Found out my family hid my Husband’s behaviour from me for the last 2 years

Husband is totally to blame here... it was his actions that put everybody else in this situation. Sister and mother may not have done the right thing, but were trying to. Don't blame them, they didn't start it all off.

Family is obviously very important to you. It is not so important to your husband, he caused all of this.

I just wanted to wish you well and hope you work it out with your sister and mother.

I doubt this is going to end well, if I were you I would choose my mum and sister rather than the sleaze bag of a husband who has put you in this position. He knew what he was doing and ultimately relied on the knowledge that your sister would then be in such a difficult position.

Dont kid yourself it’s for the children, it’s just easier for the moment but will wreck your brain.

This.

Your sister and by extension, your mother were only put in this position by your revolting husband. Your sister is the victim. Whilst her withholding the information and how she eventually told you might not be the best, none of this would have happened if not for your husband.
I think you have your priorities skewed here OP.

I would urge you to let your family off the hook. When it comes to family members’ relationships i was always told that it is best to stay out of it unless asked to intervene. It takes a lot of discipline to do this, but it is usually best to allow a family members relationship to run its course.

me and me.

Yep. My sympathies are now entirely with the sister. You've proved her right. She was clearly going to get the blame whatever she did.

Not in this case. The sister and mum were misguided, not untrustworthy. That accolade goes to DH.

I have come across this sort of behaviour so often and it is incredibly disappointing: Women get angry with family members who had the best of intentions, while husband who is the cause of all the trouble, gets let off the hook. Absolutely appalling.

Most likely thing I think , if she had said yes is OPS husband would start an affair…
I wouldn't like if he was my husband ..

Anyway OP , you’ve decided to give him a chance , everyone giving out yards & yards on this is not helpful to you …
I do hope things work out for you & you need your mom & sister , best of luck with it all x

It was 2 years ago. Don't break up your family over this. What exactly did he do? Divorce is very hard and if you have children you will have a relationship with DH for many years. If this is a frequent issue then a rethink is needed. I know someone who did a lot worse than made a pass at someone and they covered it up. However the couple are still happily married so surely it's best to move on.
….

He has looked elsewhere hoping for sex and chose her sister! How humiliating for the op! Your reply is telling her to forget about her self esteem and allow herself to be disrespected. Just awful of you.

when ready, sit your sister down and say that if anything happens again you need to know immediately so you can make a decision about your husband. Sit your mother down and say the same.

Why are you punishing your sister and mother when you did exactly what they knew you would? You are pulling away from them and blaming them and your husband gets off scott free. If he gets a chance why don't they considering he's caused all this

im shocked your mum and sister kept it from you. You needed to know so you could make a decision about it. It wasn’t their decision to make.

in my experience damned if you do, damned if you don’t tell.
there’s no way of coming out of it well for your sister and what makes it worse is your husband putting your sister in that position.

what would have happened if she’d said yes?

So your family is being punished and your husband gets a rather unconvincing warning?

Were they ever right not to tell you!

This is her SISTER???

I never belive women with sleezy men who act like they had no idea. Sleezy men are far to fucking obvious and don’t care, yes they are good at the “ o I didn’t mean it” “ I was just joking” shit but, no absolutely no way your with a man like that and don’t see the signs. Yes there are men, and women good at hiding affairs, but that’s different as these things can be hidden, naturally sleezy men are so fucking obvious to everyone so I don’t buy the person they are with not knowing.

My guess is mum and sister probably thought you wouldn’t believe them as many women in these situations don’t. I’ve been that messanger who’s been shit on several occasions, I now keep my mouth shut.

To those blaming the sister for not saying anything, how many of you have had to deal with a sleazebag, plenty I bet. How many told his wife/partner? Especially after the 1st incident.

Various comments to her and a pass at her, over a two year period? No, he’s be out of my house. And definitely blame him. He did the crime, not them, although I can see why are are upset.

In the 2nd post she says the sex toy incident happened when sister was single. Also sister has a partner, not husband, so probably a new boyfriend.

Sounds like sister's relationship is relatively new, I think sistervwas single when it started.

I’m so, so sorry to read this OP. What a horrible, horrible situation you are in ☹️
i agree with those others who have said , he’s a sleaze bag. Alcohol tends to allow us to let our guard down. And what we can all see is that your husband fancies your sister, has - on multiple occasions - tried to proposition her & made frankly disgusting comments & remarks. I don’t see how you CAN get past this fact alone? On top of that if your husband is saying these things to your sister I would put money on him doing it to other women/colleagues in his life. I wouldn’t trust him at.all. I totally get your upset with you mum & sister but I think they were in a really crappy situation that YOUR husband put them in. Forgive them but for the love of god ditch your husband.