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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not let DD have a sleepover with the girl she is going out with?

155 replies

weebarra · 13/06/2025 13:08

DD is 11, in her last year of primary school in Scotland. She is the youngest of 3, her oldest brother is 17. Not that it matters, but he is bisexual.
DD has recently started ‘going out’ with another girl she knows from out of school activities, different primary but they’ll be in the same class at high school. They’ve just had their P7/S1 transition days.
DD would like her girlfriend to come for a sleepover.
I’ve said no as their relationship is not just that of friends. I know they are 11/12, but DD herself says it’s a different feeling. I’ve tried to explain that I wouldn’t let her have a sleepover with a boy either, but she’s very angry with me and that I’m disgusting to think that anything sexual would happen between them at this age. AIBU?

OP posts:
neverbeenskiing · 13/06/2025 13:15

Your house, your rules. But I think you run the risk that in future she may try to 'hide' girlfriends from you and claim they are just friends.

missmollygreen · 13/06/2025 13:14

Marble10 · 13/06/2025 13:10

YABU. So she is not allowed any friends incase something sexual happens?
Girls at that age start to have sleepovers, it’s normal!

Girl she is going out with, not a friend.

Cocomelonhauntsme · 13/06/2025 13:13

Oh tricky. I think I'd go with the line. It has always been the rule that romantic partners can't stay over (ever/ until youre 18/ married). Youve told me you like her as more than a friend and I fully support and respect that therefore I am putting in the same rules your older siblings were subjected to in regards to the person/ gender they liked.

I'm not saying you are going to do anything sexual and I trust and love our communication but youre getting older and I don't want to start something I'd have to put a stop to.

Here's what we can do, have her over and you can play in your bedroom with doors open. We will drop you to the cinema etc etc

safetyfreak · 13/06/2025 13:12

I am in a similar situation but my DD has just turned 13,

I would allow it, as I don't believe they are at that age anything sexual would happen between them. My daughter cringes when I mention it to her.

Maybe I feel different in a couple of years...

Marble10 · 13/06/2025 13:10

YABU. So she is not allowed any friends incase something sexual happens?
Girls at that age start to have sleepovers, it’s normal!