Could you be with someone with alcohol problems?

No, I couldn't be in a relationship with an alcoholic.
I hope you're ok @DaytonVlogger and that you're in a position to do what you need to, to ensure your own happiness and wellbeing.

If you read AA and Al-Anon literature then it explains why staying sober isn’t just a case of using will power.

“It is not their fault”
This is a massive excuse and you know it.
Malaria a disease, alcoholism isn’t.

No. I’d never choose to be with any kind of addict. Gambling would be my first one to walk out on, but alcohol would be soon after that.

Reading @BMW6’s post would be enough tbh. What a hellish thing to go through.

I work in an NHS team for a condition that gets more common with age. The male alcoholics we see are usually best supported by their ex-wives, and the female alcoholics by their children. That’s moving in a way but it also shows that it’s a kind of lifelong ruin to the whole family.

If you can't stop alcoholism with will-power then how are there so many alcoholics who no longer drink? It's not like AA provides a course of medication or bespoke therapy.

Alcoholism is an addiction. Addictions can be very tough to overcome. But unless the addict was forced to consume the substance that they became addicted to, they hold responsibility for
continuing with that addiction rather than taking steps to deal with it. They're not helpless pawns onto which addiction fell on them out of a clear blue sky. They worked at it.

My mum was a heavy drinker.

It's a hard no from me because of the past trauma.

I don't have any sympathy for it.

It did teach me a good lesson - you can't change someone, they have to want it.

no

Im married to a binge alcoholic. Not recommended...

Just to say that alcoholism is a disease. It’s very easy for a non-alcoholic to blame the other person as not having enough will power. You can’t stop alcoholism with just will power. It is also really hard to be sympathetic towards alcoholics but it is not their fault. (From someone who lives with one).

I hate that society has been convinced to call alcoholism an illness or a disease. The underlying reasons someone drinks can be a mental illness or a serious issue that needs to be addressed by the health system, but the behavior itself is not an illness. It is an unhealthy coping mechanism that destroys the people forced to live with the perpetrator. Calling it an illness excuses the damage they cause.

I say illness as that seems to be an accepted term. It doesnt come close to covering the hurt/guilt/worry loving someone with an alcohol addiction brings

No that would be one of the few things that would end my marriage for. I grew up an alcoholic parent I assure you it’s an illness that affects the whole family.

I ended a 7 year relationship 6 weeks ago...we didnt live together and thats how i put up with his drinking for so long...he was moderating himself at the weekends when we were together but drinking a bottle of rum a night during the week...He got worse as the years went on and our weekends seemed to revolve around alcohol too...once he'd had a few he'd become tetchy and argumentative...making digs and snide comments.
I regret not ending it sooner.

I tried and I stayed far longer than I should have out of a sense of responsibility. But alcoholics who are still drinking really can't be in relationships, their only real relationship is with alcohol.
The anger, violence, and walking on eggshells was one part, but there was also the covering up for him, the constant worry of never knowing where he was and whether he would make it home alive, let alone when he would come home and in what state.

Breaking point for me was falling pregnant and realising that I had to have a termination as I couldn't bring a child into the world with this man as their dad. It took me another year to leave, but that was definitely the catalyst.

Twenty years later and he's now a sixty year old man, living with his dad, not working still drinking. A sad waste of a life. I'm glad I didn't waste mine with him.

Absolutely not

Not sure of the voting choices.

No, I couldn’t live with it. My Dad is an alcoholic, currently sober, but it’s just such an awful thing to live with.

Nope. I divorced my alcoholic ex husband. It’ll only get worse. We lost our house.

Nope. Was seeing a fella a couple of years ago I quickly discovered was alcoholic. He worked his way through my small stash of booze which I didn’t notice till after I dumped him. He’d make up a g&t before bed time and hide it in the back of the fridge (not very well, I saw it!). By 9am it was gone (he’d drunk it!).

Days out were centered around the pub and by 11am he’d get agitated and aggressive. Was fine once he’d had a pint.

finally straw for me was when he turned up at mine to give me and my DC a lift and he’d had a drink or 3. Ditched him that night.

Absolutely not. If already married/in a committed relationship I would persevere and help them get help. If they had no interest in getting help or repeatedly relapsed, I would end it.
I’d never enter into a relationship with someone who was already an alcoholic.

Not a chance. Been there done that, would never tolerate an alcoholic ever again.
It's a shitty life

I wouldn't again. I left one wish I never met him

Absolutely not. My father was an alcoholic...I'd never willingly put myself in that situation.

Look up Pancreatitis.

My dad’s just been in intensive care, we almost lost him. He was in hospital for weeks and lost all his mobility. He’s very lucky to be alive and it’s taking a long time learn to walk again and there’s still a chance all his organs could fail (he’s 58).

He was never a secret or aggressive drunk, but drank every single night and weekend all his life.

I wouldn’t want this for myself at all. I’d leave if my partner wasn’t willing to get help.

Certainly not.

I tried. I really tried. For 4 years I gave absolutely everything in me. I am an educated, savvy, sensible snd strong woman but I found myself compromising myself, and making excuses to friends and family far too many times and crying far far too much than I could ever justify. It ruined me. I wanted to help him. To fix him. But in the end it became me having to fix myself because of what I'd voluntarily put myself through. I couldn't ever do it again.