Our new Neighbours and my loud children

No, it’s a woman at the end of her tether having a selfish neighbour who won’t supervise her children properly.

I particularly like the replies encouraging OP to engage in a tit-for-tat "fuck around and find out" course of action.

The one where someone would 'make sure the neighbour never got a lie in again' was a good one. If I was the neighbour I'd relish the challenge if that started as I could sleep through a nuclear attack, personally, and when I did finally wake up I'd still struggle to rouse DH who has been known to sleep through a smoke alarm going off in the room he's asleep in.

The neighbour could easily wear ear plugs if they needed to in the event of OP deliberately trying to wake them early. OP wouldn't have as much luck getting 2 and 6 YOs to wear ear plugs if the neighbour decided to retaliate and make a racket at 3am each day.

Yes, only engage with the thoughtful replies, the ones telling me you’re right, the replies that give validation and everyone who doesn’t think so is wrong, wrong, wrong. I’m joking, relax. She asked for advice on a public forum, people are going to have opinions when it comes to noise and children. She’s been given some good advice. I do think people will also get defensive and think any comment that doesn’t agree with them is some kind of personal attack on them, their kids and parenting choices. I do think Op has been purposely snarky regarding comments about her neighbour to gain sympathy which people have noticed hence some of the replies.

Hahaha fuck me

😅😅

Literally the only way to handle being the OP of an even possibly slightly controversial thread is to just ignore the weird ones. Don’t reply/try to endlessly justify and soothe and explain. They sense they then have you on the hook and they escalate and escalate the insults and theories and nonsense until you have someone just typing the words selfish selfish selfish over and over as above.
Engage only with the thoughtful and considered replies, totally ignore the rest - they will still get wound up and red faced and increase the vitriol but it’s easier if you’re not trying to explain yourself.

No. I think good for her and next time turn it up louder

No wonder you're in agreement with OP, going by your own attitude. You must have pushed your neighbour's for them to respond like that and you reckon you didn't know your noise was bothering them- or didn't care? The neighbour is showing she won't be a pushover either.

What in the ELF are you talking about? At no point, not once, has OP said her kids scream. Not once.

You could always, yanno, read her actual comments 🤷🏼

My god this thread is absolutely batshit.

My parents have suffered for ten years with a next door neighbour that has an ASD child. The child is now a teenager and she kicks and bangs the walls so hard the house shakes. She screams and bangs from the minute she is awake at 05:30 until she goes to school and then from the minute she gets home until well into the night. My parent’s sleep and psychological well being has been severely impacted by it. And all the mother does is shrug and say she can’t do anything about it. She doesn’t even try. She locks her in her room and then sits downstairs with ear defenders on. She can’t manage the teenagers behaviour at home but won’t move her to residential care which would be better for everyone, the teen included. It’s so unfair to subject neighbours to this level, frequency and duration of noise on neighbours.

You sound quite angry yourself. As I said before, I'd like to get your neighbour's version of what's been going on because you rely are coming across as goady and unreasonable.

Speaking of “calm down” 🙄

I have had to listen to a child scream, screech and whine from 10:25am today

@GeorgianaM
Hey! Just wondering if you think the neighbour playing her radio through the wall at 4.30am was also selfish, selfish, selfish behaviour?

’they go to bed at 7.00pm’

translation - Suck it up neighbour they can scream all day long but you can have peace and quiet after 7.00pm!

Her nerves are probably frazzled by them.

Selfish, selfish, selfish parenting by you.

I'm a childminder and the children aren't allowed to scream unreasonably outside. I wouldn't like it if kids were doing it next door to me.
The last thing you want is malicious complaints being made to Ofsted and having an inspector turn up on the doorstep.

Most of Mumsnet are scared to open their front door and spend their lives castigating people online for being humans. You’ve had a lot of mad answers here.
We have had a similar experience with neighbours recently - didn’t realise we were making noise that was bothering them and instead of talking to us like adults they banged and screamed abuse through the walls which then escalated. Once we actually managed to reason with them we fixed the issue in 5 minutes. But they are now absolutely dead to me, luckily DH is a peacemaker but if it were up to me they’d be getting heavy metal music through the wall every time they banged and screamed.

I would be firm with her - the children will be in the garden, making normal children noise during waking hours. Responding to that with illegal antisocial noise in the night is harassment and waking and affecting small children is your red line. If it continues she will be reported to council/PCSO etc.
You will of course not allow excessive or antisocial noise from your kids.
Don’t let her walk all over you . Good luck xx