To ask you for your best revenge ideas, real or imagined

I wonder how many times this thread has been bookmarked.

Buy a different variety of grass seeds and plant them in a rectangle shape about 6 x 2ft. Bonus points if it’s visible from the main bedroom window.

Leave a typed note, folded and a bit crumpled , down the back of a shelf or cupboard, as if it had slipped down there, but sticking out a bit so it will be found, saying “[Ex’s name] I know what you did. You won’t get away with it”

Leave an infrasound generator under the floorboards in the bedroom. Bonus points if you can find one with a timer to prolong the battery life as long as possible.

I rather think he worked for his majesty's constabulary!

The life sized cut out is brilliant and totally legal.

We have a cut out in the cellar at work of a famous sportsman from a promo a couple of months ago (no idea why my boss hasnt binned it but hey ho). My colleague returned today after finishing Uni for the summer, didnt know about it and screamed the place down when she went in and saw it.

It really threw her, poor thing. I was very sympathetic and moved it so it didnt happen again (we have a couple of returners over the next couple of weeks). Scared the shit out of me the first time I saw it out in full view in the pub!

But a manky pair of arseholes who no one likes? I would go full on horror character.....like a Mummy or Nosferatu or someone with a massive axe ready to strike, something like that.

Was he a butcher ? 🤣🤣

I love the paedo idea.
Even better wait until he moves to his new place.

Let the dust settle for a month or two.
Then call or email crimestoppers and tell them he is downloading or distributing illegal images of minors.

The police will be duty bound to investigate and will likely take phones laptops etc.
This is extreme though and should only be used if the person was a real twat or a domestic abuser.

Plant Japanese knotweed.
Plant bamboo .
Buy rats and put them in attic.
Hide fish where you can.
Pour hot fat/grease down the sink.
Send a cocky rude letter introducing yourself as a new neighbour from him.

Blimey i would hate to upset you.

Buy a big firework do not light it i repeat do not light it.

Write next time you will be a goner and so will your house flat etc on a piece of paper wrap the paper round the firework ideally a big rocket one sellotape it and put it through their letterbox.
It will worry them sick.
BTW put latex gloves on and get someone else to write on the paper dont leave your dabs or your own hand writing in case law enforcement get called.

Write CUNT on the lawn in weedkiller.

The sponsor a pot bellied pig lol.

When i still lived at home a neighbours ex cheated on her with a probationer on the late shift.

She kicked him out then did the pig thing.
Guess what he did for a living?.

Put a plastic skeleton in a rocking chair with a wig on ala Norma Bates lol.

Yep nothing devalues a property more.

Was it the multi storey car park on Thomas Street?. The one that has the old brown tiles that the arndale center had on.

If so ha ha you need a second mortgage to park there for a week.

There was a gang of builders converting the semi next to my friends into flats.
These 'men' were absolutely vile, radio on full blast, swearing af the top of their voices and discussing their sex lives in graphic detail. Cat calling the young girls on their way to the comp, my friend couldn't let her dcs's play in the garden, it was a nightmare.
The house they were working on had an old outside toilet that the builders would use, so late at night when it was quiet she would sneak next door and very, very carefully dust the toilet door handle and the pull chain handle with itching powder😬

My sister found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her. This was in the days before mobile phones.

He was in the army at the time so she rang his base, ended up speaking to his CO and explaining that she had had STI tests, he was refusing to speak to her and she had something that she could only have got from him, so he needed to be tested.

He ended up with all the tests, and it being the army was round the base in record time. Apparently his nickname was Clap Carl until the day he left!

I discovered I was the OW so dumped him then told him I appeared to have a STI, and he really needed to get himself checked.

how they check men for STIs is not pleasant.

wanker.

Buy a load of blank door keys on eBay along with some key tags. Write his phone number on the key tags and attach to key and scatter across every bar, cafe and shop in his city. His phone will be ringing off the hook with people saying they’ve found his key!

Wasn't that Tim Shaw, now of Car SOS fame?! I remember hearing about that!

My ex was a piece of shit living hell and his mother and sister hated me for no reason he left me for someone younger because i was ugly and fat.
With in 6 months of him leaving i slept with his brother his best friend and his brother inlaw.
NO REGRETS.

Chop some fresh liver and throw it behind the fridge. When THAT starts to rot...

By the way - I love you all revengeful lot. So many nice ideas.

This is clever!

When I go pets at home I always think about buying lots of boxes those live crickets and worms and letting them lose in a situation like this.

I did that years ago here in the uk.

It bloody well worked.
I got my idea from a episode of only fools and horses as a kid. If it was good enough for Pauline Harris it was for me.

As a teen i had a short term boyfriend who's family thought they were more than they really were.

His mother made a snotty comment about my now late Mum.

They lived in a large semi and two bedrooms were mainly unused and all had a landline phone in them.

When they went on holiday and left my then boyfriend at home he didnt want to go with them. I called round then said i needed the loo.

I went into one of the bedrooms that wasnt used much picked the phone up and dialled the talking clock but left it off the hook.

I went downstairs and told him i had to be up early next day and went. The next day i told him i didnt want to see him again.

About two months later i bumped into him in Tesco he stormed over to me and my Mum and said to me it was you wasnt it you stupid evil cow?. I said dead innocently what you going on about. He said you know it cost my mum and dad a few grand. He was red in the face.

Oh boy i still laugh about it.

There was a famous story years ago - probably apocryphal, but still funny - about a DJ on Kerrang Radio flirting with Jodie Marsh on air and saying he’d leave his wife and kids for her. His wife promptly put his £25k Lotus ESpirit on eBay for 50p. It sold within minutes.