So pi$$ed off being an unpaid travel agent - warning I'm ranting a bit

ZOMBIE

This thread is from July 2025

Maybe send an email to all invitees who are being cheeky next year with a link to the hotel’s website, and the trainline and say that you’re not able to do the bookings and this is the info they need. Then do your own and nobody else’s and stick to it.

Just share links and websites.
Anyone can book from anywhere online.

Your being completely unreasonable

just say no or crack in and don’t complain

It was probably because the first people she helped were travelling from abroad and naturally she wanted to be supportive and it mushroomed to helping people who ought to know their way around the uk

Well done you .. for both handling the stresses of historically dealing with these arrangements and also for recognising that now it is time to step back and allow the other 'adults' to step up and manage their own arrangements.

In your shoes I would be inclined to be the information provider, giving your friends the internet details of each booking platform for travel and accommodation This way, you'll be stepping back and empowering others to take responsibility for their own arrangements. If anyone complains (and I'm sure there will be comments made as this protocol has become the accepted 'norm' in your group), you can simply say that if anyone wants to take over the whole thing, they are more than welcome to do so as you have worn that mantle (unselfishly) was such a long time already. You could even suggest a rota for this annual event and see how that is received if they all still need 'hand holding' for travel arrangements. Remember, they are all adults and perfectly capable of doing this - despite any protestations.

Send a group email a week after the trip this year. Let everyone know it was lovely to see them all again this year. Also, that as much as you love seeing them all, arranging bookings and transportation for everyone has become both too stressful and too time consuming.

Pass on the hotel details and tell them to book soon for next year.

Just make sure you’ve already made your own booking first.

You would be unreasonable not to go next year or to curtail your own holidays in any way though.

I think what you also have to remember, the 5 different couples don’t realise you’re acting as travel agent for the other 4 couples. They don’t appreciate you’re juggling 5 balls, they think it’s just them and they’re simple request

Get an actual travel agent involved that everyone can book through. That’s what they do and get paid for. It’s literally their job to do what you are doing and doesn’t cost you anything. They get paid through their booking commissions.

I don’t understand how it’s easier for them to have you booking things – surely that means any changes / requests have to go through you? It just adds a layer of complexity for no benefit. Really bizarre and to echo others I wouldn’t skip a year (unless you really want to stay with the dog) but just say you’ll be sorting your own booking only this year, can’t wait to see them there etc etc.

It does not take that much effort in booking somewhere these days so people should be able to book themselves in. Surely they can sort themselves out.

Just sent them dates and links and let them crack on,.

I am organising a work trip to Germany in a couple of weeks. I am responsible for agenda and timings of the work bit and informed others there might be a dinner one night. Beyond giving timings and suggesting the hotel where a colleague and I have booked - the rest are bloody grown ups and can sort themselves. Just say no.

What a load of CFs.

Just do what you said and tell them to change their own booking!!!

I'm not even sure how you even got yourself into this situation.

YABU, just because there’s no way it should have come to this.

If you can’t say no just be deliberately vague, “sorry Pam, I’ve not got the details here”, “not sure what our plans are yet”, “
we’re playing it by ear this year”, “sorry not sure I think Dave booked it”… all followed by “really don’t wait for me, best if you just go ahead and book for yourself.” And repeat. If they persist ignore or you may just have to say something really direct “really sorry Pam, but I’m under the cosh at the moment with work and kids, best if you just sort your own booking out.”

Cheeky Fs will know the game is up!

Genuinely not being cheeky or sarcastic here, you say in your first post you dont want to give the location of the reunion as it would be quite outing but in subsequent posts you give a lot of info that I'd assume anyone who knows you would recognise instantly. It jumped out at me so I just wanted to point it out so if necessary you can be more aware/careful in future if you really want to stay anonymous and not have the people your post is about recognise you. ( I'm not someone who knows you dont worry lol)

Anyway to your actual question obviously it's up to you to decide if you want to attend next year for absolutely any reason or even no reason but please dont let not wanting to be used as a TA put you off going, you can and absolutely should say no to booking for everyone else but if you want to go then you should go

You know ex-pat friends can use the internet and book a hotel too.

next time someone asks, just send them the link to where you are staying. They can figure out the rest.

Next year just say that last year you had a lot of changes to deal with and going forward you can’t manage everyone’s bookings for them. Tell them what train and hotel you are booking and invite them to do the same. No need to skip the event altogether.

It sounds like the booking has really spiraled. I find "It's probably easier if you book yourself" a good response to people who ask me to book for them.

If she lost you through one word choice, why (genuinely) are you commenting?

As so many times before on Mumsnet, the first post nailed it. I wouldn’t even send them links because that just reinforces their faulty thinking that you can somehow do this better than other people.

just say you have retired from organising anyone’s travel and look forward to seeing them there.

go on, do it. The more you do it the easier it will get and you will wonder why you ever put up with this nonsense.

as for your own plans, go or don’t go. What ever you want to do.

Enjoy the rest of your life.

Be careful you don’t end up organising for everyone despite not going yourself!

I really can’t understand why your friends prefer to use you as a middle man than simply book a room themselves. Seems to overcomplicate it to me.

Just tell them it’s better that they book it themselves so if there are any changes etc they can make them.