby in, some of the reactions made me feel like some sort of freak. And a work friend overheard people gossiping in the staffroom saying what a shame it was, "especially seeing as we sent her off on mat leave with loads of gifts for the baby". I capitulated as I was embarrassed to think people thought me ill-mannered.

There's another side to this. I felt horrendously bullied and shamed into bringing my babies into the office. It was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. I hated doing it but was treated like some sort of freak because I still hadn't been in by the time my mat leave was nearly over.

Yeah I’ve had people asking me that. Telling me I’m getting older and really need to start thinking about having my own. Yeah I tried. It didn’t work. But i can’t say that obviously and i just have to force a smile and nod.

Thankfully I'm now too old and too senior to have anyone bother me with any of this shit.

When I was younger and more junior, I'd get asked if I wanted to hold the baby. "No, I'm good thanks".
And then asked if seeing the baby made me want one of my own.
"No, not in any way, shape or form".

I guess in a way it’s just an extension of the whole “social” administration work that women are just expected to do for free in most workplaces (remember people’s big birthdays and set up collections for big events etc, sort out work parties and get-togethers, cook for “potluck” lunches etc). I am generally very good at avoiding all of that (though did feel a bit judged when I basically said I couldn’t cope with making something for the last potluck sorry, the men either don’t contribute or get their wives or mothers to cook for it and that’s all fine!). But you can’t easily avoid a baby being thrust in your face at an inconvenient time at work!

Yeah I do know what you mean OP! I personally love a cuddle of a new baby, but the problem is my work is very stressful and busy and time-pressured (I’m a GP). So it puts me in a situation where I feel like I don’t want to be rude, and would genuinely love to cuddle and coo over the baby if I was on my lunch break etc, but when colleagues randomly appear with a baby at random times, I really feel like I seriously need to get on with my work!

So I usually show my face but try to avoid an actual cuddle these days as it’s harder to extricate yourself from that, and just say “oh she’s gorgeous!”, hang around for a few minutes then say “oh sorry I really have to get on!”.

You’re right though, the men smile and say “how lovely”! Then get on with their work, but the women are expected to spend a good 20-30 minutes fussing around the baby as if we have nothing else to be doing. And yes the baby is thrust upon you! We had a message on our WhatsApp group recently that a colleague was in with her baby but I was really under time pressure and had already clucked over this same baby the week before. So I tried to ignore it thinking others would assume I was busy only to have people knock at my door and say “look who’s here!” And thrust the baby at me 🤣 They did not do this to my male colleagues with the same job as me!

How often is this happening to you to make a post about it?

Just say don’t come near me I’ve got a cold 😂