Page 6 | Our new Neighbours and my loud children

Marley11 · 2025-05-15T16:53:07+00:00

Hi I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first. We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom. We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 ) They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong. But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “ she has never had children and isn’t keen on them . my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour ! my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ? Thank you

Fruitbat99 · 16/05/2025 01:54

Hmm I do think it would be quite selfish to start childminding if it's going to disturb your neighbours. And if she's wokem you up at 4.30am to teach you a lesson im wondering what else she'll do in the future.

Tbrh · 16/05/2025 01:09

Renabrook · 16/05/2025 00:52

People do not have to keep on hearing noise and put up with 'they are just being children' it is not an excuse

It's always the people with the bratty kids who say, "it's just kids"

Renabrook · 16/05/2025 00:52

People do not have to keep on hearing noise and put up with 'they are just being children' it is not an excuse

SapphireSeptember · 16/05/2025 00:45

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 23:41

Most kids get anxious when they are reprimanded. That’s the point.

Let’s hope he thinks before letting out the next shriek.

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Tell me you know nothing about how ASD/ADD work without telling me you know nothing etc.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 16/05/2025 00:21

mindingmyown37 · 15/05/2025 22:41

I’ve come across a fair few people over my 37 years on this planet that made it known they hated kids, some people are just not the nurturing type.. and just because you’ve personally never heard someone say it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t get said.. people like you with tunnel vision, need to give thier heads a wobble.
it also goes both ways, op and her family have the right to enjoy thier garden too.

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Just because people “hate kids” does not mean they are not the nurturing type. Plenty of people who hate kids are in caring job roles or have a pet they nurture. I’m interested to know when you say people who hate kids do you mean people who choose not to have kids? Because I know of plenty of people that hate kids who are parents themselves, you probably know them too. Let me think, what about all the parents that kill their children, rape and abuse them? Articles in the newspapers everyday about a child being murdered and tortured at the hands of a parent. A so called nurturing type? People like you are ones that are so ignorant in the world it’s embarrassing. Are you not embarrassed by your comments? I would be if I made them. Give your head a wobble and understand the neighbour also has a right to enjoy her garden without her l peace being disturbed .

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 16/05/2025 00:06

mindingmyown37 · 15/05/2025 22:34

The fact that most people have instantly jumped on the bandwagon that ops children are too loud amazes me, just because one person said they were loud doesn’t I fact mean they are loud. Perception is different to everyone. What are kids supposed to do? Stay quiet outside. As long as it’s not late at night or early hours and constant I don’t see the problem. Given ops son has ansd, this should be taken into consideration aswell. Our neighbours dog barks the minute we walk out the back door, can’t do anything with out it knowing. It’s bloody annoying as hell but that’s our perception. My daughters friends come around for the pool and hot tub but we make them keep it down by a certain time and the rule is no screeching. We had 15 girls last summer, was a bit lively but they were good as gold. Neighbours knew beforehand and actually said it was no more noise than usual. I live predominantly near elderly neighbours.

Op said her children were loud, repeatedly . The title: my loud children, they have very loud characters, the loudest voice. Did you not read the thread?

Aavalon57 · 16/05/2025 00:05

I'm afraid your neighbour just sounds like a misery guts and nothing will change that. There's a neighbour's kid who screams a lot and is loud in the garden three doors down from us, but we just tune it out and it isn't all day. When my nephew was around 2 years old, he'd go ballistic if we cut his toast the wrong way or put his rice too close to his yoghurt, for example. So I know what you mean about those tantrums. Your childminding business is none of her business. Of course she will say no if you ask her. Your other neighbours seem okay, and they've all had problems with her. Is she retired, goes out much? What is her husband like? I also don't have children but I do understand that noise is part and parcel of it. If you give in to her now, she will keep seeing you as a pushover rather than being grateful that you are being a considerate neighbour. She will see it as a victory rather than a compromise. I don't think you are being unreasonable.

Thankgoditsbedtyme · 16/05/2025 00:03

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 23:46

It’s a village. With smartphone audio/video and local social media, the neighbour can document exactly what children would be in for at OP’s childminding business. No one wants to send their kids to a chaotic environment where there’s a constant threat of Ofsted reports.

Two can play “tough tits” and I bet the neighbour is strongly motivated.

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Wow!!! What a barrel of laughs you are.
Are you the neighbour?? You’re extremely invested and very negative.
What you’re suggesting sounds like slander, defamation of character and unnecessary harassment. I feel extremely sorry for your neighbours. What a killjoy!!

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 23:56

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:40

@Youstolemygoddamnhouse ok. Well independent adults tells me you work with older kids or young adults .

mine are 2 and 6 ! So they are still learning and will get there

Edited

I said PREPARE them to become independent adults… is that not what schools do? Educate children and prepare them for adulthood? And yes, they are indeed still young and learning still there is still plenty of time.

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 23:46

GoodCharl · 15/05/2025 23:26

Op im afraid its a case of tough tits for the neighbour. Your kids sound normal. Dont tell her re childminding, she will not be happy! If she takes it upon herself to not talk to you for 10 years, so be it. Soundproof those walls tho

It’s a village. With smartphone audio/video and local social media, the neighbour can document exactly what children would be in for at OP’s childminding business. No one wants to send their kids to a chaotic environment where there’s a constant threat of Ofsted reports.

Two can play “tough tits” and I bet the neighbour is strongly motivated.

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 23:41

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 22:13

@Jimmyneutronsforehead thank you this is great advise .

your right about the anxieties and warnings. My 6 year old is very anxious and hates being told off . I have spent all evening telling him off for noise volume . And he’s gone to bed anxious . I feel terrible now . As this isn’t normally how I parent him. But I just felt angry / upset / she had woke us all and complained in that way about them . I took it out on them tonight .

We have time out cards and talk about feelings on flash cards . But yes the clock could work for him.

but outside the noise is more excitement playing with his brother

my two year old tho no chance . He has no idea how loud he is . He voice travels even when he talks.

thanks again

Most kids get anxious when they are reprimanded. That’s the point.

Let’s hope he thinks before letting out the next shriek.

Catsandcannedbeans · 15/05/2025 23:40

Blasting music is weird. If I was concerned about someone’s kids being noisy and I didn’t think they knew how thin the walls were I would just tell them. “Hay, the walls are really thin so do you think you could get the kids to keep it down a bit in the morning?” Would suffice fine. Tbh she sounds like she could be a thorn in your side, so if you go on with the childminding I would try and make peace. However if you decide to can that I would just let my kids enjoy the garden and live their lives. Within reason of course, if they truly are screaming all day you need to nip that in the bud. It’s okay to not have kids, it’s even okay to not like kids, but unfortunately there’s kid almost everywhere so you need to learn to live with them. Go live in a warner leisure hotel or whatever they’re called if you really cannot abide them that much…

GoodCharl · 15/05/2025 23:26

Op im afraid its a case of tough tits for the neighbour. Your kids sound normal. Dont tell her re childminding, she will not be happy! If she takes it upon herself to not talk to you for 10 years, so be it. Soundproof those walls tho

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 23:17

She will find something else to moan about is unfair and unjustified? But calling me entitled is fair and justified ? Ok

My comment she will find something else to moan about is , due to her falling out with the previous neighbour for noise and the old man who lived here previously kept coming back to the house after his wife died as he couldn’t Let go. She reported him. He was harmless .

and she fell out with someone else over a tree.

so no it is justified thanks

OP posts:

Mumofoneandone · 15/05/2025 23:11

Your young children being vocal in the garden during the day is just life. Your neighbour playing loud music at 4.30am is not acceptable. She sounds difficult and her antics need reporting to the council if they continue. Particularly if you are trying to start a business from home.

k1233 · 15/05/2025 23:03

I detest the sound of screaming kids. Even more so when parents make zero effort to ask them to keep the noise down. It's up there with barking dogs - hate them too.

Before I get accused of "not understanding that's just how kids play" I live between a primary school and home run child care. Best neighbours I've ever had. Kids play reasonably and really aren't a bother.

There's a huge difference between fun play and raucous behaviour. There's no need for over the top screaming.

Hulabalu · 15/05/2025 22:58

Cognacsoft · 15/05/2025 22:41

You’ve never heard anyone say they don’t like dc?
Of course people say it with a tinkly laugh but they mean it.

I bet that ndn did say that she didn’t like dc to the op.

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I don’t believe I’ve heard an adult say that no, maybe when I was in teens or early 20s ( ie not adults) a friend might have it but they didn’t mean it

Justhere65 · 15/05/2025 22:57

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 21:48

@nobodywantsit i under and your view

but I also like someone else said on here . Don’t be dictated by her . As I may not set up the business and shel find something else to moan about

I have apologised for our flaws and things we could do better . I am trying to.

iv not let my kids in the garden all eve tonight which has made me feel sad for them as I don’t want to live like that but I can’t stop every loud noise they make . I have asked other neighbours for their perspective too and they had no problems . And thought my children were fine : but I guess it’s all relative to what you can enjoy / tolerate / listen to .

I think your comment ‘she’ll find something else to moan about’ is unfair and not justified. She doesn’t like noisy children … she has been clear about that. You sound very entitled to me.

Hulabalu · 15/05/2025 22:53

mindingmyown37 · 15/05/2025 22:41

I’ve come across a fair few people over my 37 years on this planet that made it known they hated kids, some people are just not the nurturing type.. and just because you’ve personally never heard someone say it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t get said.. people like you with tunnel vision, need to give thier heads a wobble.
it also goes both ways, op and her family have the right to enjoy thier garden too.

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I can understand some ppl aren’t the nurturing type but to actually say to their NDN with kids “I don’t like kids” ?! Sorry I just don’t believe NDN said that

Hotflushesandchilblains · 15/05/2025 22:49

If it is quiet in the evening and at night, she has no right to complain I think. Although I am not sure I would be keen on living next to a child minder.

SapphireSeptember · 15/05/2025 22:47

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:45

I don't waste my time knocking on the doors of noisy inconsiderate pisstakers; it's a foregone conclusion that they would not be cooperative or receptive.

Nor would I harrass at 4am. But I certainly would fight fire with fire between 7am and 11pm. Naptime or no naptime, childminding clients or not.

If OP wants to make it the neighbourhood norm to create loud noise, she'll find herself suffering the same as everyone else..

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Anti social behaviour is still anti social behaviour no matter what time of the day it is!
My DS sleeps through most things, and I'm a heavy metal fan, so I'm used to noise, but if someone decided to be a dick because, shock horror, children make noise, I'd be recording the lot and reporting to the relevant authorities.

I suppose you wouldn't mind pissing off the other neighbours/rest of the street either?

My Nan's upstairs neighbour complained to the council about me crying when I was a baby, he got told there was nothing they could do.

BrianaBlessed · 15/05/2025 22:45

Why do your kids have ‘very deep voices’ as you’ve mentioned a few times. Have they had a toddler puberty?

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 22:45

No bullshit. I have no reason to lie . Nothing to gain. she did say that and rolled her eyes when I said I had two boys . I only mention this as I wanted to explain that I knew she didn’t like children . I knew that on day one.

I won’t tell you anything else she said , as I will have her gang gunning for me again so il be quiet.

thank you for the understanding responses regarding my children and my eldests needs xx

OP posts:

Cognacsoft · 15/05/2025 22:41

Hulabalu · 15/05/2025 22:37

Yeah I’m gonna call BS on OP. I don’t believe the neighbour said that. It’s just not something people say, even if they genuinely don’t like kids for some reason.
Neighbour should have spoken to OP before blasting music at 430am though …
But also sounds that OP is not being considerate of neighbour and now wants to run a nursery from her garden. ..
I do feel sorry for her neighbour who has a right to enjoy their home in peace

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You’ve never heard anyone say they don’t like dc?
Of course people say it with a tinkly laugh but they mean it.

I bet that ndn did say that she didn’t like dc to the op.

mindingmyown37 · 15/05/2025 22:41

Hulabalu · 15/05/2025 22:37

Yeah I’m gonna call BS on OP. I don’t believe the neighbour said that. It’s just not something people say, even if they genuinely don’t like kids for some reason.
Neighbour should have spoken to OP before blasting music at 430am though …
But also sounds that OP is not being considerate of neighbour and now wants to run a nursery from her garden. ..
I do feel sorry for her neighbour who has a right to enjoy their home in peace

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I’ve come across a fair few people over my 37 years on this planet that made it known they hated kids, some people are just not the nurturing type.. and just because you’ve personally never heard someone say it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t get said.. people like you with tunnel vision, need to give thier heads a wobble.
it also goes both ways, op and her family have the right to enjoy thier garden too.