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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not even bother packing - Chickenpox?

119 replies

Eyeofthelamp · 13/07/2025 10:22

My son was sent home from school on Thursday with the dreaded pox. He’s absolutely fine, but we’re due to
go on holiday in just over a week. I know I can get a fit to fly note before we go, BUT my little girl hasn’t had pox yet. She currently shows no sign of getting them but she will, won’t she? I know I can’t cancel our holiday due to exposure, but I also don’t want to go with the impending risk of her getting them abroad and then being stuck in another country for a week on my own, whilst my husband and son have to
go home.

If we cancel we stand to lose £4.5k, but I just can’t bring myself to even start packing. AIBU? What would you do in these circumstances? I’m feeling pretty crap as this is our only chance to get away this year due to other commitments, so it would be another full year without a holiday if we can’t go 😔

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:51

@GRex - it is proper doctor. He’s a paediatrician. Which is who everyone uses for children 0-18 where I live. He’s attached to the local hospital. Exactly same as a NHS equivalent.
its not a quack doctor

distinctpossibility · 13/07/2025 11:50

Not correct. There is evidence that if given post exposure it can prevent a child becoming symptomatic. However this evidence is easily Googleable so I am assuming OP has decided against this route since it is now a Sunday and most pharmacies are closed and they have had since Thursday to act.

https://www.cdc.gov/chickenpox/hcp/vaccine-considerations/index.html

https://healthclinics.superdrug.com/services/chickenpox-vaccination/

Varicella Vaccine Recommendations

Find routine recommendations, evidence of immunity, other considerations for varicella vaccine.

https://www.cdc.gov/chickenpox/hcp/vaccine-considerations/index.html

ARichtGoodDram · 13/07/2025 11:49

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:37

It’s exactly the same in uk ‘In the United kingdom Varilrix, a live viral vaccine[14] is approved from the age of 12 months, but only recommended for certain at risk groups.’. So it isn’t recommended still if your not in an at risk category

That is now changing. The JCVI have recommended it become part of the standard childhood immunisation schedule.

It's never been the case that the vaccine only lasted 10 or 20 years, but they could only ever say it was known to last that long as that's how long it had been in use.

It's now widely recognised from new studies that the effectiveness doesn't wear off leaving adults at risk, and there has been no notable increase in shingles cases (which was the bigger fear) in adults who have been vaccinated.

GRex · 13/07/2025 11:48

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:03

@GRex - I asked about the vaccine where I live. The doctor wouldn’t give it even though we would be paying private. He said they still don’t thinks it’s good enough as it’s risky for them then as adults if they don’t continue to be vaccinated as adults

It would be better for you to go to an actual medical doctor or pharmacist if you're looking for medical advice, and in future take care to only visit those with a license to practice medicine. A real doctor would be aware that the NHS didn't include it because they worried about uptake and too many people benefitting from herd immunity and therefore not catching chickenpox until adulthood. There are no efficacy concerns for those getting the vaccine despite multiple decades since it was first cleared for use. Actually it doesn't only protect against chickenpox, but also seems to prevent the immunised child from getting shingles in later life.

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:46

@Thatsrhesummeroverthen
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/varicella/hcp/about-vaccine.html

It’s estimated to last 10-20 years. They aren’t 100%. Same as most vaccines. Almost all vaccines only last that time.
So a 5 year old will likely run out between the age of 15-25 latest.

Ie I had MMR as a child. By mid 20s blood test showed the R part I no longer had immunity for so I had to have another R vaccine.

If you vaccinate a child, the chances of them still immune in middle age is slim. They are then higher risk of shingles as adult

About the Varicella Vaccine | CDC

Learn more about the dosage, administration, effectiveness, and duration of protection for varicella vaccines.

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/varicella/hcp/about-vaccine.html

Ssmiler · 13/07/2025 11:42

Went on a guide camp fri to sun aged 10: came out in chicken pox on the Sunday. Despite sharing a tent with six others no one else got it. Also shared a room with my sibling throughout and she didn’t get it either. So it’s not a definite that your second child will get it OP. Good luck

Thatsrhesummeroverthen · 13/07/2025 11:39

The NHS website says that booster doses of the chickenpox vaccine are not needed
https://www.nhs.uk/vaccinations/chickenpox-vaccine/

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:37

It’s exactly the same in uk ‘In the United kingdom Varilrix, a live viral vaccine[14] is approved from the age of 12 months, but only recommended for certain at risk groups.’. So it isn’t recommended still if your not in an at risk category

Varicella vaccine - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicella_vaccine#cite_note-VarilixWeb-14

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:33

@CountryQueen - he’s one of the top children’s doctors in the country. Luckily hes within 30min drive as he’s the leading allergy specialist also. So going against him would mean we couldn’t use for allergy stuff either. It’s not just him, I looked at reports in the city from vaccine specialist and they still don’t recommend here at all unless child is immune compromised etc. as like I say they said the chances that that child will be vaccinated every 10 years the rest of life is slim, and a 50 year old with chickenpox is worse than a 5 year old.
So you would have to strike off every doctor in country as none of them will
give it willingly

CountryQueen · 13/07/2025 11:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

It is if her daughter hasn’t been exposed, she might not get it from her brother.

Sounds like a localised issue for you then and probably completely irrelevant to the OP

JudyP · 13/07/2025 11:26

I never really ‘had’ it when my brother had chickenpox - nothing my mum could see anyway - years later when I was pregnant my midwife was concerned when I told her I hadn’t had chickenpox ( it’s bad to get it when you are pregnant I think) so we did a blood test and it showed that I must have had it - maybe one or 2 spots but wasn’t poorly at all - your daughter might be like that - imperceptible pox!

Fundayout2025 · 13/07/2025 11:21

SALaw · 13/07/2025 10:34

Zero certainty she’ll get it. Know of multiple examples where one child in the family got it and not the other, then years later the other child got it.

Yeah all 3 of mine had it years apart. 2 of them shared at bedroom as well

YorkshireIndie · 13/07/2025 11:20

My son waited till he was 5 to get chicken pox despite being in nursery rooms with children who had it. My daughter waited three weeks to get it and had to be sent home with it from nursery 🤔

dontcomeatme · 13/07/2025 11:19

My DC were exposed at the same time all the cousins were, big family gathering. My DC were the only 2 who didn't get the pox! I was on edge examing every spot but absolutely nothing. Bizarre. Your 2yo might not get it x

MelvinThePenguin · 13/07/2025 11:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CountryQueen · 13/07/2025 11:16

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:03

@GRex - I asked about the vaccine where I live. The doctor wouldn’t give it even though we would be paying private. He said they still don’t thinks it’s good enough as it’s risky for them then as adults if they don’t continue to be vaccinated as adults

That “doctor” wants striking off

CountryQueen · 13/07/2025 11:15

Oldlady62 · 13/07/2025 11:09

Vaccine woukd be ineffective if already exposed. 2 doses needed 4 week apart. Incubaton period 2 weeks . Very expensive too.

Very expensive? They’re paying £4.5k for a holiday, I think they can afford £150 for a vaccine

CountryQueen · 13/07/2025 11:14

Where do you live OP? After noticing people claiming “shortages” of the vaccine I’ve just had a nosey at various Boots pharmacies around the country and every single one I tried had multiple appointments available for tomorrow.

For what it’s worth, I didn’t catch chicken pox after an eighties pox party and neither did my friend. My eldest son didn’t catch them from his younger brother either.

MelvinThePenguin · 13/07/2025 11:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Oldlady62 · 13/07/2025 11:09

Christmastreesparkles · 13/07/2025 10:32

Have a look at getting the chickenpox vaccine for her, it's not guaranteed but it can reduce symptoms even if she has been exposed.

Vaccine woukd be ineffective if already exposed. 2 doses needed 4 week apart. Incubaton period 2 weeks . Very expensive too.

IndieRocknRoll · 13/07/2025 11:09

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:03

@GRex - I asked about the vaccine where I live. The doctor wouldn’t give it even though we would be paying private. He said they still don’t thinks it’s good enough as it’s risky for them then as adults if they don’t continue to be vaccinated as adults

You don’t need to go to a GP. We had it at boots. Superdrug offer it too.

Caspianberg · 13/07/2025 11:03

@GRex - I asked about the vaccine where I live. The doctor wouldn’t give it even though we would be paying private. He said they still don’t thinks it’s good enough as it’s risky for them then as adults if they don’t continue to be vaccinated as adults

mounjarowoes · 13/07/2025 11:02

GRex · 13/07/2025 10:55

Talk with your travel provider and insurer to see if you can delay the trip now. Likely she will catch within 2 weeks and have spots for 1-3 weeks.

I don't really understand why people don't bother to vaccinate and then complain that chickenpox is inconvenient. You've decided your children should have the illness instead, nobody ever gets to pick timing for a virus.

That's really unfair. Until recently clinical advice has been no chicken pox vaccine which is why it's not currently on the nhs childhood vaccinations list.

https://www.nursinginpractice.com/clinical/vaccination-and-infection/potential-introduction-of-chickenpox-vaccine-in-early-2026/

MelvinThePenguin · 13/07/2025 10:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

GRex · 13/07/2025 10:55

Talk with your travel provider and insurer to see if you can delay the trip now. Likely she will catch within 2 weeks and have spots for 1-3 weeks.

I don't really understand why people don't bother to vaccinate and then complain that chickenpox is inconvenient. You've decided your children should have the illness instead, nobody ever gets to pick timing for a virus.