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Original poster

Our new Neighbours and my loud children

485 replies

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 17:53

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:11

@WorryBear yes . True . I am worried about that and last thing I want is wars , I just meant I could too make her life horrible ( if I was as nasty as she has been )

I moved to a nice village for peace and a slower life 😂. so no wars

I will Have to swallow my pride and be extra nice . Knowing what I know she can be like

thanks for advise

OP posts:
CaptainFuture · 15/05/2025 21:10

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:09

@Blushingm true but I will try it not be more than 3 days a week . So hoping it isn’t too disruptive for her .

But hey, if it is... your plan is 'to make her life life hell' nice 😬

CaptainFuture · 15/05/2025 21:09

foreverblowingbubbless · 15/05/2025 21:05

Blimey that doesn't give a very nice picture of you 😬

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Yep and concerning as a person in a place of trust for the care of young dc!!

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:09

@Blushingm true but I will try it not be more than 3 days a week . So hoping it isn’t too disruptive for her .

OP posts:
Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:08

@PointsSouth they are a lucky family to live next door to you. That was my point on here when I mentioned she doesn’t have children or ever wanted them . Was only to make that point that I think that’s where the lack of her understanding comes from for my own children . You remember the noises fondly .

OP posts:
Blushingm · 15/05/2025 21:07

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:00

@ExpressCheckout hi thanks for this advise .

erm , I have introduced her to my boys. Who gave her biscuits when we moved in and she seemed to like them . But it was then she told me she had never liked children. she didn’t like the young children who lived previously to us either . They were learning instruments so she hated that .

So I wouldn’t naturally follow up with come round and enjoy some time with my children .

But yes you’re right I will tell her about my plans moving forward . I Hve told her to please knock if there is an issue .

I also will never have more than 3 children in my care .it will also only be part time. So I felt like it wouldn’t be much different to my own kids having friends over which is why I considered not telling her . But yes i will tell her . But hopefully parking should not be an issue.

Not much difference from you having your DC friends over - well it will be as it will be daily and not just odd occasions……

WorryBear · 15/05/2025 21:06

@Marley11 I personally wouldn't go with the belief you can make her life hell. You are in a weaker position as you have your children. I would be very, very nice to her and pray we reach some understanding.
I have lived with difficult neighbour and it was HELL ... I hated it and now every time I think of moving I more research the neighbours than the house this is how much this scarred me ... because I can tell you one thing if her 1st action is to make noise at 4.30 am, oh boy ... she is nasty!
Good luck and I hope you find the right way to reach a peaceful resolution to the situation. :)

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 21:06

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 21:02

You obviously haven’t read the original 😁

Show quote history

The version I know, and everyone else knows, goes back to 1812.

How old do you think I am?

foreverblowingbubbless · 15/05/2025 21:05

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:54

@WorryBear true

I believe I am right that her behaviour was childish. And I am right about how hard I try with my children and to be a respectful neighbour .

but I also do understand living somewhere quiet then a family with two young boys move in is going to upset her .

I also think I could make her life hell too if I was petty . Anyone could . I want to find away we can live amicable when we both live very different lives .

Blimey that doesn't give a very nice picture of you 😬

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:05

@Blushingm people attacked my parenting . Which I believe I am a good parent who does my best to keep my children volume down. And attacked my children’s characters.

my question on here was …. Should I tell her about the childminding or not . Is she owed that or not . That’s what I am not right about as I didn’t know what was right to do .

OP posts:
SallyDraperGetInHere · 15/05/2025 21:04

Theroadt · 15/05/2025 19:04

You make it clear that (1) you don’t see a probkdm, despite it being a problem for your neighbour (2) you have every intention of adding to this by running a childminding business; and (3) you simply want views on thd best way of handling it with neighbour. I feel a bit sorry for your neighbour, tbh. I have kids and really dislike screaming kids. I don’t think being ND is an excuse for screaming noise all day. Surely you need planning permission for business/daycare use?

‘Screaming noise all day’ - where did you get all day from?

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 21:02

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 20:48

When it real villains were the two brats who disturbed her home. 👀

You got from the story that she was a poor old woman being disturbed by kids? Not luring children to their torture and death, by constructing an irresistible house made of sweets? A death which involved being keeping them in a cage, fattening them up then cooking and eating them.

Yes, I'm sure she was just a misunderstood individual who liked peace and quiet. 🦇💩🤪

Edited
Show quote history

You obviously haven’t read the original 😁

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 21:02

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 15/05/2025 20:58

Huh?

the kids sleep 7-7. It’s the neighbour waking everyone at 4.30!! Not the kids!!! Please re read.

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The neighbour woke the kids with loud music - making the kids loud at 4.30am. And therefore making the situation worse for everyone including herself! Please re read my post!

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:01

@TheHerboriste any chance your taking them as snide comments ? They are not. Maybe ask yourself why it bothers you what I’m saying about her living situation . As that’s all im doing

OP posts:
SallyDraperGetInHere · 15/05/2025 21:01

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 18:54

Because some people are competent at managing children without allowing them to make everyone else's lives miserable.

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What a depressing take. Children being excited and a bit noisy IN THEIR OWN GARDEN is incompetent parenting?

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:00

@ExpressCheckout hi thanks for this advise .

erm , I have introduced her to my boys. Who gave her biscuits when we moved in and she seemed to like them . But it was then she told me she had never liked children. she didn’t like the young children who lived previously to us either . They were learning instruments so she hated that .

So I wouldn’t naturally follow up with come round and enjoy some time with my children .

But yes you’re right I will tell her about my plans moving forward . I Hve told her to please knock if there is an issue .

I also will never have more than 3 children in my care .it will also only be part time. So I felt like it wouldn’t be much different to my own kids having friends over which is why I considered not telling her . But yes i will tell her . But hopefully parking should not be an issue.

OP posts:
Copernicus321 · 15/05/2025 21:00

I'm an advocate for authoritative parenting but I know the trend these days is towards soft parenting. Having said that the neighbour's behaviour at 04:30am is not appropriate.

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:59

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:51

@TheHerboriste think you need to re read why I wrote that

You are making snide statements about her and then backtracking, all wide-eyed and disingenuous, when called on it. "Oh I didn't mean it like THAT..."

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 15/05/2025 20:58

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 20:46

She sounds rather illogical and is just making things worse for herself.

It's just illogical. Noisy kids at 7pm - so fucking what? Noisy kids waking up at 4.30am, absolutely excruciating. And also illegal to play loud music then, whereas children playing outside in the early evening isn't, obviously.

I'd be tempted to buy an air horn and wait until she'd gone to sleep.

Show quote history

Huh?

the kids sleep 7-7. It’s the neighbour waking everyone at 4.30!! Not the kids!!! Please re read.

Blushingm · 15/05/2025 20:57

If you already think you’re right in all counts, why start the thread?

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 20:57

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 20:48

When it real villains were the two brats who disturbed her home. 👀

You got from the story that she was a poor old woman being disturbed by kids? Not luring children to their torture and death, by constructing an irresistible house made of sweets? A death which involved being keeping them in a cage, fattening them up then cooking and eating them.

Yes, I'm sure she was just a misunderstood individual who liked peace and quiet. 🦇💩🤪

Edited
Show quote history

Should say the PG version 😂 not the famine version

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:54

@WorryBear true

I believe I am right that her behaviour was childish. And I am right about how hard I try with my children and to be a respectful neighbour .

but I also do understand living somewhere quiet then a family with two young boys move in is going to upset her .

I also think I could make her life hell too if I was petty . Anyone could . I want to find away we can live amicable when we both live very different lives .

OP posts:
Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:51

@TheHerboriste think you need to re read why I wrote that

OP posts:
WorryBear · 15/05/2025 20:50

It's obvious you think you are totally in the right and she in the wrong. However, this is irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact she can make your life hell and she already gave you a little taster session. How you proceed is of course up to you, but brace yourself ... she will continue to be difficult and malicious. :((( I feel sorry for both parties, as I get both perspectives.

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:49

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:36

@WomenInSTEM of course I know this. I have many best friends and family memebers who have chosen to not have children . Who still spend time with children .

she does not spend time with anyone but her husband and does not enjoy children around she told me. No one visits their home.

So? Of what relevance is her social life to the noise your family is making?

What if one of your sons decides to lead an introverted or solitary lifestyle. Will you call that out as some sort of weirdness, too?