Could you be with someone with alcohol problems?

I do think lots of people have addictions which direct their lives. I would prefer not to judge but to look at the impact.

You mention angry outbursts when they can't cope with something - this isn't exclusive to alcoholics but that doesn't mean it's something you need to put up with.

If I was in a relationship and thought it was an issue I'd be asking whether they think they have a problem and want to change, if yes I'd support for a while but give up if they aren't truly up for it or if/when it appears that they can't beat it.

I realise that last bit sounds awful but if its negatively impacting you and cannot be changed what other choice is there?

I certainly wouldn't start a relationship with an alcoholic or continue a new one.

No. Because you will never ever be more important than alcohol. Unless they are in firm recovery and extremely vigilant. But no I wouldn’t be with someone in active addiction; you really can’t help them anyway. Cliche, but they have to do the work themselves, then think about potential relationships 🙂

No way.

It's a disease, so it's not as simple as just kicking them out.

I wouldn't start a relationship, or impose angry behaviour on kids, but if it's just 2 adults, I would possibly move out until they go to rehab, but I wouldn't end the relationship completely either.

No, because the addiction will come before everything else in their life. You can't fix them, yes you can be supportive but it will drain the life out of you. They might feel a little guilt about that from time to time, but it's fleeting, the drink comes first, or the drugs come first, or the gambling comes first.
The need to fulfil that addiction trumps everything else. If you're prepared to be lied to, stolen from and abused, go ahead.

No.

My DH died in March at 65 at home vomiting blood all over the bedroom floor.

I consider myself - and him - lucky that he died before developing Alcohol Related Dementia.

If no children were involved, it was someone I had a very long history with, they were a happy drunk, and they could manage enough sober times to function in society then maybe.

An angry drunk? No. I've been there and there's no way on earth I'd do it again.

My former partner died at the age of 35 due to alcohol and drug addiction . I felt like his Mum not his girlfriend . The alcohol come before anyone and anything . We couldn’t go anywhere coz we always had to go to the pub or a shop to buy cans . He had a serious accident and ended up in a bad way yet within days he used to sneak out the hospital across the car park to a newsagents on an housing estate near to the hospital to get cans .

You can’t just go shopping coz he would want to go to the pub first or “leave me here and come back when you’re finished “. The amount of holidays or nights away he ruined coz of drinking (and drugs) .

I wouldn’t do it again no .

I wouldn't like to be with that person, no. I don't drink and am not prone to having outbursts of anger, so I can't relate to it. I don't like temper tantrums in adults. It demonstrates a severe lack of control.

My dad and my ex-fiance were alcoholics and no way would I stay with one. They can ruin your life and why would you let them?

I'm now married to a man who rarely drinks and it's a breath of fresh air.

And it's not just a now problem. Alcohol induced early onset dementia is a real problem. Do you really want spend your your life caring for an alcoholic?

I stayed until it became blatantly obvious that he prioritised alcohol over me and the kids. I even had to ask him to lay off the booze for a couple of weeks so he could drive me to hospital to give birth to dc2. He didn't, and I still stayed until that dc was 3.

Life is too short. Ditch the alcoholic and live YOUR life op.

Not a chance. Because I can literally choose someone without those problems and no amount of love is worth the hell of someone else's addiction- especially if I can opt out.

My perspective is that I've never had or been around a problem drinker - parent, partner, child, relative etc so its so easy to see how simple life can be and have the bar set that its just alien to me rely on alcohol. I'm so unexposed that it's easy to draw a No and Never line.

Even if somebody was a recovering addict I would avoid them like the plague. I don't believe people can really change, and I would always be waiting for them to relapse.I once ended s relationship because a guy admitted he had smoked for a year 10 years ago and found it hard to give up. Cross addiction is a thing, and I couldn't trust that he wouldn't develop a drink or drug problem at a later stage.I grew up with an alcoholic parent so I have no trust.

Had an alcoholic stepfather. It was hell.

As someone who had alcohol problems when they were younger, absolutely no fucking way.

No. Went through alcoholism via my brother many years ago and it was horrific. He has been dry for over 30 years thankfully, but the trauma of that time has stayed with me. I'm funny about people who drink too much too often and keep my distance for my own well-being. It's a terrible addiction and I wouldn't hang around if my date/boyfriend/partner/spouse was showing signs of being unable to drink in moderation. I don't think anyone who hasn't had direct experience of alcoholism has any idea of just how awful it is.

No. Married or not, I wouldn't stay with someone so dependent on alcohol..that's not a partnership. Drinking would impact so much upon any chance of a normal life.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober 30+ years.

I wouldn’t stay if he started drinking. One drink and I’d be gone. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Absolutely no way. I stay away from undisciplined drunks, and I see any kind of addiction as a weakness. I am not willing to spend my precious time putting up with someone else’s unnecessary bs, drama and lack of willpower. Let them sort it out. I’m neither a martyr, nor their saviour. But that’s just me. I’m ruthless 😈😄

Depends. I wouldn't want to be with someone that had violent and angry outbursts whether they were a drinker or not. The drinking is largely irrelevant.

Some people just drink a bit too much to relax. I wouldn't have much of an issue with that. But someone turning violent and abusive through drink which happens with some people no way.

You get functioning and dysfunctional alcoholics, it is not the same for everyone.

No way , having an alcoholic sibling was bad enough but I could go home and leave them to it. It would be 10 times worse to have that behaviour in my home. I'd run a million miles away from anyone like that with no apologies

No, it was bad enough being best friends with someone with that kind of alcohol problem, let alone being in a relationship with them

I'm a recovering alcoholic and have been clean almost eight years, it's very hard. You have to want it more than anything else. If the person you are in a relationship with is not in that place, unfortunately, there isn't anything you can do. He has to want it and make the changes himself. You can't fix him.

No. Anyone who stays with a problem drinker and makes excuses for them or thinks it will get better is deluding themselves. Supporting an alcoholic can easily become enabling which protects them from the consequences of their drinking and delays the rock bottom required for them to seek help because they want to stop.