Was I being unreasonable posting about this on FB?

This OP.

the fact you felt strong enough to share that is amazing. Don’t let him force you to deactivate a private personal space. Clear out the shit, and you be you.

sometimes the truth hurts. Hence his reaction.

Good! You no longer live under the cat’s paw do you do not have to put up with his shit.

I too think the problem not lies with FB, but rather who is on your friends list who showed him your post! You need to remove that person or place them on the restricted list, which I do with people I “know” but are not on personal terms with.. then change your posting privacy to only friends.

I will say though as a friend to a (childless) couple who separated last year, and who along with DH has tried to remain supportive to both, it’s been a stretch at times and I don’t see our friendship going the distance.

We have seen a side to one party we hadn’t seen before, and it’s not nice. I suspect there’s someone else lurking in the shadows for the ‘right time’ to come forward.

it didn’t sit well in hindsight to realise the partner who had the property appraised several months before the separation, had done so as part of the process and not to progress together from the information gained. It’s actually felt that the behaviour has been incredibly sly and covert.

I mention this as I think it’s normal for friends to ‘pick a side’ one way or another. You just have to work out who isn’t in your team…

I’d do another post with screenshots of his messages, the dick.

Id also report him to Facebook for threats, and depending on how petty you want to be, also the local police

Post what you like, women are always expected to keep a dignified silence and behave in a way that doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. His behavior turned you and your children's worlds upside down I'm sure. He can suck up a Facebook post or can fuck off you can say what you like about his infidelity and your house purchase, did you get a say in his behavior? I'm sure it was humiliating for you? And now he thinks he has a right to control you? I'd reply saying he has say in your social media and what you choose to say and his message is threatening and you have screenshot it and will report him to police if he does anything further. Good for you, I really admire you achieving this and why the hell should you keep quiet and nice, do what you bloody well like you earned and reclaimed that freedom from this twat

Hey op ignore the negative comments on here. you have done well why shouldn’t you be proud of yourself it’s your Facebook page. Well done. I would be more concerned about who sent him it. So called friend? Next time just tell him to go fuck himself how dare he tell you what to do. None of his bloody business.

Congratulations to you firstly OP, you must be very happy 😊
Secondly, whomever sent your ex your post is a shit stirring wanker.

Your ex is probably angry that he cannot control you anymore and that you have a new partner. Sod him. Reactivate your FB and enjoy your life ❤️

@fortygin forget FB, too many people looking over your shoulder. If you need a space to vent then do it here or somewhere else where you can be anonymous. It's not the same I expect but it keeps arseholes like your Ex at bay

I completely disagree. It's been a decade since my ex fucked off with ow and over the years as I have achieved things like a house purchase, a new job, something tough with the kids, things that were a big deal as a SP, I would post on FB and get lots of validation and support..I don't live near most of my friends and see them in RL rarely. I never ever mentioned him or referenced that I was doing these things alone but people knew and supported me.

I’m sorry but that was really embarrassing on you to do that. I never understand how people say that they never post and go and do something like this. I always feel like they’re lying. Why would your go to first reaction be to post on FB?
anyway it’s clear to anyone who you meant, so that was very immature of you and probably doesn’t paint you in a very good light too.

@fortygin Aww don’t let him tarnish this achievement.

Repeat after me “Fuck him…Fuck his opinion…Fuck him” oh and “Fuck the negative Nelly’s in this thread”

Now that we’ve taken care of that… get your FB account activated again and post “Great new day…the world is my oyster and Fuck anyone that feels differently”.

Now on this statement “but I can’t see a time where I will get peace” Did you think all of those years ago you’d be in a position to buy him out of your home? You worked damn hard to get to this point, but you did it. It may be more hard work to get him out of your head but you are certainly most capable of doing it. It may take time… it may take effort, it may seem impossible at times, but you can and dare I say will do it.

You can post whatever you like on your Facebook but you clearly have a snake in the grass on your friends list.

You should feel proud and your long term ex should keep his mouth shut.

ps. Don't deactivate your FB account because of this bully. Just adjust the privacy settings and ditch the non "mutual" friends. Its easy to find full instructions on how to do this on You Tube.. just pick the most recent one.

You've clearly been through an awful time. But if you are currently feeling that the only thing keeping you here is your children, it does sound like you really really need some supportive therapy to help you work through this... Please talk to your GP and get some help. Your children do love and need you, but you also need to take care of your self, both for your own benefit and theirs. Claim back the whole of your freedom.

Your children will soon be old enough to decide whether to have as much contact as they currently do. It doesn't sound good that your DD is scared to tell him she has failed an exam. People are allowed to fail. That's how they learn. Exams can be re taken. She shouldnt be afraid.

And do claim CMS... its fab for him 8 years on to be so abusive that you are afraid to claim, isn't it. Its a ploy that works. A real get out clause. Gather your evidence. Speak to CMS and see what can be done. Report him if necessary.

Then I’m glad you’re shot of him! However, personally, I wouldn’t have posted my private info on SM regardless! People post stuff like ‘go girl’ and ‘💪’ and swiftly move on and don’t really care…

Posting this kind of personal
stuff on SM is definitely not the sort of thing I would ever do…anyone who needed to know would already know! What is point of posts of posts saying ‘well done!?’ I can’t imagine who would care tbh…but then, I have needed validation from others 🤷🏼‍♀️ how sincere is a quick ‘good luck/well done…and a few emojis?

Bless you @fortygin You’ve done nothing wrong and everything right. You are a great example of strength and have shown your children what an Adult looks like. Think about asking your GP for a referral to counselling to help you overcome those feelings he has left you with. He has no control over you now, you just need to believe it. Nothing he can do or say need affect you. Live your life how you want. Share it with who you want on FB or anywhere you choose. You deserve it.

It will take awhile not to be affected by his threats or manipulation. I used find the intro song from Malcolm in the middle series, ‘You’re not the boss of me now’, on YouTube, and sing it 😊

Continue to log everything with the police. Stress you are afraid for your safety.
Ask to make a statement.
You would be amazed how a visit from the police can put bullys like him back in their box.
Bullys do not like to be exposed.
Shine a light on his behaviour so that he knows he will be held accountable for it.