Our new Neighbours and my loud children

You are completely unreasonable to set up as a childminder if you are semi detached. She’d be within her right to complain over noise through thin walls - what a complete nightmare.

Also if you can’t keep 2 quiet how are you going to keep more quiet on top of these?!?

Say what you're saying is that you make no attempt to keep your own children quiet and you're delighted that you'll soon be able to make even more noise?

I'm with you. Nothing she can do. Good luck ! ❤️

So…the house is a big project, you have two loud kids and you’re setting up a childminding business. I don’t think you’re gonna be bezzy mates that’s for sure.

Nobody should be allowing their kids to scream in the garden.

Do you have permission to run a childminding business from home?

You have described your children as characters which is normally a euphemism for unusual/ nightmares.

you don’t sound like the best neighbours but I don’t think there is anything they can do about the business.

if you want to ruin your relationship don’t tell her but if you want to keep the relationship you should talk to her and explain the plan and what you will be doing to minimise the noise.

It is possible that childminders may require planning permission - it will depend on the number of children, staff etc. She can report to the Council who will come and investigate. If PP is required, she can certainly object to the application.
You might want to check with your local council for their rules on childminding.

And stop your children screaming in the garden. Yes kids having fun aren't going to be silent. But there is a difference between laughing and chatting, and screaming. They should be taken indoors as soon as that starts until they learn it's not acceptable.

Honestly? If you were in her shoes, and lived with a neighbour who admittedly already had loud kids themselves, with paper thin walls, would you really want her setting up a business as a childminder?

I don't know how it works, but does she have the chance to object to this with the council?

It just sounds like the whole situation could become very unpleasant and sour neighbour relations even more

Think hard about your decision... living next to neighbours who you dont get on with can make life very miserable and neighbour disputes can be hideous and costly

And to go from there to "She isn't keen on children" Burn the witch!

I have a friend who adores her own children, but really dislikes pretty much any other child she comes across. So go figure. Your DC sound annoying.

All jokes aside I nearly had a nervous breakdown living next door to a very loud family with two loud children and parents doing performative parenting. For context this was in a tiny village with detached houses and I had an acre garden. I could hear them night and day even with noise cancelling headphones and triple glazing. So I empathise with your neighbour.

@Marley11you need to really and honestly reflect on how noisy and disruptive your children are and how much you try to manage this.

What do other people think? If you ask you need to be wanting and prepared for honest answers.

If you conclude she probably has a point then you need to apologise and try and manage it better and bring them inside if they’re making a racket in the garden for ages.

I had a neighbour a few doors down who had 3 primary aged kids. They would be out on the trampoline at 7.30am screeching and the dog barking at them.

It drove me insane and they weren’t next door.

As for the child minding, I don’t know if she could object but really think about whether you want that battle too. What’s the parking and access like? Are you going to have parents pissing off the neighbours?

Stop your kids making a noise. I accept one may have meltdowns occasionally but it’s your job to have in place mechanisms to stop them. As to the other child, just stop the noise

i dont blame her for putting the radio on as that seems the only way to get across to you how awful it is to live next to someone whose noisy

as to the childminding, if you can’t keep your own kids under control why are you being a childminder!

It’s a good job you don’t line next door to us. My dh is a complete music enthusiast and has a very loud stereo which would blown your mind.
He doesn’t play it loud, but would do if you behaved like your dcs do.
You need to teach your children to use quieter voices.
I can’t abide adults who think it’s fine to shout and scream in public. You are teaching your DCs to because such adults.
Bare in mind if you annoy your neighbour, she will do it back to you, and do it whilst you have other children there.

Neighbour is childish one here for blaring her radio in the early hours to "punish" you. Pathetic. You have young children, one with additional needs. She doesn't live on a private island. No one is intentionally aggravating her.

You need to teach your kids appropriate behaviour. This sounds excessive.

And whilst you can be a childminder, she can also have her radio on. So you might want to put in a bit of effort so this doesn’t escalate.

Ah the old kids being kids excuse

You lost me at the dig about her not having children. It’s knowing how to be considerate neighbours regardless of your personal family situation

One thing my kids couldn’t do was make excessive continuous noise in the garden. I brought them in if they got over excited, as it is annoying for neighbours. That said, she cannot do anything about your childcare business.

I’m not saying you are but we live on a lovely street and have one set of ahole neighbours who allow their young kids to SCREAM out in the garden all summer long, every year without fail, normal children playing noise is absolutely fine but these kids are feral and all they do is scream and screech all day long and the parents don’t even attempt to stop them from doing it. It’s miserable during the summer. My Asd ds really struggles and it does send HIM into meltdowns which I have to then calm him down and that’s not fair. They aren’t the “approachable” type either, think domestic violence, police, alcohol and the parents screaming at each other too!! I feel sorry for these kids but I really wish their parents would PARENT them and I know I’m not the only household in the street who feels this way from talking to my other neighbours who are all lovely!!

Op’s kids sound rowdier than most.
Screaming in the garden all day is not on.

im not reading this as a dig at a childless woman.
I think it’s relevant as she’s probably not used to how noisy children are so the OPs children are a bit of a shock.

Be prepared for complaints to Ofsted by the neighbour. This happened to a friend and although the complaints were trivial and never upheld it was frustrating and stressful.

she can't stop you from working as a childminder
you can't stop her from blasting heavy metal or music with hardcore swearing through the wall when you're trying to get the kids to nap...
or standing in the doorway talking loudly to a friend about how she's seen you hit your kids in front of prospective parents

I'm obviously not suggesting you do do this, just giving an example of something she could do if she wanted to make your life hard. Basically do you want the aggro or can you sort something out now before it gets too conflicted?

I would absolutely hate to live next door to you!

The fact that she doesn’t have children and isn’t keen on them is irrelevant, op.
Yours sound like a major pain in the arse. Teach them not to be so bloody loud.