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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel my wedding?

36 replies

nm1995 · 14/07/2025 17:23

Looking for some advice… my fiance and I are seriously considering cancelling our wedding booked for next year, for something more intimate. We recently had our 2nd child and are having to move house unexpectedly due to various circumstances. Obviously our finances are now changing and although we could still afford the wedding, I’m just getting a bit disillusioned with spending so much on one day. Additionally, some of our family members that we would have invited to the wedding haven’t even sent a message of congratulations after the birth of our baby, so I’m not sure I want to spend over 120 per head on them 🫠
I still want to have a wedding celebration but maybe more of an intimate ceremony and a “Happily ever after party“ vibe for afterwards.

Has anyone else cancelled their wedding in favour of a more intimate ceremony and party after? If so, what were the pros and cons to this?
Thank you in advance for any responses ❤️

OP posts:
Steelworks · 14/07/2025 17:49

Do it! Theres no obligation to have a big wedding.

The only concern is whether people have already spent out on accomadation to come to your wedding. However, if your wedding is next year, then that’s unlikely.

cariadlet · 14/07/2025 17:48

Congratulations on your new baby. 🎉

A small, stress free wedding with the people who really care about you and who are important to you sounds perfect.

Don't invite extended family out of a misplaced sense of obligation.

readingismycardio · 14/07/2025 17:48

Absolutely, do it!!! How much would you lose in deposits?

Pippa12 · 14/07/2025 17:47

We went abroad and got married with 50 of our nearest and dearest (all willing guests before I get a public bashing for a ‘destination wedding!’) It was absolutely perfect, married at 7pm and had a beach bbq watching the sunset.

Personally I’ve never seen the appeal of getting married with distant aunties, uncles and cousins you don’t know from Adam.

I’d vote cancel and make true memories with the people that really matter!

Have the best day whatever you decide!

AdoraBell · 14/07/2025 17:45

YANBU. We had a small wedding, in-laws weren’t happy about that but we stood firm. We paid, kept it down to what we could afford.

Don’t spend more than you and your DP can comfortably afford.

Hatty65 · 14/07/2025 17:41

Small celebration, spend the money on your home/child.

Much more sensible than forking out for a 'big day'.

ThymeandBasil · 14/07/2025 17:40

Ive not cancelled a big wedding but I have had a small intimate wedding and it was a wonderful happy occasion.

I think for all the reasons you mention you should have an intimate wedding with you, your future H and the people who really matter in your lives.

And congratulations on the new addition to your special family.

Original poster
nm1995 · 14/07/2025 17:35

I actually do have my dress already and love it so I’d wear it to whatever celebration we end up having.

OP posts:
Original poster
nm1995 · 14/07/2025 17:34

Nothanks17 · 14/07/2025 17:27

I've cancelled mine. Feel freed! We will elope at some point when my dress is ready, most people are twats and haven't bothered with us, so don't want to spend money we don't have to lavish people with nice food and entertainment when I would rather do it alone x

Honestly this is how we felt too. We’ve been guests at weddings of extended family members and I feel obligated to invite them to ours in return. But really we don’t speak to them very often if ever. And now that quite a few haven’t bothered to message about new DS it’s made the niggling feeling I had even stronger that we don’t want the big wedding that we thought we did!

OP posts:
Nothanks17 · 14/07/2025 17:27

I've cancelled mine. Feel freed! We will elope at some point when my dress is ready, most people are twats and haven't bothered with us, so don't want to spend money we don't have to lavish people with nice food and entertainment when I would rather do it alone x

Justagirl95 · 14/07/2025 17:27

No experience but sounds like a good idea to me!

Congrats on your new baby ❤️