My colleague gives me the rage!

It denotes a difference between the physical and the cultural.

Each post from the OP complaining about her suggests more that she's missing a difference related to hearing.

'It's an open plan office and if you are within listening distance you can naturally hear ppls conversations. Theres no need to turn your head to listen.'

Not always, you don't. And yes, for some people, there is a need.

Phoning another team when there's all this background noise around, workplace phones can be absolutely rubbish and the other teams might have even more noise, music, speak very quickly, quietly or with a strong accent - or worst of all, insist upon having their phones on sodding handsfree - can be impossible.

I've got people at work who I can understand clearly, they don't make a thing about me looking away to concentrate on what they are saying, don't insist upon eye contact at the expense of lipreading, don't whisper or try to keep their faces as impassive and unmoving as possible (by the way, Botox and fillers are absolute bastards for anybody in that sense). That doesn't mean I'll be able to hear or understand everybody on the planet.

She sounds socially awkward. If you are an established team it can feel difficult to join in when either a couple of people or the team are merrily chatting in the office. She’s probably listening because she doesn’t know when or how to interject.

In terms of dealing with queries it could be that she feels that she doesn’t have the experience to deal with the difficult queries or doesn’t want to deal with them for fear of stepping on people’s toes. Colleagues can get arsey if you’re new and pick up the more interesting or complex stuff.

You are making assumptions that she’s annoying and/or lazy but I can guarantee if you actually spoke to her to find out why she doesn’t join in, make social chit chat or take the more complicated queries her answer would be very different.

You don’t sound very nice. Suggest you use this for a bit of self reflection. You might also want to set up a system whereby the queries are dealt with in order so everyone gets a fair crack at both the simple and difficult queries.

@FamousFriends hilarious, we have someone like this who talks us through everything he has to do as normal part and parcel of his job.

OP, when she asks where you're up to with work, do you ask her why she needs to know?

No idea why that font came out like that, I've tried editing and it makes no difference!

when dealing with queries, she'll only do the "easy" ones as she doesn't want to / won't speak to / mither other colleagues/ departments to resolve the issue. We do them instead.

Have a staff meeting, point out that there isn't a fair distribution of difficult queries currently and work out a way of allocating all queries on the basis that the person allocated has to deal with whatever comes their way and can't slide out of the difficult ones.

I'm assuming that she only gets away with just doing the easy jobs and speaking to colleagues as though she is in charge by asking about their progress with their work because she is managed by her mother.

Her colleagues will feel inhibited from speaking to their manager about her because they would be criticising her own daughter.

I went to uni with someone like this for years. She has significant mh issues bless her, but is the instagram vs reality type of person. I cringe following her but can’t help it 😂😂! She told us all once in a lecture, that you have to teach every lesson as if Ofsted were watching! Let me tell you if that happened I would be dead by now!

I work with someone who, when I asked her name, told me it was "Mrs Beauchamp" like we're in the 1950s. She narrates what she is doing ("I'm just going to file these papers and then have a cup of tea. And maybe a biscuit!") and you can guarantee within five minutes of any conversation starting she will bring up her children. And she laughs at her own "jokes".

d/Deaf?

She sounds shy/socially awkward and lacking in confidence. And unaware of how to initiate conversation.
Sometimes i think I've been like her . I don't think I am her though!

As a person, she's okay, although her nosiness irritates me massively and the checking up on my work is a bug bear too.
The bigger issue I am unhappy about is the nepotism at play. Her mum has given alot of our work to her and me and my other colleague have been left with the donkey work.

Ok so she’s not nosey because as you say, you’re having a conversation that can be heard by anyone in close proximity anyway and so the fact she looks at you is irrelevant.

You are jealous of her that she is getting what you believe to be an easier ride because of her mum.

That’s not her issue, that’s an issue of the mum (who I assume is your manager).

You need to speak to your manager and explain how unfair it is.

Is it a family business?

I used to work with someone who drove me crackers. She was good at her job and the senior guys loved her but she would talk to you as though you were a child (I was younger than her but slightly senior).

Once a client came in for a meeting. He was very early so I showed him to an empty office so he could catch up on emails etc, checked whether he needed anything (he didn’t). All good. Then Sandra saw him and said “Well, have you offered him a drink?!?” in aghasted tones. After I said yes, she made a point of bustling over to him to check. Honestly, it was weird.

What's wrong with bananas?

The first one I can see where you’re going with that. The third one, you could maybe argue it, at a stretch, but I’m not convinced.

Literally no idea about the other two 🤷‍♀️

And there you have it, in a nutshell. She’s strategically placed to get the gossip. If you think she’s listening in, give her something to listen to, something that can be proven factually incorrect that she can pass on, she will stop doing it.
either that or she is listening in as she knows she got the job through nepotism which is a huge bugbear of mine. She knows it and knows others know it!

I worked with someone like that re getting through work quicker than me, as the boss brought up, I came across an email she’d sent out in response to a query, we used to have pre written ones and just fill in blanks, they weren’t filled in, she was just picking up the email and sending it out as was, didn’t matter who sent it as we didn’t put names on, that was the day I had my eyes opened so to speak, and I let her know I was onto her. She stopped looking so smug around the office.

Yes, my colleague is very annoying. It got so bad that I had to tell her about herself about a week ago and now we no longer communicate unless it's strictly business (which hasn't been much). I have to admit it's been a relief not to have to deal with her quirks for the past week. 😂

YES! Someone started in our team about 2 years ago (annoyingly, the interviews were when I was on holiday) and I despise her. She made me savage. Sometimes just seeing her made me furious and, at times, I had to step away as ai simply couldn't bear her. It was hard to articulate why at first - she just really grated on me. Everyone thought I was mad! I then started to notice what a terrible team player she was and how power hungry she was. Over time, everyone else in the team has come to realise how annoying and narcissistic she is, which has made me so happy! I've moved to a different role and one of the reasons was to get away from her... just thinking about her is making me ragey!!!

Worked in a kitchen with a lad who snorked his snot backwards and wiped his nose with his hand/sleeve, never once saw him wash. He was a chef. I never ate there.

Eeerr! Rather a sniffer upper than a snot blower who leaves dirty tissues anywhere and never washes their hands! The bar is very low, I know🙄

If the manager is her mother, you are well and truly stuffed. The picking the easy things and only taking not giving (so to speak) are concrete things to raise, but I think you will get nowhere.