Our new Neighbours and my loud children

Get yourself a decibel meter app on your phone, and set a limit for noise levels in the garden (and house).
Then make up a star chart and award them a star when they stick below that limit. It’s a new game, and that’s how kids learn.
It might be easier on you to let them carry on, but learning how to control their volume is a very useful life skill, and makes your whole family look better.

How can you possibly become a childminder if you can't get a child of your own to be quiet. I wouldn't want my children in a chaotic house and I feel sorry for your neighbour.

Screaming is for emergencies and is not normal play

people in england can be, i agree, be a little uptight - not everyone of course! And surely any visitor, family member, grocery delivery guy or whatever would have the same 'impact. We certainly have a couple of dozen amazon vans (and suchlike on our cul-de-sac every day...

I have asd and adhd child and if left alone thry will get lohder and louder.. we bring them in if making excessive noise. The odd yelp, ok, but when they start to get roudy its inside time and separated into different rooms.
This is usually after about half hour, they have half hour break then they can go back out , its stressful and involved continuous monitoring. Parenting asd and adhd is not easy I know, separating works until the have calmed down. Or its one at a time outside.

This is what I meant, who would choose this chaotic, loud environment to send their children to. I'd take one look and leave. But good luck OP if you think others will be into it

So from what i read, you cant control your own children very well. You are inflicting them on your neighbour without any consideration and you cant take it when someone gives you a taste of your own medicine.

If you then plan to look after someone elses children, something i wouldnt advise considering you struggle with your own, you think thats going to work out well with this neighbour? Commercial setup changes the rules on what is and isnt acceptable with regards to noise. Could prove to be very expensive trying to soundproof your home. Also sounds like your neighbour is quite capable of fighting fire with fire. Be warned, this is going to get messy

@TheHerboriste Who hurt you?!?

Get the wall insulation up when renovating.
If she hates it that much she will complain and even if it’s not going to shut your business it may very well devalue your house. Sounds like she isn’t moving so she won’t care.

Yes of course. But just because one set of neighbours find it endearing doesnt give you reason to dismiss the others complaint.

Yes and she doesn’t like them.
I do have a child (grown up) but wouldn’t want to live next to a neighbour with noisy kids who works as a childminder.

I have children, I am surrounded by houses with children playing. It’s nice, I like hearing them play.
However 10 years ago a family moved nearby with 2 children who screatch morning to night. All through lockdown there were kids out and all you hear was those 2 screaming at each other. Their dad who has a big booming voice would join in. Honestly it was hell.
They are in secondary now as rarely go out and it’s bliss to be outside, I can still hear other children and it’s nice.
Their neighbour told me it often started in at 5am until 11am, she had to change bedrooms and often stayed her DD who has 4 children to get some peace.
Neither child is ND. No one has ever told them to shut up. I’m from a large family and I remember being told to ‘pipe down’ if we got too loud outside, or threatened to have to come inside unless we kept the noise down.

It’s not normal playing, it’s inconsiderate parenting. I know the mum quite well and she complains about any other noises that disturb her of course constantly.

Well she's showing you she's no pushover as well. Good for her.

Your kids make noise for an hour or so after school and at the weekends, and she played the radio at 4.30am. These are in no way the same. She's the one making noise outside of what most people would consider social hours and I'd point that out to her if I were you.

I work at home in the week and need to concentrate and focus. I wouldn't mind at all if I heard kids playing/laughing/even screaming for about an hour in the afternoons.

Ignore the pile-on. This is AIBU and it attracts people just wanting to put the boot in.

You can never tell when it's going to happen but sometimes the most ordinary & innocuous AIBU can end up like this. They stop listening to the op & just feed each other more & more outrage. Before you know it an entire story has been fabricated that bears no resemblance to the original post.

Like, you literally never said your kids were screaming yet it's become the narrative that they are, indeed, screaming at all hours.

I will reiterate that your neighbour sounds like a dick, you sound perfectly normal as do your children doing normal children things at normal times of the day

Well this thread is full of crazy.

dc can be loud so try to balance inside and outside play. Some dc have zero volume control - dd1 super quiet, dtd 2&3 loud or asleep (they’re able to moderate now but still need occasional reminders - age 13). There’s a difference between loud playing and screeching - screeching I’d stop instantly.

playing loud music to wake dc at 4.30am? So now dc are tired and more likely to have meltdowns. It was a dick move. I’d aim to be aware of noise levels and ensure I felt it was normal family noise but that’s as far as I’d go. You can use apps to measure noise which might be helpful.

This thread has become quite unhinged, like a mob of starving hyenas have descended on an injured animal & ripping it to pieces - so much frothing & snarling at OP.

Nothing OP has said about her kids behaviour has been weird or unusual. It seemed obvious to me that she was being flip & lighthearted about ordinary kid noises. Pointing out her neighbour doesn't have kids or visitors or even leaves the house is not judgemental it is simply relaying information to paint an accurate picture.

Abnormal behaviour is telling your brand new neighbour, who has popped round with biscuits to introduce herself, that you hate children IS WEIRD & RUDE by any measure. Who does that? I'll tell you - arseholes.

At no point does OP say her kids are out screaming all day, neither are they making noise beyond bedtime at 7pm. It's severe mob mentality & you're all out with pitchforks to burn the witch having gotten riled up by each other without bothering to use your comprehension skills to read what op is actually saying!

Neighbour sounds like a miserable shit. Miserable shits exists & OP is living next to one. She didn't speak to the last neighbour for TEN YEARS.

Fascinating, nevertheless, to watch when this place goes all Lord of the Flies for no apparent reason.

You seem to be doing a lot of shit stirring about your neighbour and that will not be helping your situation.

Although from is described by the OP, it doesn't really sound like the right environment for a childminders so not sure if there will be much uptake. Agree though, definitely doesn't sound like it's fair on the neighbours either.

I think that's demonstrating that everyone can hear your children

She's pissed off with the noise your family is making you must try to reduce it and be reasonable